Rating: 
Summary: great rational to get divorcenow
Review: hey melody beattie! thanx for your explicit rational in getting a divorce now. today's society has made a mockery of marriage. i've never agreed with the concept of marriage and commitment but since i am co-dependant i thought that marriage was a good thing. after reading your book, i must agree marriage and commitment are only signs of weakness. i could have used a surrogate mother or suggested a sperm donor to my EX wife but didn't know that i had a problem with commitment until i read your book.
i am so glad that i am divorced now and recognize that i will never get married again since i would not want to practice "interdependency" with anyone ever again. you should be so proud for condemning marriage and commitment.
thank you for your help in rationalizing the end to my marriage. i will recommend your book to anyone who is having the slightest problems n their marriage or who is even considering getting married at all.
i agree, why get married or respect anyone but yourself. after all people just have big problems and then end up dieing anyway. i feel so great about my divorce after reading your book.
my EX spouse is just a lousy human with problems that i did not want to deal with. now i can just go home every night to my mother, who i now live with (she is divorced 4 times and feels great about each one since she has read your book too) and i don't have to deal with any social pressures at all.
thank you! you should be so proud to putting a rational end to marriage. just as a suggestion, maybe you could write a book for gay couples who need to get a divorce too!!!!
it's like the book 'the art of war.' it says to pick your battles. pick only te ones you can win.
yes, i'm still contolling. it's just that i can controll my mother and my daughter much easier than trying to contoll my spouse too! you are totally right! if i am going to controll then i should olnly control my 5 yr old and my 55 yr old. great concept.
who needs a spouse! jeeze i should have met you years ago!!! my child doesn't need two parents. she just needs one that she can't manipulate at all!
you are so great! i would sugest writing a new book on living completely free from other humans all together.
anyway, good luck to you and your crusade to find others who will join you in you admonishemnt of marriage!
thanx again. i would have felt guilty for the rest of my day for my divorce. the truth is, i never wanted to get married in the first place. i just thought it would be a better in-roads to conrolling the relationship to get what i wanted. i wanted a boy, but after reading your book i am learning to acept my faults for tryng to contoll the sex of my child too!
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Summary: BREAKING THE CHAINS OF CODEPENDENCY
Review: As a counsellor with thirty years experience, I can assure you that, contrary to what at least one other reviewer has indicated, loving yourself is NOT easy for everyone. If life was that simple, counsellor's case loads would be much lighter and the world a much happier place. This book is an excellent starting point and great self-help book for those who are codependent. It is not simply a matter of "starting to love yourself," but a matter of going back through the years, generally to the formative years of childhood, and discovering why you have developed the need to be codependent. In other words, it helps to know where you came from before mapping a route to where you are going. I did find the book made considerable reference to drug and alcohol addiction. While that is a major form of codependency, it is not the only form, but others received less priority. For that reason, the book lost a star in the rating. "Codependent No More" is written in an honest, straight-forward manner; therefore, if it evokes anger or negativism in the reader, it is likely because the reader sees at least a partial reflection of themself in the book. Like any self-help book, the advice given only works if the individual is prepared to make long-term changes and has the commitment to work at the root of the problem. For those who are codependent to a minor degree, this book provides helpful insight on how to deal with the problem; however, if the problem is a more serious one, opting for professional counselling is likely still the best course of action. Often old habits are difficult to change on one's own. Freeing yourself from the chains of codependency can result in newfound freedom, peace of mind and a happier, less stressful lifestyle. I do recommend this book for the valuable information it contains.
Rating: 
Summary: Don't Be Like Carol
Review: I have read a couple of Melody Beattie's books at the insistence of my ex-girlfriend, who, unfortunately, is not too bright. First, Carol joined AA and got that weird smug look on her face - instead of going out and being with her real friends, she became addicted to the meetings! If she got upset because she was late for work, suddenly her "alcoholism" was to blame. By the way, I only saw her drunk twice in the two years we went out - hardly an alcoholic, although definitely not too tightly wrapped.
Then, she decided she was codependent, and of course so was I, and now she had more pseudo-science to spout. She became unbearable and I dumped her ass. She still doesn't follow through on any plans, she still is inconsiderate and rude - these cult beliefs haven't done anything but given her all kinds of made up diseases to take responsibility for her bad actions.
Glad I have moved on and don't have to read this silly stuff anymore.
Rating:
Summary: Be careful! This book will strip your emotional well-being.
