Dibs in Search of Self

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Summary: Thank you Virginia Axline!
Review: Virginia, your book touched my life like no other book has...other than the Bible. I discovered myself when I read this book. Finally, after years of emotional confusion, I can express what I am going through emotionally. I now know that my exceptional intelligence has guarded and protected me from the social world around me. I now understand that I must develop my social person as well as my intellectual person. I am needing the "balance" you talked about in your book.I have two very dear nephews that struggle with the same issues that Dibbs does. I have strived to help my nephews develop their intellectual awareness of the world around them. Unfortunately, I have been unable to help my nephews socially integrate with their peers and teachers. My younger nephew gets kicked out of school constantly. Both of my nephews have genius I.Q.'s. They remind me so much of Dibs. I have often wondered the value of such high intelligence. You stated in your book that you had at one point wondered this as well. It seems to me that society and our schools are so unwilling to accept another's gifts...thus quelching talents that were given by God to be a blessing to all. Once again, Virginia, Thank You For This Book and for your hard work that developed these concepts. I would love to hear from you if you should ever read this note. Gratefully, Christina Shields

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Summary: Summary and Review
Review: "Dibs in Search of Self" is the story of a little boy named Dibs and his struggle to open himself up to the world. Dibs has no mental deficiencies, but hardly ever speaks. When Dibs does speak, he speaks very little and speaks of himself in the third or second person. He also doesn’t get along with the other children, biting or scratching those who go near him. He begins to go to play therapy sessions with Miss A. At first, he is afraid but she tells him not to be. During the play sessions, Miss A. sees significant changes in Dibs. He quite often plays with a doll-house family pretending it is his own. Dibs’ father and mother also see changes in him. He begins talking more and more to his parents and responding when they ask him questions. At his school they notice that Dibs plays more with the other children and wants to be included in activities. I enjoyed reading this story immensely and read it every single day. It was a very well written and interesting book to read. I recommend this book to anyone interested in going into child therapy. What surprised me was that it took such little effort to bring out of his shell. He only went to therapy once a week and after three sessions there was already an improvement. This was a little hard to believe for me.

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Summary: "Miracle Cure"
Review: Sorry, but this book just doesn't ring true. A child this severely impaired (read the first two chapters) is not going to be cured in a few months of once-a-week play therapy sessions.
(And contrary to what one reviewer argues, there were at most fifteen to twenty sessions. Dr. Axline evaluates Dibs, meets with his mother, and after a "long and frustrating wait" begins once-a-week therapy. The fourth session was on February 21 (see page 78), and sessions ended when the school year ended for summer vacation.) I can agree the sessions helped with social skills and communication, and that this was important. This in turn seemed to lead to better interactions with his parents, an improvement which was self-perpetuating, and which in turn made all three of them happier. But neurological problems don't go away through play therapy. Whatever the reason for Dibs's recovery (if it actually happened)did not come from play therapy.

Remember, the book was written in 1964. Psychoanalysis was in the air, and Freud was viewed as some sort of guru. Read the popular as well as the psychiatric literature of the time. Implicit in Freudian theory is the notion that psychiatric disorders are rooted in early childhood experience. From this it was a quick (and prevalent) step to blaming one's parents for various neuroses and complexes.

Dr. Axline is clearly a product of her times. A little boy is non-verbal and withdrawn -- what did his parents do to make him lock himself away like this? Read her description of Dibs's tense, defensive mother on page 34. (Note that "the mother" is the only major player in the story who is not even given a name.)

I think of this mother and her pain. She and her husband are wealthy and have taken their son to a number of specialists. The professionals all eventually make clear in one way or another that she is the source of her child's problems. She wonders if they are right, and ponders the ways she might have damaged him ("he was the product of an unwanted pregnancy! It's all my fault!") OF COURSE she is tense and defensive around Dr. Axline (who in fact concurs with the other specialists that Dib's problems stem from her lousy parenting, and probably subtley conveys that attitude).

Those reviewers who read the book with warmth and delight might feel differently if they were the parent of a child like Dibs. And don't kid yourself - - it could happen to anyone. The pain of having a child with severe neuropsychiatric problems is devastating. The public stigmatization that goes along with having a child who never smiles at anyone, has explosive tantrums in public, and doesn't answer when spoken to is something you just have to get used to. Thank God for support groups.

The book is an entertaining and inspiring read for the uninitated, but hurtful to those dealing with an real life mentally ill child. As to those reviewers who are in the psychological profession, don't you think that whatever faint value comes from the pleasure this book brings to the uneducated, (or its teachings on the value of non-judgmental and child directed play) is surely outweighed by all the years of useless but expensive play therapy furnished to autistic children as a result? And how about the stigmatization of the parents that results from this type of literature?

