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Summary: "I didn't know it was possible to be both honest and kind!"
Review: Crucial Conversations offers a well organized approach to examining those very select conversations that we all have where the stakes are high, there's a difference of opinion and there is an emotional investment. How these conversations are handled truly separates the good from the best. A friend of mine, who read this material revealed to me that they wished that they had understood (in the early years of marriage) that "it is possible to be both honest and kind". My friend believed that this would have potentially saved the relationship with their spouse.These are the conversation in which we find ourselves responding in the grip of our style under stress, inevitably behaving in ways that lead us farther and farther away from our deepest-held objectives. The power of recalling what we really want in a crucial conversation that has moved toward silence (withdrawing, attacking, avoiding) or violence (labeling, contolling, attacking)offers transforming potential for sharing tough content honestly and respectfully. The format of this book offers the reader a nicely structured set of 7 principles, associated skills and easy to use key questions and anecdotal examples for practical application. All together Crucial Conversations has all the makings of a communication bible for those interested in expanding their influence, leveraging the wisdom of a group and enriching their relationships.
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Summary: Find out what others are really thinking!
Review: Every chapter in this book had great meaning to me and provided significant ideas. A part that had a special effect on me was "Explore Others' Paths. In the International business that I am in, I am privileged to work with people of various cultures I find that some cultures allow for the expression of emotions. Other cultures tend to hide them. I have a real challenge in getting these people to really express what they feel. I find that the "Ask, Mirror, Paraphrase and Prime" technique works well in these situations. Another area that is close to home is the chapter on "Master My Stories." If we know that we are making up stories about critical situations then for sure the person across the table has lots of stories in his or her mind. Reading and following the principles in this book is just a great way to improve any relationship where there is something on the line whether it be love, concern, money, trust, or any other type of connection. It was a real eye opener.
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Summary: Crucial Conversations
Review: Few writings so quickly dispense with useless theory. The content of this book has amazing "real life" application which we found could get imediate results in our organization. We took the trouble to verify the validity of the research and found it to be academically sound as well. This book puts "legs" on the 7 Habits! Not just idea De Jour!
BRAVO...
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Summary: Crucial for everyone!
Review: I am a Financial Planner and I am always interested in works that help me to communicate with all types of people. I learned a great deal reading Crucial Conversations that I have already put to practice. It was an easy read with an abundance of information. I recommend this book to anyone who wishes to improve upon their communication skills. You can't help but enjoy yourself while you do it!!! Great Job. Chuck
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Summary: One of my Three Best Business Books of 2002!
Review: I am an unabashed fan of this book! I've read hundreds of business books over the years, many about communications skills and conflict resolution. I thought I had read everything there was until I picked up this book. I can't speak about the personal / family uses, but in just two weeks, this book has made a profound difference in my interactions in some fairly sticky business situations and in my coaching practice as well.
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Summary: If You Like Dr. Phil, You'll Love Crucial Conversations
Review: I began reading "Crucial Conversations" with a great deal of skepticism. I had previously read a number of other books in the genre, and always felt them less than filling -- too much theory and too little practical advice. In fact, the only self-help book that I had read in recent years that was remotely helpful was Dr. Phil McGraw's "Self Matters." But as good as that book is, I still found it a bit lacking in direction. I was looking for something more. And I found it in "Crucial Conversations." The book was simple to read, clear of psychobabble jargon, and straight to the point. More than anything, the book made an enormous amount of sense. I had known for along time that my personal and professional conversations were less successful than they should have been, but I didn't know why. By clearly delineating the requirements for a successful, mutually beneficial conversation, "Crucial Conversations" identified for me the key steps that I needed to take on my own to hold more successful conversations in which both the other party and I could find a way to achieve at least some of what we wanted. Even more than that, "Crucial Conversations" helped me to understand why so much of what other people said during emotionally charged conversations bothered me. It's impossible, of course, to change someone else's behavior, but by understanding the reasons for what they say, I have found it possible to alter my own behavior to make it safer for them to converse in a mutually beneficial way. Most interesting, I thought, was the way in which "Crucial Conversations" highlights the way in which most of us quickly resort to either silence or violence in conversations. Just by naming these behaviors, the book can make each of us more conscious of the way we current converse with others -- and of how we should talk if we want to get more of what we want. I can honestly say that "Crucial Conversations" has made a night-and-day difference in my ability to communicate effectively with others. I strongly recommend it to anyone who finds his or her conversations with those closest to them less satisfying than they might like. A true life-changer!
