Rating: 
Summary: A Journey Through TBI, HMOs and Changed Family Dynamics
Review: Okay, the title snared me, but this little book is not about either mangos or princesses, but rather about traumatic brain injury (TBI) and its effect on the author and her family. Ms. Crimmins sketches a gritty, brutally candid and knowledgeable tale of what happens when her husband is terribly injured in a boating accident. I would label this book a must read for anyone dealing with TBI, as well as for all of us who will probably come upon it in some form at some time or another. "Imagine a world where the library is intact, but the librarian has gone insane." When something terrible happens in a family, the dynamics that made that family what it was, can and do disappear forever - and what's left is a far shot from what we bargained for. The book is not warm or fuzzy or inspirational or spiritual, the characters are not always very likeable, but the insights are very personal and true, from her own admittedly stupid mistakes to simple miscalculations, and the reactions of folks who can't or won't understand brain injury. Ms. Crimmins not only writes of their personal journey through the maze of TBI, but the entire medical support/non-support systems that are in place and how "Managed Care" is a silly oxymoron that is being sold to us to insure [no] care when we most need it. The transfer of her husband from the Canadian hospital to the US left me gasping - simply incomprehensible and inexcusable. The responses of the HMO were sobering and agonizing and maybe even criminal? Crimmins says "I fantasize about roasting the executives [of HMOs] on a spit, then taking them down and throwing a few Band-Aids and a jar of Vaseline at them: 'Here's the treatment - this is what we've authorized for first-degree burns under your plan.'" Read this book for first hand knowledge and understanding.
Rating:
Summary: A Wonderful Book
Review: This is a wonderful book. I read it in one sitting and found myself moved to tears many times. The book shares the experience of coping with a loved one's severe brain injury and recovery process. It deals with what it's like to be with someone whose personality, whose "self," has been altered and in many ways diminished. The book explores the question: What does it mean to love someone? We have the idea that we love another person, particularly our spouse, based on the totality of who that person is: character, personality, our shared experiences with them, etc. This memoir gives lie to that notion. In reality, loving is the process we go through in being with and caring for another person. I am grateful to Cathy Crimmins for allowing me to be reminded of this truth without having to experience the lesson first-hand.
Rating:
Summary: It opened my eyes and warmed my heart
Review: When someone close to you suffers an accident, and ends up in a hospital bed in a coma, the world around you collapses. This happened to us on April 6th 2003, when Mickey was involved in a car accident and was in a coma for over 2 months. This book has been incredibly helpful. It contains a lot of priceless information, information you CAN understand, complementing it with loads of personal experiences.
Thanks to the very easy language (it can be read as a novel) it has allowed everyone in my family to understand and accept the choices and changes we wnet though and are still going through with a TBI survivor. It has also helped us understand and help Mickey in his recovery process. I have cried and laughed on endless nights with this book.
I have underlined passages and read them over and over (something I dont do very often)
I have shared this book with the rest of my family, friends, Mickeys friends and caregivers and even some doctors.... Thank you Cathy Crimmins for helping US stay confident, focused, and happy.... This book opened my eyes and warmed my heart. To anyone going through this terrible ordeal... there IS HOPE at the end. Dont despair!
Rating: 
Summary: Moving, thoughtful, if unsatisfying personal account
Review: Where is the Mango Princess? is a truly touching but tragic account of Traumatic Brian Injury (TBI) and its impact on a family. As much as I respect Anne Lamont, I wonder at her comment, at least as it appears on the book cover blurb, that this is a story of `recovery.' What exactly has been recovered? And how redemptive has this been in the lives of Cathy Crimmins and her husband Alan? Surely Cathy has had to address her once `hands-off' approach to marriage and has chosen to become a truly sacrificial wife, in the process shedding much of the enlightened independence she had so highly prized. In this way, she has somehow backed into a richer `covenantal' attitude to her husband (reflected in the traditional vows she, no doubt, took). She is living much more for him, even when he does not appreciate it, realize it, or have as much to offer in return. The picture is sad but beautiful, and highly instructive. Her world is a far more blessed place as a result of her response to this tragedy.
And yet, has she `recovered?' What exactly did she `lose' and what does she have back now? Her `wellness?' Her `humanity?' Maybe it is his that is recovered? I am not sure. Because her beautiful story remains largely fruitless for her life. After much struggle, she has learned to `cope.' Her story, filled with potential power, is ultimately a lovely tragedy.
This is instructive to anyone who might seek to minister to someone who has suffered TBI and to their family. I have ministered to a few, and wish I had read in advance the Mango Princess (particularly through the lens of chapter 5 of Edward Welch's Blame it on the Brain). I think of one person in particular. Looking back I realize neither she nor I coped with the results of her injury adequately. I did not really understand the ways her injury legitimately impacted her, because it was clear that she was being so willfully selfish and hurtful. And she in turn wanted to blame her sin completely on her injury. The big issue I wish I had seen better in the past: her TBI did create some very significant hidden weaknesses that needed to be recognized and accounted for in trying to help her deal with her struggles.
Families in these circumstances face special heart obstacles, as Crimmins so thoughtfully illustrates. Like Alan, the victims very often heal outwardly in a short time, causing the families frustration at not seeing a similar recovery in their mental, emotional and behavioral issues. He is walking again; he is talking again; his wound is healed up; he looks all better; so why can't he start acting more like he used to? He's not a vegetable, and he can seem like his `old self' sometimes, so why does he have to acts so impulsive or socially inappropriate? Why is his sense of humor so `weird?' Why doesn't he respond to things the way we used to (reasoning, prayer)? And if so, why can't they just do some surgery or give him a pill that will `fix' him?
The real physical impact of the injury needs to be understood if the mundane duties of living are to be carried forward, and if the heart of the person and his family and friends are to be challenged to greater spiritual maturity. Perhaps the hardest thing to grapple with (something Crimmins seems to miss) is the truth that the best explanation of post-injury behavior is pre-injury character (See Ed Welch, p. 90). Welch suggests the difficult but potentially liberating truth that, "The cognitive impairments of those who were previously committed to biblical living will rarely lead to the same frustrating changes that are obvious in those who were not" (p. 90). That the injury can act as `truth serum' to its victim can be revealing to those ministering to him. It can be deeply discouraging, but it also can be redemptively potent as people gain more open access to what was truly in the person's heart all along.
TBI calls for special care and love. A superficial attitude by loved ones can unwittingly contribute to the complex problems.
Crimmins provides a very thoughtful, sensitive, moving (if somewhat unsatisfying) account of her own deep experience.
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