I'm sure I sound like a tense, angry and defensive mother myself at this point! But that's the Catch-22 you find yourself in if you have an autistic child. If you know more about your child than the person treating him, you are seen as rigid, hypercritical and controlling. Medical research you do concerning your son's condition is seen as evidence of your tendency to coldly intellectualize his problems. And if a book like Dibs brings you to tears of frustration and empathy -- well that just shows how emotionally unstable you are. I wish this book would go out of print.

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Summary: Axline AND Dibs' mother are both victims...
Review: ...of an inaccurate perspective. In terms of writing quality and emotional "pull," this book deserves 5 stars. And, like Freud, it is important to read -- in the correct context. Axline was a pioneer of play therapy (for individuals and groups), and I think there is no doubt that it is a fruitful method for interacting with troubled children. In my practice as a psychologist, I have certainly found play therapy to be extremely productive because a) it is the natural "language" of children, and b) it is also one of the most important ways children learn.

So...yes, I believe Dibs (as presented by Axline -- we do have to rely on her description) closely fits the criteria for Asperger's Syndrome, a syndrome on the autistic spectrum where very bright children capable of complex thinking may be quite impaired in basic social, motor and communication skills. And I do believe her therapy with him was very helpful because she provided a model for social interaction, one-on-one (group situations were probably too overwhelming) that allowed him to increase his positive interactions with others (which, in turn, increased their positive response to him).

I sympathize with reviewers who are outraged at the use of "refrigerator mother" theory in the book -- and with the reviewers who experienced the pain of unloving or abusive parents. No, an unloving or uninvolved parent cannot "cause" autism. However, it is also true that no autistic child was ever helped by a lack of love or being locked away from others. What both Axline and many reviewers have not taken into account, though, is the degree to which love between parent and child is developed interactively: Dibs mother blames herself because he was an unwanted child (and Axline agrees with this assessment), but it is clear that people unprepared and unwilling to be parents would need an outgoing, engaging child to "seduce" them into affiliation. Faced with a difficult and unresponsive child, with no experience of nurturing, it is not uncommon for parents to find interacting with their child so aversive that a "refrigerated" relationship develops. (Particularly if, as an astute earlier reviewer noted, one or both of Dibs' parents had ASperger's syndrome.) Dibs' sister, outgoing and charming, allows them to experience "success" as parents, so they, naturally, interact more warmly with her. It might be said not that "rerigerator mothers" cause autism, but that autsim in a child can sometimes lead to refrigerated parents.

It is important to be fair to Axline, I think. If Dibs was at least 15 years old when the book was written, she was working with him in the late 40's or early 50's -- and for her time, she showed considerable compassion for Dibs' parents. Moreover, many reviewers are suspicious of the book, thinking that she claims to have achieved her results in 7-12 sessions. Careful reading shows that Axline worked with Dibs approximately once weekly for nine months. Even allowing for illness and vacations, 30 or so sessions with a highly skilled therapist can support massive change in a young child. I'm inclined to believe that what "worked" for Axline was her modeling of social interactions at a pace slow enough for Dibs to absorb skills that led to positive reinforcement when he used them at home and at school. In addition, I think play therapy would have greatly ameliorated the anguish he undoubtedly experienced at being unloved. In return, his mother was able to feel more successful and therefore more loving, which led to a slow but continual improvement in their relationship.

I have always wanted to hear Dibs' point of view. He would, presumably, be in his mid to late 50's now, and I often wonder how adulthood has been for him, how he remembers Dr. Axline, and what he thinks of this book.

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Summary: Summary and Review
Review: "Dibs in Search of Self" is the story of a little boy named Dibs and his struggle to open himself up to the world. Dibs has no mental deficiencies, but hardly ever speaks. When Dibs does speak, he speaks very little and speaks of himself in the third or second person. He also doesn’t get along with the other children, biting or scratching those who go near him. He begins to go to play therapy sessions with Miss A. At first, he is afraid but she tells him not to be. During the play sessions, Miss A. sees significant changes in Dibs. He quite often plays with a doll-house family pretending it is his own. Dibs’ father and mother also see changes in him. He begins talking more and more to his parents and responding when they ask him questions. At his school they notice that Dibs plays more with the other children and wants to be included in activities. I enjoyed reading this story immensely and read it every single day. It was a very well written and interesting book to read. I recommend this book to anyone interested in going into child therapy. What surprised me was that it took such little effort to bring out of his shell. He only went to therapy once a week and after three sessions there was already an improvement. This was a little hard to believe for me.

