How to Be Cherished: A Guide to Having the Love You Desire

Rating:
Summary: Being Cherished is incredible!
Review: I love the results of doing the work in this book. Oddly enough I was doing the work to improve my marriage, that was predictable after 13 years of marriage and neglected due to the very full nature of our life (two kids, two jobs, several rent houses, and a very successful business, and the accumulation of lots of stuff). And my marriage remains good, ahh but my relationship with my husband is definitely getting back to glowing.

But a surprise result is having so much more patience with my children -- I can be in my heart during stressful times, more consistently, with compassion not irritation or anger. I am ever so grateful for this. It will change our lives, and open a future for myself, my husband, and my children that wouldn't have been possible before.

So I did a workshop in New York with Marilyn and Maureen. And have been able to see my part of the problems of my life and I will tell you that I have successfully tolerated my discomfort as I addressed some home issues for me and my husband. What is so great is that now they are MY problems and not that my husband IS the problem. I mean I have seen my part in the problem, and have been able to take care of myself and take care of him (that wonderful man who loves me) so that we could resolve the problem.

In one instance I have figured out how I was irritating my husband by not finishing, which kept me and him stuck. And that I have actually spent the time to determine what will really work for me so that I will be happy -- really worked to design the solution to the problem -- and in so doing have discovered something that will really work for me AND him.

And, my sweet husband -- While there is much repair to do, the work has begun. All by owning my part of the problem. So the long hours away at the office, don't upset me so much, and I am happily going to his office to work with him(rather than being angered by it), and the extra stuff we've accumulated is no longer an obstacle, just an e-bay opportunity IF he is okay with it being sold, and I've begun paying attention to the things that I do that irritate him -- and owning my part -- and doing something about it. And trusting that I can talk it through, and listening listening listening.

Amazing Amazing Amazing. And I am ever so grateful.

Rating:
Summary: Being Cherished is incredible!
Review: I love the results of doing the work in this book. Oddly enough I was doing the work to improve my marriage, that was predictable after 13 years of marriage and neglected due to the very full nature of our life (two kids, two jobs, several rent houses, and a very successful business, and the accumulation of lots of stuff). And my marriage remains good, ahh but my relationship with my husband is definitely getting back to glowing.

But a surprise result is having so much more patience with my children -- I can be in my heart during stressful times, more consistently, with compassion not irritation or anger. I am ever so grateful for this. It will change our lives, and open a future for myself, my husband, and my children that wouldn't have been possible before.

So I did a workshop in New York with Marilyn and Maureen. And have been able to see my part of the problems of my life and I will tell you that I have successfully tolerated my discomfort as I addressed some home issues for me and my husband. What is so great is that now they are MY problems and not that my husband IS the problem. I mean I have seen my part in the problem, and have been able to take care of myself and take care of him (that wonderful man who loves me) so that we could resolve the problem.

In one instance I have figured out how I was irritating my husband by not finishing, which kept me and him stuck. And that I have actually spent the time to determine what will really work for me so that I will be happy -- really worked to design the solution to the problem -- and in so doing have discovered something that will really work for me AND him.

And, my sweet husband -- While there is much repair to do, the work has begun. All by owning my part of the problem. So the long hours away at the office, don't upset me so much, and I am happily going to his office to work with him(rather than being angered by it), and the extra stuff we've accumulated is no longer an obstacle, just an e-bay opportunity IF he is okay with it being sold, and I've begun paying attention to the things that I do that irritate him -- and owning my part -- and doing something about it. And trusting that I can talk it through, and listening listening listening.

Amazing Amazing Amazing. And I am ever so grateful.

Rating:
Summary: Learning how to cherish is healing.
Review: If you saw an attitude of cherishing between a couple, even if you didn't recognize it as such, probably you would yearn to be treated like that. Chances are not good that you can "find" such a relationship, but the exciting news from these authors is that you can create it. "You are more powerful than you think," the authors say. Let me give you one of their secrets: how you treat your partner is what will bring about cherishing, and the authors give very specific things to do and not to do. Another attitude that isn't mentioned much, but it's there in the book, is the importance of maintaining a sense of mutual respect. Betrayal, mean-mouthing, and neglect will surely kill a cherishing relationship. The best part is that the process is harmonious, freeing, and can release stress. The authors admit that there are relationships in which cherishing can't happen, but most often it can. Very healing in our sad world.

Rating:
Summary: Learning how to cherish is healing.
Review: If you saw an attitude of cherishing between a couple, even if you didn't recognize it as such, probably you would yearn to be treated like that. Chances are not good that you can "find" such a relationship, but the exciting news from these authors is that you can create it. "You are more powerful than you think," the authors say. Let me give you one of their secrets: how you treat your partner is what will bring about cherishing, and the authors give very specific things to do and not to do. Another attitude that isn't mentioned much, but it's there in the book, is the importance of maintaining a sense of mutual respect. Betrayal, mean-mouthing, and neglect will surely kill a cherishing relationship. The best part is that the process is harmonious, freeing, and can release stress. The authors admit that there are relationships in which cherishing can't happen, but most often it can. Very healing in our sad world.

Rating:
Summary: Required reading for loving relationships
Review: Over time long-term relationships often cool and have their problems. This is never truer than a romantic relationship between a man and a woman. The purpose of "How to Be Cherished" is to help women figure out not only why your relationship might not be all you want it to be but also what you can do to make it the relationship you want. By following the advice of the authors you can make yourself irresistible while also avoiding relationship pitfalls and before you know it you will realize you have the relationship you want. Even if your relationship is already good, you can make it even better. That's a pretty big promise to make but after reading the book I think they rise to the challenge.

