Rating: 
Summary: It makes you think...
Review: ...and any book that can do that is worth something. The authors have focused their descriptions on the most common problem behaviors. The most striking thing you will see in the book is your own behavior. You will recognize a bit of yourself in this book. Problem people will be less evil to you and appear more human as you understand what is motivating the behavior. Seeing them as basically good is a wonderful way to deal with people. Read this book and see problem people for who they are and the ally they can become.
Rating: 
Summary: Some sound advice and a variety of flaws
Review: Dr. Rick Brinkman and Dr. Rick Kirschner are Naturopathic physicians who wrote the book, Dealing with People You Can't Stand, with good intentions of helping people identify and deal with the 10 most difficult behaviors.
Effective communication is key to successfully dealing with difficult behaviors. Good examples of effective communication are given in chapter 4. One communication technique is Blending. Dr. Rick & Dr. Rick state "Blending is any behavior by which you reduce the differences between you and another in order to meet them where they are and move to common ground." Another strong point of this book are the illustrations of the Lens of Understanding. They are throughout the book and are very helpful. The Lens of Understanding illustrations help you to see the organizational framework. The illustrations are formatted to resemble the cross hairs of a scope on a rifle. They are an effective visual aide. One of the weak areas are the typographical errors. There are several throughout the book. One example is on page xii. The period after the 2 is missing. Another typo is on page 118, in paragraph three. The word when is spelled ohen. Another weak aspect is contradiction. For example in the Introduction Dr. Rick & Dr. Rick tell you that the difficult person will change. Their statement "While you can't change difficult people, you can communicate with them in such a way that they change themselves. It's a matter of knowing how to get through to them when they're behaving badly.", contradicts itself in several places throughout the book. The authors tell you that you better adjust your attitude. One example of this is on page 68. The heading is in bold lettering and states "You Better Adjust Your Attitude." They tell you to watch your emotions when dealing with a Tank. On page 201, Dr. Rick & Dr. Rick give more contradicting advice. In the seventh ounce of prevention, they tell you to beware of multitasking when on the telephone. Then in the eighth
ounce of prevention they tell you to use your phone time to catch up on personal hygiene.
Errors and contradictions aside this book helped me to have a better insight to what makes some people tick.
This helps me communicate more effectively, thus taking some of the stress out of my life.
Rating: 
Summary: excellent reference
Review: I was actually required to read this book for a college leadership class. I found it to be an excellent resource and I would recommend this book to anyone. It has many implications dealing with leadership, but you do not need to be a leader to find this book helpful.
Rating:
Summary: excellent reference
Review: I was actually required to read this book for a college leadership class. I found it to be an excellent resource and I would recommend this book to anyone. It has many implications dealing with leadership, but you do not need to be a leader to find this book helpful.
Rating:
Summary: Most Helpful Guide I've Found
Review: I was giving a workshop for people who were starting or re-entering the workforce for a graduate program in mental health. I did extensive research in our extensive school library, including books and periodicals. This was, by far, the most useful source of information that I found. It would be useful for anyone from an entry level worker to a top executive. It identifies the 10 "most difficult" types of people, and gives clear, step-by-step strategies for dealing with them. It also gives general advice for better communications. The advice is profound, yet written so anyone can understand, with narrative examples of the difficult behaviors.
My workshop was very successful, and I highly recommend this book.
Rating:
Summary: The best conflict book for managers PERIOD
Review: If you're a manager and have to deal with the day to day complaints and conflicts of a workplace, this is the best book I've read about it, without question.
I'm a leadership consultant and my firm spends a lot of time mediating conflicts and facilitating meetings where I have to get people on the same page. I have formal training in negotation, and mediation, and all that other more formal stuff. And a lot of it works. But the question I get asked over and over again is "what do I do when the conflict doesn't justify outside assistance? What about the DAY TO DAY conflicts - one of my people refuses to bend her schedule, another won't come in on time, another won't try to work with a sister department, my boss won't give me the resources I need." Well, this is that book. It lays out a simple concept of conflict (other people see things differently from you and therefore act differently), and then does something that SO FEW of the other books do: it tells you exactly what to say and how to say it. I have had my fill of books which tell me to "be nice" or "work towards a compromise". My response is, I know that, but how do I DO that? How do I keep the other person from popping off at me? THIS BOOK does that. It's simple - exactly right for line managers with DAY to DAY conflicts.
Rating:
Summary: A very good guide for your psychology and career
Review: The authors have identified ten types of difficult people and provided respective action plans when dealing with them. To sum up, the general principle is that you need to be considerate and patient. When you are facing conflict, always remind yourselves: "100 years from now, what difference will it make?" Although it is a short book, it offers useful advice plus many real-life examples to readers. While it is self-helping in nature, the methods outlined would likely boost your career. It should be used together with Andrew Dubrin's 'Winning Office Politics' for those interested in surviving in office politics.
