Rating: 
Summary: Good ideas although too verbose
Review: "People Skills" is a primer on interacting with others. Bolton's premise is that our communication patterns are inherently faulty and he urges the reader adopt his framework to remedy. He presents - in order - listening skills, assertion skills, conflict-resolution skills, and collaborative problem solving skills, with each building upon the others. He blends keen insight into human nature, concepts of psychology and basic Judeo-Christian values into what appears to be a very effective methodology. The skills seem obvious, but in practice are rarely used, and in fact are rather uncomfortable when trying to start using.I found Bolton's framework very valuable and thus far see its application can profoundly improve my own people skills in both a business and parental setting. Unfortunately, like most books of this type, the text is extremely verbose. Bolton possesses a style that is much less dry and wordy than many of his peers - in fact, I find it difficult to finish most of these types of books - but the ideas plus examples could have been distilled down to one-half the length of the 300 pages. The text is also very well referenced and footnoted, but - as a lay reader - I think the constant crediting other psychologists and philosophers confuse and muddy the message. This could be a book that one could return to periodically to refresh their skills, but its length will prevent the less diligent. I found myself taking detailed notes on each chapter for later referral; while a testament to the material, I wish the author had made it easier to digest.
Rating:
Summary: Good ideas although too verbose
Review: "People Skills" is a primer on interacting with others. Bolton's premise is that our communication patterns are inherently faulty and he urges the reader adopt his framework to remedy. He presents - in order - listening skills, assertion skills, conflict-resolution skills, and collaborative problem solving skills, with each building upon the others. He blends keen insight into human nature, concepts of psychology and basic Judeo-Christian values into what appears to be a very effective methodology. The skills seem obvious, but in practice are rarely used, and in fact are rather uncomfortable when trying to start using. I found Bolton's framework very valuable and thus far see its application can profoundly improve my own people skills in both a business and parental setting. Unfortunately, like most books of this type, the text is extremely verbose. Bolton possesses a style that is much less dry and wordy than many of his peers - in fact, I find it difficult to finish most of these types of books - but the ideas plus examples could have been distilled down to one-half the length of the 300 pages. The text is also very well referenced and footnoted, but - as a lay reader - I think the constant crediting other psychologists and philosophers confuse and muddy the message. This could be a book that one could return to periodically to refresh their skills, but its length will prevent the less diligent. I found myself taking detailed notes on each chapter for later referral; while a testament to the material, I wish the author had made it easier to digest.
Rating: 
Summary: Excellent to enhance one's communication skills.
Review: An excellent book that teaches assertive skills, listening skills, and an approach to problem solving or conflict solving. Not too technical in term of jargons used.
Rating:
Summary: Excellent Keeper and MUST For your personal library!
Review: Anyone wanting to learn skills in interpersonal relationships must get this book. No book will help cure your problems, that has to come from how you use the skills. Skills learned in this book have improved my relationships with people. Remember, book or no book, new skills take time. This book is an excellent price and you won't regret buying this book!
Rating:
Summary: clear, practical, and misses five key points
Review: As a professional consultant on personal healing and human relationships, I have studied innerpersonal and interpersonal communication skills for 40 years. I have worked professionally with author Robert Bolton and his associates. I have published a book about effective thinking and communication which includes learnings from Bolton.
Except for "Peoplemaking" by Virginia Satir, this is the most practical, comprehensive, and insightful book I have found for people seeking to improve the effectiveness of their communcations, relationships, and personal serenity.
This book would be even more useful if Bolton included:
1) that the aim of communication (behavior) is to fill current primary needs - so clear awareness of your and any partner's needs is essential;
2) the reality that human behavior (including communicating) is inexorably shaped by the subselves that compose our personalities. Therefore, the first step in improving communication outcomes is to become aware of and harmonize our subselves. An effective way to do this is "Inner-family therapy." Without doing this, most readers will be unable to follow Bolton's helpful suggestions.
3) the learnable skills of "awareness" and "digging down" are essential requisites for the five skills Bolton describes;
4) the concept of "R(elationship) messages" that all kids and adults unconsciously decode from each other. These multi-media messages are among the most powerful factors affecting the outcome any communication interchange, yet few people are aware of them. And "People Skills" would be better if it integrated...
5) the effects of human *gender* on communication priorities, perceptions, and outcomes. See "You Just Don't Understand," by linguist Barbara Tannen, and "Brain Sex," by Anne Moir and David Jessel.
My book adds these factors to Bolton's concepts: "Satisfactions - 7 relationship skills you need to know" (xlibris.com, 2002).
Rating:
Summary: Mastering Communication
Review: Bolton does a good job of teaching communication strategies. He identifies "high risk" responses -- words that put up barriers between people and lead to resentment and anger. He also discusses the art of reflective listening, reading body language, and, finally, assertiveness. He correctly states that being assertive will, on occasion, bring you into conflict with others. The book instructs you on how to deftly handle conflict and defensiveness. This is where the tough skills of listening and communicating come into play. Bolton's writing style is steady and clear, but not especially lively. That makes the book somewhat of a chore to read, despite the good information contained therein. I would give it 5 stars for content alone, but 3 stars for presentation. Odd, in fact, that a book on communication fails to maintain an interesting tone.
Rating: 
Summary: Decent work, but flawed
Review: Bolton's work on people's skills has some good ideas and should be used. I was dismayed though that the other reviews I read all thought this was worthy of 5 stars. Some of Bolton's arguments are flawed and using some of his techniques may lead to greater conflict. On one part of his work he seems to be saying that compromise is bad, and you are weak if you compromise. Not compromising has led to many of the armed conflicts that we have seen, (I will concede that compromising TOO much is weak), but some compromise especially in a marriage faciliates greater harmony, and opens up the possibility for greater communication between spouses. I feel the reader needs to "read between the lines" to really see what Bolton's philosophy is. The reader should take what is good out of this book and use it.
Rating:
Summary: Interesting book for all culture background
Review: Communication and people skill is always a challenge for me since I am an immigrant, with very different culture background from those living here for generations.
This book helps me to summarize what I have already realized but in pieces and enlightened me with what I still searching for.
I found this book this book by accident and it may change my life in a very possitive way.
Rating:
Summary: Practical and well organized guide to personal interaction.
Review: Dr. Bolton has done a terrific job of developing a practical guide to interpersonal interactions. It is organized into logical categories and full of practical situations and useful examples.
Rating:
Summary: A MUST-READ AT LEAST ONCE A YEAR
Review: I bought this book at a garage sale back in 1988. It has been of tremendous value to me, both in the workplace and in personal relationships. As I've been exposed to current counseling regarding passive/assertive/aggressive behavior this past year, I have appreciated PEOPLE SKILLS all the more. This book is very clear and teaches the new behavior skills one step at a time. The in-depth comparisons between passive and aggressive behaviors is invaluable. Assertion skills make sense as a balanced choice after grasping the teaching presented here. I'm so glad this book is not out of print, as my copy is precariously taped together!
|