If you are angry, if you are disappointed, even if you feel powerless in your relationship, you are powerful and can change it. The first couple of chapters look at how strongly you affect the man in your life by your actions, comments, moods, and attitude. As a man I have to say that the authors hit the nail right on the head here. The woman generally sets the emotional tone in a relationship. Men tend to be pretty much in emotional neutral most of the time until the woman sets the tone. You are a lot more powerful than you think!

I found chapters three and four particularly interesting. Chapter three deals with the fact that we all have a past. To understand why people do what they do it is often important to understand their past and how it affects them now. You have a past that you bring into the relationship, and he has a past that he brings into the relationship. Understanding this helps you to understand each other. The fourth chapter builds on this by looking at the fact that when you become hysterical and over react to something minor then what you are reacting to is something in your history. Hence the chapter title, "When You're Hysterical, It's Historical". The authors point out that it can be your history, his history or both of your histories, but either way it is your past controlling the situation. A healing process needs to start here to allow you to move forward in a positive relationship.

The next chapter starts the section on the actual keys to becoming cherished. There is some really powerful stuff here. Some of the real gems include empowering things like "stop feeling like your relationship is happening to you"; you are a part of it and can affect what happens. Other great sections include learning forgiveness, how to stop pushing love away, and a great section on different aspects of love and becoming the object of his affection.

Another really good chapter is "Thirteen Facts About Men". The title caught my attention right away as I wondered whether these two women really understood men or not. Well, they got this one totally accurate again. If women really understood these things their relationship would be different. While I may not agree with some of their explanations for why a particular trait is true they do get all thirteen of these totally accurate (even if some men wouldn't admit it). The book is worth the price just for this chapter alone.

Of course there is a lot more to the book than just the portions I mentioned above. I have to admit that my first reaction on receiving the book was that it was just another relationship book like the many others on the market. I could not have been more wrong. This is an exceptional book that is in a class of its own when it comes to relationship books. "How To Be Cherished" is a highly recommended read for women everywhere.

Rating:
Summary: Required reading for loving relationships
Review: Over time long-term relationships often cool and have their problems. This is never truer than a romantic relationship between a man and a woman. The purpose of "How to Be Cherished" is to help women figure out not only why your relationship might not be all you want it to be but also what you can do to make it the relationship you want. By following the advice of the authors you can make yourself irresistible while also avoiding relationship pitfalls and before you know it you will realize you have the relationship you want. Even if your relationship is already good, you can make it even better. That's a pretty big promise to make but after reading the book I think they rise to the challenge.

If you are angry, if you are disappointed, even if you feel powerless in your relationship, you are powerful and can change it. The first couple of chapters look at how strongly you affect the man in your life by your actions, comments, moods, and attitude. As a man I have to say that the authors hit the nail right on the head here. The woman generally sets the emotional tone in a relationship. Men tend to be pretty much in emotional neutral most of the time until the woman sets the tone. You are a lot more powerful than you think!

I found chapters three and four particularly interesting. Chapter three deals with the fact that we all have a past. To understand why people do what they do it is often important to understand their past and how it affects them now. You have a past that you bring into the relationship, and he has a past that he brings into the relationship. Understanding this helps you to understand each other. The fourth chapter builds on this by looking at the fact that when you become hysterical and over react to something minor then what you are reacting to is something in your history. Hence the chapter title, "When You're Hysterical, It's Historical". The authors point out that it can be your history, his history or both of your histories, but either way it is your past controlling the situation. A healing process needs to start here to allow you to move forward in a positive relationship.

The next chapter starts the section on the actual keys to becoming cherished. There is some really powerful stuff here. Some of the real gems include empowering things like "stop feeling like your relationship is happening to you"; you are a part of it and can affect what happens. Other great sections include learning forgiveness, how to stop pushing love away, and a great section on different aspects of love and becoming the object of his affection.

Another really good chapter is "Thirteen Facts About Men". The title caught my attention right away as I wondered whether these two women really understood men or not. Well, they got this one totally accurate again. If women really understood these things their relationship would be different. While I may not agree with some of their explanations for why a particular trait is true they do get all thirteen of these totally accurate (even if some men wouldn't admit it). The book is worth the price just for this chapter alone.

Of course there is a lot more to the book than just the portions I mentioned above. I have to admit that my first reaction on receiving the book was that it was just another relationship book like the many others on the market. I could not have been more wrong. This is an exceptional book that is in a class of its own when it comes to relationship books. "How To Be Cherished" is a highly recommended read for women everywhere.

Rating:
Summary: Knowing what pitfalls to avoid, and more
Review: The third volume in a planned twelve titles series from Life Works Books, and accessibly co-written for the non-specialist general reader by professional psychotherapist Marilyn Graman and workshop developer Maureen Walsh, How To Be Cherished: A Guide To Having The Love You Desire is an effective, "do-it-yourself" guide to keeping relationships nurtured, including maintaining that special feeling characteristic of the early days with a beloved friend, spouse, or life partner. How To Be Cherished is an invigorating guide to revitalizing mutual happiness based on opening one's heart, seeing through the man's eyes, knowing what pitfalls to avoid, and more.