Rating: 
Summary: Sorry, Can't Stand You
Review: The book is simply written, with very few if any difficult theories or ideas put forth. The theories presented should easily be understood by most any reader, as it mostly rehashes lessons taught to most people by their parents. That is pay attention to people and deal with them calmly and rationally. Brinkman and Kirschner do tend to fall into a lot of pop psychology, which I guess fits this type of book, but tended to annoy this reader. From the very beginning the doctors failed to engage me, they did not give me a reason to care to use these strategies on very many people. Given their backgrounds in holistic healing and naturopathic medicine, it would seem logical that they would have informed us of the health benefits enjoyed by eliminating stressful people from our lives. Instead this reader found it difficult to relate to any of the proposed situations in anything more than a professional setting. Because of that, this book would make an excellent blueprint on how to manipulate people on your way up the ladder of success. Each chapter was well organized, most beginning with a story that depicted that particular chapters theme. The authors then laid out a step-by-step guide to dealing with this type of difficult individual. It seems a bit naïve to think that one strategy will work for each of the personality types. Some may find it difficult to proceed with the given advice, and therefore it would have been nice to see some alternative strategies given. This would give the reader greater flexibility when dealing with his or her particular difficult person. Not only were the suggestions limited, often times they seemed quite simplistic, almost as though Brinkman and Kirschner believe that people are machines and simply by pushing the right buttons or saying the magic pop psychology phrase we can control anyone. Seldom does it work that way in real life. This tendency is clearly seen in the stories at the end of each chapter. Again Brinkman and Kirschner introduce us to some people in conflict. One character is a difficult person and the other employs the strategies spelled out by the authors. After the techniques are used, it is almost like magic that the difficult person begins to cooperate. Now this would be acceptable as a way to make your point, but often we are led to believe that each story is a recount of a real-life occurrence. So, unless the authors have found a real life magic bullet, they have lost a lot of credibility with this reader.
Another reason to look upon this book with suspicion is the fact that the authors apparently want us to believe that all of these ideas were somehow conceived, developed and born of their own brilliant minds. On only two occasions do the refer us to any other sources for the theories put forth in this book, and one of those is another book written by the same men. A book of this type should be able to direct us to other sources to back up the theories presented. As stated earlier, this book is an excellent source for those who wish to manipulate co-workers and business associates, especially the first two-thirds of it. Towards the end though it does become a bit more personal and even more enjoyable to read. The last section of the book is certainly the freshest. Here we get some good advice on proper use and etiquette on the phone and using E-mail.
Rating:
Summary: Sorry, Can't Stand You
Review: The book is simply written, with very few if any difficult theories or ideas put forth. The theories presented should easily be understood by most any reader, as it mostly rehashes lessons taught to most people by their parents. That is pay attention to people and deal with them calmly and rationally. Brinkman and Kirschner do tend to fall into a lot of pop psychology, which I guess fits this type of book, but tended to annoy this reader. From the very beginning the doctors failed to engage me, they did not give me a reason to care to use these strategies on very many people. Given their backgrounds in holistic healing and naturopathic medicine, it would seem logical that they would have informed us of the health benefits enjoyed by eliminating stressful people from our lives. Instead this reader found it difficult to relate to any of the proposed situations in anything more than a professional setting. Because of that, this book would make an excellent blueprint on how to manipulate people on your way up the ladder of success. Each chapter was well organized, most beginning with a story that depicted that particular chapters theme. The authors then laid out a step-by-step guide to dealing with this type of difficult individual. It seems a bit naïve to think that one strategy will work for each of the personality types. Some may find it difficult to proceed with the given advice, and therefore it would have been nice to see some alternative strategies given. This would give the reader greater flexibility when dealing with his or her particular difficult person. Not only were the suggestions limited, often times they seemed quite simplistic, almost as though Brinkman and Kirschner believe that people are machines and simply by pushing the right buttons or saying the magic pop psychology phrase we can control anyone. Seldom does it work that way in real life. This tendency is clearly seen in the stories at the end of each chapter. Again Brinkman and Kirschner introduce us to some people in conflict. One character is a difficult person and the other employs the strategies spelled out by the authors. After the techniques are used, it is almost like magic that the difficult person begins to cooperate. Now this would be acceptable as a way to make your point, but often we are led to believe that each story is a recount of a real-life occurrence. So, unless the authors have found a real life magic bullet, they have lost a lot of credibility with this reader.
Another reason to look upon this book with suspicion is the fact that the authors apparently want us to believe that all of these ideas were somehow conceived, developed and born of their own brilliant minds. On only two occasions do the refer us to any other sources for the theories put forth in this book, and one of those is another book written by the same men. A book of this type should be able to direct us to other sources to back up the theories presented. As stated earlier, this book is an excellent source for those who wish to manipulate co-workers and business associates, especially the first two-thirds of it. Towards the end though it does become a bit more personal and even more enjoyable to read. The last section of the book is certainly the freshest. Here we get some good advice on proper use and etiquette on the phone and using E-mail.
Rating:
Summary: Liberate Yourself from Jerks.
Review: This book has an excellent premise: the only way to deal with difficult people is to change the way you respond to them. Think about it. Do any of us ever do what we want to do all the time? Of course not. How many New Year's resolutions have we broken? Well, if we can't control our own behavior for our own good, how can we control someone else's especially when that person's obnoxious ways satisfies some perverse need? Some books on interpersonal conflict recommend that the reader resort to planning biting comebacks or simply ignoring the offending party. Rick and Rick offer more positive and healthier solutions (such as being more empathetic without being a punching bag) that if implemented will help the reader stay sane when under attack and eventually learn to stay above the fray.
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