Review: I read this book in my 20s and it helped me quite a bit with dealing with the issues I had being an adult child of alcholic parents. It was suggested that I read it again by a psychologist because I am going through a divorce from a man that doesn't express his emotions well. At 40, the reading this time took me to the GATES OF HELL! I started questioning myself and who I actually was. It took my best friend to remind me that I wasn't all the things that my STBX was saying I was. His goal is to hurt me anyway that he can. As I said this book did help me in my 20s, but now as a 40 year old woman who has already dealt with her upbringing, it really messed me up for a few days. JUST BE CAREFUL.
Rating: 
Summary: Definitely Worth a Read
Review: If you have codependency issues, this is the bible for codependency issues. Start reading and start caring for yourself and stop letting others manipulate you. Learn to let go.
Rating:
Summary: Looking for how to change? Get this book.
Review: Many books have been written on growing up in an alcoholic or otherwise destructive house. While it is important as a first step to know how some of our bad habits and attitudes get developed (the "why"), it is CRITICAL to know the "how": how can we recognize them in ourselves, to challenge our faulty thinking, to implement healthy strategies for interacting with others (and ourselves). This book is fantastic in the whys and the hows. I suspect many of you who read it will say things out loud as you read as I did, such as "Yes!", "So true!", etc. when you see yourself in the descriptions she gives. I was so impressed with this book, immediately after I finished it I ordered "The Language of Letting Go": daily readings to help stay on the right track. I have gone to counseling, read books on cognitive therapy and several other self-help books, but this book is by far the most helpful. I finally GET IT: I didn't know I was codependent. This book helped me diagnose it, then provided prescriptions to facilitate recovery. Ready to change? Get this book.
Rating:
Summary: Best CODA book out there
Review: Once again Beattie tops the list on self-help books and the subject of codependency. Very to the point on CODA issues and why we act and re-act to the point of being miserable in our lives.
She list many of the behaviors and the results they produce. Now it all makes sense and I understand why those behaviors did NOT work, for myself or others.
I bought this book in 1990 it was excellent then and I am sure the revised copy is excellent now. Great for a gift to someone. Would buy many times over.
Rating: 
Summary: Are you a former child? Yes? Then read this book!
Review: So far as I can tell, very few people could ever read this book without taking something positive away from it. And you don't have to be the product of a broken home, child abuse, neglect, or other serious trauma to see how the machinery of codependency tweaks your life; always for the worse. Having read other peoples' reviews, I'm not sure where some of the negative "cult" comments come from. But I do know that I am halfway through this book and I am very impressed. I'm not from an abusive, alcoholic, or otherwise chemically shattered family. I have good parents and I had a good childhood. Just the same, even good parents and a good childhood are no guarantee against developing unhealthy relationship habits, as well as damaging internal emotional processes. If you're like me, you shy away from "self help" literature because it all seems way too touchy-feely. I don't see myself as a victim, and I refuse to adopt the victim mentality. But nobody gives parents a rule book on setting healthy emotional boundaries with their kids, and kids that grow up in a home without healthy emotional boundaries become adults without healthy emotional boundaries. This can really get you into trouble when you start trying to form a family of your own, and is the reason why I sought out this book with urgency. Does it seem like your hapiness is too connected to how other people live their lives? Do you get really upset and depressed because those whom you love engage in behavior you see as risky or damaging? Feel powerless to stop your loved one from using or abusing mind altering substances? Tired of always feeling like "the bad guy" when you're just trying to get your partner to "be good"? Has your own social circle dwindled or vanished, so that now only your partner and his/her friends are 'your' social group? Would you like to know why it's so hard to get out of bed every morning, and why you spend so much time worrying about that certain person in your life, while worrying too little about yourself? Codependency is not a catch-all problem, nor is it remedied over night. But I'd dare say that at least half or more of American adults--indeed adults across the entire world--struggle with some form of codependent behavior. And if you want a deeper insight into this problem, what it is, what it is not, and how it messes with your life, then read this book, and gain strength from understanding.
Rating:
Summary: Beattie is a Recovery Beauty!!
Review: This author is one of the most honest, insightful, and thoughtful writers in the world of recovery. I own a copy of each of her books. You are encouraged and blessed with each chapter. I refer to her codependency books frequently to remind myself what getting better is all about. Thanks, Melody!
Rating:
Summary: An must read for those seeking release from co-dependency.
Review: This book describes anyone who is in any kind of co-dependent relationship. It opens your eyes to the real you, what makes you tick, why you tick that way and how to heal yourself. It focuses on how to change your life from chaos to happiness, restoring sanity and begin liking and even loving yourself. It opens your eyes to the types of behaviour patterns we exhibit which actually make these co-dependent relationships even more chaotic. Painfully honest. It will restore hope, give encouragement and incentive to those who seek healing in their lives from the pain of being involved in a relationship with an addicted person.
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