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Summary: These techniques really work!
Review: I bought this book after undergoing a first, miserable mediation session with my soon-to-be-exhusband. The stakes are high--it's our property settlement, and my husband had been cashing out the savings and spending them, while leaving me to take care of the 2 mortgages and other obligations. It was easy, but not very productive, to point out where I felt he was wrong. I started reading Crucial Conversations and using the tools as well as I could, while watching our mediator model them. I stopped participating in the accuse/counter-accuse game, and focused on bringing information to the table, while I used the crucial conversation tools to keep our discussions productive. The book starts out with a self-assessment to determine your own communications strengths and weaknesses. My biggest faux-pas with my husband was to cause Respect violations. The CC tools gave me a usable set of actions to take to set things back on track:
* Apologize (I'm sorry if that sounded disrespectful.)
* Contrast (I don't want to make you out to be the bad guy, I'm just concerned that I won't have any funds left to cover the emergencies.)
* CRIB
- Commit to seek mutual purpose (I'll stay in this process as long as it takes for us to reach agreement.)
- Recognize the purpose behind his strategy (It's understandable that you're unhappy with our situation and that you're trying to do something to feel better.)
- Invent a mutual purpose (I want us both to be happy and secure after the divorce.)
- Brainstorm new strategies (Maybe we can just focus on the numbers for now, and put off worrying about how we're going to divide things until later. Using these tools has kept the dialogue moving forward, and we're very close to agreement, after just two more sessions. The Crucial Conversations tools won't change another person who's determined to be unreasonable into a perfectly cooperative person, but they will give you a sane way to stay in dialogue and still hold the other person accountable for his or her own irrational attitudes and behavior. I think this book is a must-have for anyone who has had a hard time dealing with conflict. I'll be reaching for it again, I know.
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Summary: I am not entirely sold on this one
Review: I bought this book because: 1) I want to be better in communication (in general) and; 2) it had great reviews (Steve Covey!!). I finished it in 4 days and must say I was not all that impressed.
It reads like a text-book in that they (the authors) are always asking us to apply some new system of operation. They remind us that one reading is not enough and much time must be spent in mastering their principles. The principles do appear correct, well considered, and are clearly proposed. They are certainly getting back to the basics of communication and there are a few wonderful revelations (but nothing earth shattering).
Further, the book has a behavioral science/study feel to it but no footnotes or extensive referencing is made. The case studies are general and simple- the examples throughout the book are slightly feeble and even more simple. I was continually bothered in reading a book based on years of "research" which was void of notated study/notes/details. In the end, it lacks experiemental conviction and convincing.
I appreciated the effort made to present information and models in simple ways. I appreciate the motivational tone of the book. But, I was seeking something new and exciting- some earth shattering information based on years of study.
In the end, this book is a simplistic discussion of healthy dialogue which is presented in clever models. It is not a page turner!!
Its greatest flaw is the absence of solid case study or examples; its greatest strength is its simple presentation and kind tone.
There has got to be better texts available on the subject....
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Summary: Exceptional, insightful guidance for bright leaders
Review: I have followed the work of Joseph, Kerry and Ron for years and they just keep getting smarter and giving better, more insightful, more practical guidance. This work is easily digestible, funny and absolutely stolen from every day life in business. In my view, one of the things that just kills organizational vitality is a shared inability to deal with the tough stuff that grows between us: performance issues, strategic differences of opinion, mission shift, contentious relationships, etc. "Crucial Conversations" is just a great guide for how to address difficult issues and how to create an environment where others can do it, too. This book is just terrific.
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Summary: Crucial Conversations - Crucial Results
Review: I have read Crucial Conversations cover to cover 4 times now. The results in my business and my marriage have been amazing. The book is well written and easy to understand. It teaches step by step skills to help you master the content. Before reading this book, I thought influential people possessed a natural ability to effectively handle conflict. After reading the book, I now realize that there are specific skill sets that anyone can learn (and master) to effectively deal with these "High Stake," "Strong Emotions," and "Opposing Opinion" conversations. My confidence and productivity has increased in every area of my life (My business has increased by 30%-50% since I read the book the first time) and I am now effectively handling conversations with my wife that once caused constant upset. I would recommend this book for anyone 1) wanting increased results and 2) willing to have a profound breakthrough in how they communicate. It has made a profound difference for me.
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