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Summary: The Boy Who Would Not Play
Review: What could have caused a 5-year-old child with an IQ of 168 to clam up and stop talking, playing or laughing? Virginia Axline, author of 'Play Therapy' finds out as she records the progress of Dibs in this book that has since become a child therapy classic. A review in Amazon.com held forth that Dibs is autistic, but it is clear to me that he is not. Dibs is a child who deliberately withheld speech and affection as a means of self-defense against his cold, unloving, high- achieving and demanding parents and their battery of tests to prove him gifted. He does not suffer a neurological disorder nor is he autistic.
This remarkably moving and honest book gives credit not to the therapist/author for having worked a miracle, rather, it is the child and his inner strength and resolve that are given praise. The amazingly articulate child acts out his anger through his play of dolls. In a poignant part, Dibs reverses the parent-child role and 'makes' a 'mother' doll build a mountain upon the instruction of the 'boy' doll.
"It is too hard to do," said Dibs. "Nobody can build a mountain. But I'll make her do it. She'll have to build the mountain and do it right. There is a right way and wrong way of doing things and you will do it the right way."
After some thought, he decided he would help the 'mother' and not impose such an onerous task on her. He talks of love and caring for his mother and sister. This shows that Dibs, despite his frustration, fear and anger, has great capacity for compassion, empathy and forgiveness. The therapy sessions with his non-judgmental therapist helped Dibs be aware of his feelings and of matters within and without his control.
Having learned it is all right to be a child and to be himself, Dibs unlocked the doors in his life and introduced himself to the world of other children. The doors of affection, acceptance and understanding that had been closed to him by his rigid, compulsive, scientist parents were opened after Dibs realized he need not fear the censure of his therapist and when his parents, after his mother's two surreptitious meetings with the therapist, decide to open up too and allow their children to grow and learn naturally without pressure and constant criticism. Dibs proved himself a real hero when he identified himself with a grownup doll and declared himself 'big, strong and not afraid any more'. He went on to be a
sociable, intelligent child with a keen love for nature and other people. The author recalls with pleasure how Dibs, at age 15, wrote a letter to his school newspaper to protest the dismissal of his classmate. He wrote with conviction and a strong sense of justice. The letter was signed: 'With sincerity and intent to act, I am, sincerely yours, Dibs.' Such is the integrity and leadership qualities of an admirable child who at one point was labeled mentally retarded. I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested in the emotional development of children.

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Summary: Theraputic Relationship
Review: This book doesn't blame anyone's parents for mental illness. I read this book while getting a psych degree in college and it stood out for the real care and empathy the author feels for her patient. She draws no conclusions about Dibs' parenting- she is disappointed that his parents are not as involved in the care and therapy of Dibs as she might wish. Axline finds expressions of the universal struggles of growing up in Dibs and tries to be of help. She works with Dibs and doesn't just give him a label and dismiss him as unreachable. Any resemblance of Dibs' problems to the modern diagnosis of autism is missing the point of the book entirely.

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Summary: Wonderful fiction. Move on, people...
Review: There was a time Freud was considered an genius; we now know that his theories were grossly inaccurate. There was also times when humans thought the earth was flat, and witches were burned at the stake.

Likewise, there was a time that psychologists believed that autistic children were victims of cold, unloving mothers. And, as with Freud's theories, that belief is now known to be false.

This book, as a work of behavioral science, is outdated flat-out wrong. Perhaps as a work of escapist ficiton, it is worth a read. But don't kid yourself, Dibs was autistic, and anybody believing this is an effective therapy for autistic children obviously know nothing about the subject.

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Summary: good book
Review: This was a really insightful book. I agree that Dibs probably did have an autism spectrum disorder. While I don't claim to be an expert, I have two autistic cousins and have done extensive research about autism. I could be wrong but the behavior and speech patterns match with that of a mildly autistic person; this is also supported by his good command of language but poor use of words at times. Autistic people have had success with play therapy, diet therapy etc. so it is possible.
At any rate, it was a good book that delved into solving a young boys' emotional and subsequently social difficulties.

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Summary: GREAT BOOK!!!!!!!
Review: Dibs in Search of Self by Virgina M. Axline is fantastic book about the therapy of a young boy named Dibs. Dibs won't talk or play with the kids in his kindergarden class. He won't talk to his teachers and cooperate at all. When his teachers put him with a group of children to play, he will either wander off, or have a temper tantrum. Once Dibs is put in child therapy with Miss Axline, he begins to act more and more like an average kindergardener. He starts talking to his teachers and parents, and very rarely has temer problems. His life is changed because of a remarkable woman, Virgina Axline. I LOVED THIS BOOK!