Prenups for Lovers: A Romantic Guide to Prenuptial Agreements

Rating:
Summary: Must reading for any man about to get married.
Review: .

I hesistate to write this because every woman that reads this will react emotionally and not logically to what I have to write. Ladies please think about what is important here. Do you want your marriage to last, or do you want to take all your husbands money? Be fair and think long-term.

Prenuptials provide stability, ensure longevity and communication, define expectations in marriage and contigency plans in the event of divorce with respect to finanical,and child custody issues.

Statistics show that nearly 60% of US marraiges end in divorce. Sensible laws created in the 1930's to protect non-working housewives have, in modern times, become out of date today, giving women an overwhelming advantage in divorce, without the stigma divorce created in the past. Marriage has become a win-win situation where the woman wins in a successful marraige and also wins in a divorce. This is the root cause of the high divorce rate. Pre-nuptials are contracts signed before marriage to ensure fairness for both parties in the event of divorce. They also enhance communication on critical issues that provide stability in marriage.

Fair: I personally think marraiges should last a lifetime. However, marriage is one thing that requires two people to make it last. Given that divorce is something that does happen, the most that can be done is to see that it is fair to both parties. A prenuptial, signed prior to marriage, ensures the agreement is fair to both people.

Longevity and Communication: What is the solution to make marraiges last? The answer is communication. Pre-nuptial agreements ensure communication on important topics takes place before marriage by forcing disclosure and discussion of financial and other matters, and defines how assets will be distributed in a divorce. Some women don't like pre-nuptials because it takes away the overwhelming financial advantage women have in marraiges without pre-nuptial agreements. Other women wisely see this sort of communication strengthens a marriage. If a relationship can't stand the scrutiny of a pre-nuptial, then it is bound the fail eventually.

Expectations: One cause of conflict in a marriage is violated expectations. Pre-nuptials define each person's expectations in advance. Most people, when they know what the other expects, can either meet that expectation, or else discuss it in advance if it can't be met, which makes it is easier to digest. Expectation can be the number of children or other issues.

Stability: It is common practice for husbands, good or bad, to be robbed financially by their wives in divorce. Many women fail to satisfy their husbands. For whatever reason the marriage fails, there is a huge finanical incentive for a woman to get divorced from a man with assets gained prior to the marraige. Pre-nuptials prevent women from gaining an unfair financial advantage over men. No woman deserves half a man's assets after a few months of marriage. This does happen today to men, and women too, without prenuptial agreements. Pre-nuptials also define clearly a man's responsibilites in the event of a divorce in advance of marraige.

Child Custody: Prenuptials are used to present child custody issues in advance of any divorce. This is an area where some women spitefully use their children to strike back at their former husbands. Children should not be chess pawns to manipulate and be hurtfull to a former spouse. Husbands are entitled to share child custody.

If you plan to get married, take the time to get to know your partner, discuss in detail you plans for the future, and prepare a pre-nuptial in advance to define your financial situation, goals, and expectations. Once written down, it is not something that can be argued about later. Things said years ago can be denied. There is no denying a signature and written documentation.

Once again, I feel that marraige should be entered into with an objective of making it last a lifetime. It is easy to bail out of a marriage. It happens often, you have to plan for the worst case. But if you communicate prior to marraige, and find disagreement, you can either choose to accept the agreement, or find someone else. Those who communicate their goals and expectations early have a higher chance of a successful marraige.

Rating:
Summary: Must reading for any man about to get married.
Review: .

I hesistate to write this because every woman that reads this will react emotionally and not logically to what I have to write. Ladies please think about what is important here. Do you want your marriage to last, or do you want to take all your husbands money? Be fair and think long-term.

Prenuptials provide stability, ensure longevity and communication, define expectations in marriage and contigency plans in the event of divorce with respect to finanical,and child custody issues.

Statistics show that nearly 60% of US marraiges end in divorce. Sensible laws created in the 1930's to protect non-working housewives have, in modern times, become out of date today, giving women an overwhelming advantage in divorce, without the stigma divorce created in the past. Marriage has become a win-win situation where the woman wins in a successful marraige and also wins in a divorce. This is the root cause of the high divorce rate. Pre-nuptials are contracts signed before marriage to ensure fairness for both parties in the event of divorce. They also enhance communication on critical issues that provide stability in marriage.

Fair: I personally think marraiges should last a lifetime. However, marriage is one thing that requires two people to make it last. Given that divorce is something that does happen, the most that can be done is to see that it is fair to both parties. A prenuptial, signed prior to marriage, ensures the agreement is fair to both people.

Longevity and Communication: What is the solution to make marraiges last? The answer is communication. Pre-nuptial agreements ensure communication on important topics takes place before marriage by forcing disclosure and discussion of financial and other matters, and defines how assets will be distributed in a divorce. Some women don't like pre-nuptials because it takes away the overwhelming financial advantage women have in marraiges without pre-nuptial agreements. Other women wisely see this sort of communication strengthens a marriage. If a relationship can't stand the scrutiny of a pre-nuptial, then it is bound the fail eventually.

Expectations: One cause of conflict in a marriage is violated expectations. Pre-nuptials define each person's expectations in advance. Most people, when they know what the other expects, can either meet that expectation, or else discuss it in advance if it can't be met, which makes it is easier to digest. Expectation can be the number of children or other issues.

