Rating: 
Summary: Passive Man (not so aggressive)
Review: This is a good book for somebody living with a passive man who hides his feelings. I saw the definition of a Passive Aggressive Man given by Dr. Brian Doyle of Georgetown University on a talk show. The definition included the following: the man/woman is seen as the "nice guy" by the outside world but within his/her spousal relationship is often verbally abusive or in conflict. One who procrastinates, one who blames others.... The book fails to spend enough effort addressing the very important issues of how the aggression manifests. Patricia Evans book The Verbally Abusive Relationship was a much better read for somebody looking for the "nice guy" who isn't so nice when nobody is around (but doesn't physically abuse). Living With The Passive Aggressive Man is a good book for the couple that is dealing with a man who is on the passive side.
Rating: 
Summary: THANK GOD... IT FINALLY MAKES SENSE
Review: This is a must read for every woman. If I had read this book 5 years ago it's possible I could have avoided a very damaging on again, off again relationship with a PA man. Many of the scenarios and behaviors outlined in the book were exactly what I have allowed myself to live with for far too long. The author gives many suggestions on how to live with and adapt to the PA behavior. He also points out that there may come a time when you have no choice but to get out of the relationship in order to save yourself. In my experience with the PA man he is very immature, does not fight fair, does not know the meaning of unconditional love and is unwilling to change any aspect of himself. I had bought into the PA behavior completely. I found it very reassuring to read the words "it's not your fault". It is sad how much of ourselves we (the women who love the PA man) are expected to give up in order to try and make these relationships work. Truly successful relationships are made up of give and take, working through issues together, accepting the good times with the bad, communication and compromise. Life is too short to be spent with a man who takes more than he gives and leaves you feeling anything less than secure about your role in his life. I am very grateful to Scott Wetlzer for bringing the PA behavior to light in such an easy to read (and read again) book. His outline of the PA behavior helped me to accept that I have done all I can do and for me the only option left was to move on.
Rating:
Summary: (No Longer!) Living With the Passive-Aggressive Man
Review: This is simply the very best resource I have for my women clients who are struggling to determine whether they are insane or imagining their misery or if they really are "victims" of their partners' abusive behavior. Having been the spouse of one of these types of men for 17 years -- and getting absolutely nowhere in marital counseling with him -- I accepted my fate and moved on. I discovered this book by accident one night at a bookstore where, to my utter surprise and delight, it literally fell off the shelf in front of me. My guardian angel knew exactly what I needed to see, and I cannot thank Dr. Wetzler enough for helping me make sense of my insane marriage. This is MUST reading for anyone wondering "is it me, or am I just imagining . . ." I hand this book to clients who also find it to be the most direct message to their own part in keeping the games going, and how to get out and STAY OUT of this trap!!
Rating: 
Summary: Too Few Nuggets
Review: This was a frustrating book to read. While there were descriptions of typical behavior, there were examples following which were too specific. My passive-aggressive guy found many ways to wiggle out of "owning" the behavior because the example following wasn't exactly what he says or does. Also, there were few practical strategies for dealing with this behavior. The strategies given are manipulative and my husband senses it, leaving us both more frustrated than ever.
Rating:
Summary: Aggression and Self Defense
Review: Unbelievably accurate portrayal of the psychologically misdirected "escape artist" who is deluded into thinking that others are fooled by their "acts" or who shroud themselves in the pretense of masculinity and maturity. The sad fact of watching someone who is afraid to confront his or her own feelings because he or she has always ignored them, or failed to question what their feelings were is a person who has failed to connect their actions to their results and to their self esteem because of that, the only method which can build self esteem. To question oneself and motivations is the only method of assessing effectiveness and providing self direction. The fascination for most people, particularly women (but not always) is the desire to provide the framework through which progress and growth can occur. That can happen only through understanding of that kind of personality, a healthy enough self esteem not to be threatened by it, and a desire to provide the flexibility in which aggressive tendencies can be self guided into positive directives rather than negative. Aggression has become synonymous with anger and need not be. Aggression is forward motion only. The desire and choice to self direct it to benefit others as well as oneself rather than to harm others as well as oneself is the distinction between good aggression and bad aggression, and perhaps between one who is humane and one who is not humane. The level of that selfishness or that humanity is visible to most and forms the basis for others to judge that person as unhealthy or as healthy, and to a great extent, provides the foundation of being able to share or not share oneself.
Rating:
Summary: 5 Stars are not enough.
Review: What a God send this book is! For the past three years off and on, I have been involved in an email relationship with a passive aggressive man! You don't have to know him face to face to play out the scenario. Besides, he was SUPPOSED to show up, but of course he never did, which is part of the PA mo. I was desperate to find help because although I knew something was gravely wrong, I couldn't figure out what it was; all I knew was that it was making me crazy and I was tired of blaming myself. So I picked up this book and on every page, in every paragraph and almost in every sentence, I had the "Aha!" reaction. I was in the middle of the bookstore browsing through the book and saying, "Yes. YES! OH MY GOD, THAT'S HIM!" On every single page.I cannot recommend this book enough if you're in a relationship with a man who makes you feel crazy and who provokes you and then turns around to accuse YOU of having the problem. I found the chapter on "Sex and the Passive Aggressive Man" particularly chilling, as the man I was involved with is a TV personality on cable. Thank God he never showed up. That humiliated, confused, and shocked female in the hotel room could very easily have been me. Thank you so much, Mr. Wetzler. I would hug you if I could.
Rating:
Summary: Don't wait!
Review: What a weight off my shoulders! You'd think an M.D. (although not specializing in Psychiatry) would have been able to recognize the situation I was in on my own. But until I stumbled on this book, I didn't see it. I had bought his idea that I was an over-achieving and over-aggressive woman and spent my days trying to be more meek. But now I realize that is only because my successes only magnify his failures and that is why he attacks. I have recommended this book time and time again -- it didn't fix any of his behavior, but it helped me realize two things. One, I wasn't imagining the damage he was doing, and two, I still have some level of control over the interactions we have! Dr. Wetzler not only puts an objective view of the behaviors and how they can affect the persons around them, but also provides ideas for coping with the interactions. While they are on a diversionary tactic, how to bring them back. While they are avoiding responsibility for damage, how to deal with that. A real eye-opener! You probably won't fix him. He will still make the comments and give you scathing looks and then act like you have totally misunderstood him. But if you want to have control over even a little part of your relationship, you will find it here. Don't spend another day wallowing in guilt!
Rating:
Summary: Don't wait!
Review: What a weight off my shoulders! You'd think an M.D. (although not specializing in Psychiatry) would have been able to recognize the situation I was in on my own. But until I stumbled on this book, I didn't see it. I had bought his idea that I was an over-achieving and over-aggressive woman and spent my days trying to be more meek. But now I realize that is only because my successes only magnify his failures and that is why he attacks. I have recommended this book time and time again -- it didn't fix any of his behavior, but it helped me realize two things. One, I wasn't imagining the damage he was doing, and two, I still have some level of control over the interactions we have! Dr. Wetzler not only puts an objective view of the behaviors and how they can affect the persons around them, but also provides ideas for coping with the interactions. While they are on a diversionary tactic, how to bring them back. While they are avoiding responsibility for damage, how to deal with that. A real eye-opener! You probably won't fix him. He will still make the comments and give you scathing looks and then act like you have totally misunderstood him. But if you want to have control over even a little part of your relationship, you will find it here. Don't spend another day wallowing in guilt!
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