Stability: It is common practice for husbands, good or bad, to be robbed financially by their wives in divorce. Many women fail to satisfy their husbands. For whatever reason the marriage fails, there is a huge finanical incentive for a woman to get divorced from a man with assets gained prior to the marraige. Pre-nuptials prevent women from gaining an unfair financial advantage over men. No woman deserves half a man's assets after a few months of marriage. This does happen today to men, and women too, without prenuptial agreements. Pre-nuptials also define clearly a man's responsibilites in the event of a divorce in advance of marraige.

Child Custody: Prenuptials are used to present child custody issues in advance of any divorce. This is an area where some women spitefully use their children to strike back at their former husbands. Children should not be chess pawns to manipulate and be hurtfull to a former spouse. Husbands are entitled to share child custody.

If you plan to get married, take the time to get to know your partner, discuss in detail you plans for the future, and prepare a pre-nuptial in advance to define your financial situation, goals, and expectations. Once written down, it is not something that can be argued about later. Things said years ago can be denied. There is no denying a signature and written documentation.

Once again, I feel that marraige should be entered into with an objective of making it last a lifetime. It is easy to bail out of a marriage. It happens often, you have to plan for the worst case. But if you communicate prior to marraige, and find disagreement, you can either choose to accept the agreement, or find someone else. Those who communicate their goals and expectations early have a higher chance of a successful marraige.

Rating:
Summary: Great and Helpful Look at Misunderstood Topic
Review: Arlene Dubin makes premarital agreements, and the reasons to have one, easy to understand for all readers. She takes a look at the objections many people have to a prenup and explains clearly why a prenup can be stabilizing to a marriage. The book is well-written and fun to read, too, mixing in real-world examples. It's always terrific when an author can take a topic seriously without being too serious. Ms. Dubin does it.

Rating:
Summary: Great and Helpful Look at Misunderstood Topic
Review: Arlene Dubin makes premarital agreements, and the reasons to have one, easy to understand for all readers. She takes a look at the objections many people have to a prenup and explains clearly why a prenup can be stabilizing to a marriage. The book is well-written and fun to read, too, mixing in real-world examples. It's always terrific when an author can take a topic seriously without being too serious. Ms. Dubin does it.

Rating:
Summary: A Gem More Valuable Than Your Engagement Ring
Review: This is a gem of a book that helps you navigate financial discussions in a compassionate yet business-like manner. Arlene Dubin informs her readers WHY issues are important and shows them HOW to initiate discussions based upon common values and shared goals. After a couple finds they are on the same page, the dollars involved and technical know-how can be inserted into the dialogue.

I have practised as a Certified Financial Planner for 18 years, and send this book to clients and allied professionals. It is eminently readable, but does not dumb-down a subject that is important to anyone contemplating marriage.

Rating:
Summary: A Gem More Valuable Than Your Engagement Ring
Review: This is a gem of a book that helps you navigate financial discussions in a compassionate yet business-like manner. Arlene Dubin informs her readers WHY issues are important and shows them HOW to initiate discussions based upon common values and shared goals. After a couple finds they are on the same page, the dollars involved and technical know-how can be inserted into the dialogue.

I have practised as a Certified Financial Planner for 18 years, and send this book to clients and allied professionals. It is eminently readable, but does not dumb-down a subject that is important to anyone contemplating marriage.

Rating:
Summary: A book everyone should read
Review: This reviewer's first reaction to this reference book was: "I'm married almost a quarter of a century, why would I bother to read a non-fiction centering on prenuptial agreements?" I went in for a taste and completed PRENUPS FOR LOVERS. After reading Arlene G. Dublin's guidebook, I realized that I not only learned a lot, but changed my mind about prenups. This tome should be must reading for anyone (either gender) thinking of getting married. Ms. Dublin debunks the non-romanticism that makes the prenup seem more like a cold business contract by emphasizing the importance of honest discussions on finances, future goals, and the consideration that each partner expects from the marriage. There are numerous tips with an index that helps the user focus on a particular topic and an easy to use sample prenup. The bottom line is that this helpful book does more than just coldly protect assets, which is important. It reminds couples that communication is the key to keeping a marriage from ending with a divorce decree and that should start before the "I Do".

Harriet Klausner

Rating:
Summary: Take the Pain out of your Prenup
Review: What a joy. I never expected a book on prenuptial agreements to be so entertaining and easy-to-read. This is a user-friendly handbook that is warm, witty and well-written. Dubin takes the stigma and mystique out of prenuptial agreements and makes them compelling and commonsensical, increasing the chances of a happy marriage. In the long run, Dubin argues, a prenup protects romance because it grounds a marriage in realistic expectations. Drawing on legal, financial and psychological sources, she completely covers her subject, including a chapter on how to pop the "P" word and how to repsond if you are on the receiving end. Throughout the book, she presents real-life situations, anecdotal materials and individual profiles and she intersperses examples of celebrity and historical prenups. She puts a very human face on prenups, even printing her own agreement. Stressing that both parties must obtain a benefit, Dubin shows how to create a fair, balanced, and loving agreement in a stop-by-step handbook. She forcibly argues that all couples should put the prenup to bed before they wed--and predicts that prenups will become standard in the 21st centruy. If you read PRENUPS FOR LOVERS, it will open your eyes to a totally misunderstood area of our culture. Great gift-giving for an about-to-be-engaged couple, or those living together who are contemplating taking the next step.