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Summary: THE DEFINITIVE GUIDEBOOK FOR FIGHTING AN ANNULMENT
Review: Contrary to what others have said, this is NOT the story of Senator Ted Kennedy's ex-wife. It was actually written by the woman who was married to Joseph Kennedy, son of the late Senator Robert Kennedy, Sheila Rauch Kennedy. I could never have survived being dragged through the mess of an annulment by my ex-husband without this book. It is well written, painstakingly honest, and offers resources.
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Summary: Exposes the Sham of Annulment
Review: Ms. Kennedy's book is a detailed and accurate account of the sham of marriage "nullification" within the Roman Catholic Church. Her experience has been like thousands of Catholics who have been victims of institutional chicanary. The act of calling marriages "invalid", especially when they have produced children,is reprehensible. After reading this book, I am convinced that annulment is nothing more than a modern day form of selling indulgences. The Church charges hefty sums in money and emotional toll to give its blessing to remarriages.
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Summary: Duplicity, cruelty of Church practices intelligently told
Review: The author has constructed a very careful and studied examination of Catholic Church policy and practices in their annullments of sanctified marriage vows -- granted to the tune of over 70,000 a year in our country. And, amazing to this reader, given her experience in the labyrinth of canon law, Tribunals, advocates who don't advocate, etc., she writes without rancor. That Ms. Kennedy chose to investigate so well the tortuous subject matter on behalf of her children's best interests is very clear throughout. This is not at all a "I was married to a Kennedy, and now I'll profit from the dirt" sort of work whatsoever. She will, refreshingly, disappoint Kennedy bashers, lovers, and voyeurs. Readers who enjoy a variety of topics -- entertaing or weighty, will not be frustrated with this book. Ms. Kennedy writes very well, shows a good wit, and does a fine job of weaving both her own and other's experiences with the annullment process into this work. We are not at all bombarded with vile judgements or diatribes against the Church; rather, the reader is given respect by the author to undertake that task freely themselves, should they choose. Once you have read this book, you will likely have some of your darkest fears or feelings of what really goes on within the heavy oak doors of Church administration confirmed. The self-serving, short-sighted, anti-female, and moral bunkruptcy of the Catholic Church is patently obvious in their annullment business in this country. Whew! My own diatribe! Blind followers of the one true faith would be well advised to avoid this read!
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Summary: Would be an interesting magazine article
Review: The book has enough material for a magazine article but is really stretching it to fill a book. Sheila Raush is not Catholic, so neither annulment nor lack of annulment affects her day-to-day life whatsoever. Yet not getting an annulment does affect her former husband's life adversely by preventing him from participating fully in the practice of his faith. To me, her quest to block the annulment seems just plain mean. Her poignant stories about Catholic women don't even apply to her circumstances (and they fill up the majority of the book). By objecting to their annulments, those Catholic women were willing to play by the same rules they expected of their ex-husbands -- no remarriage in the Church after divorce. Raush, however, has no impediments to remarriage because she is Episcopalian, but she isn't willing to free up her former husband so that he also can remarry in his church. Again, that seems just plain mean. The annulment process in the Catholic Church is very private and Tribunals do not interview or expect testimony from the children. Rausch claims she is trying to protect her children by defending her defunct marriage against those mean old Catholics -- yet if she hadn't chosen to broadcast what was happening, her children wouldn't have needed to find out about it. Raush seems to be a self-centered, mean-spirited woman who rationalizes the damage she is causing to herself and her family by claiming to be right -- but her arguments, while smart and logical, are irrelevant. She is not Catholic and the ordeal she is going through is largely the product of her own mind. It's too bad she doesn't put her energy and intelligence into a cause other than her own self-righteous indignation at a faith that isn't even hers.
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Summary: The "Church" Within the Church
Review: The unofficial but de facto division within the Church is displayed abundantly in Kennedy's book. The American Catholic Church annulment machine grinds forward, shredding into bits those who are faithful to the Roman Catholic Church. What disturbs me is the claim that their primary concern is to bring those who are separated from the Church back to the Sacraments. Isn't marriage a Sacrament? Accepting lies about the validity or sacramentality of long-term marriages just so someone can remain in the Church is simply saying that good can come of evil. Not one single case cited by Kennedy was about cruelly mistreated spouses - they were all simply about one spouse in the marriage wanting to call it quits, while expecting to continue having a 'sacramental marriage'. While women are primarily the victims described by Kennedy, there have been numerous men who have faced the same perversion inflicted on the faithful. Yes, as Kennedy points out, and as the Church agrees, there are sometimes good reasons to declare a marriage invalid, but these are rare occurrences. Depression? Personality disorder? What about 'in sickness and health'? Shall the marriage vows be changed to say 'until imperfections are apparent' instead 'until death'? Let's face it - the promoters of easy annulments have lost their faith, or have altered it to accommodate the 'modern' trend du jour. The Church should stop putting money into the annulment machine and begin to offer counseling services that make sense. The scandal caused by this situation is blaringly obvious. Those who blame 'the Church' have no understanding of the depth of damage the American Catholic Church has done to the Church all over the world. Those who have torn a sacramental marriage assunder with no faith-based (i. e., good) reasons have a great deal to answer for. Kennedy tries gallantly to be fair in ascribing faults to the Church versus to members of the Church, though this difference is not always made clear enough. The Catholic faith (and Christ's mandate on marriage) remains what it is, despite the attempts by pseudo-Catholics to change it. In any case, the book is well-written, informative, and courageous. It reminds me of the statement that 'it is easier for a rich man to pass through the eye of a needle than to get into heaven.' I think I see why that may be true. Shame on American Catholic Church tribunals. Shame, and shame again.
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Summary: Getting a Catholic "Divorce"
Review: When I was a young Catholic divorced members of the faith were rare breeds. If they kept the faith they new they would have to live out their remaining days as a single person. Now the Church seems to work overtime to allow folks to annull marriages that endured for 30 years or more and that produced many children. Ms. Kennedy provides some interesting anecdotes of various women who protested the annullment process, and who generally were not successful. The weakness of the book is that it is anecdotal. Four or five stories do not provide valid overall data. In my opinion the author makes these stories overly long, and adds other extraneous material in a seeming attempt to flesh out the book to a respectable 200+ pages. As a divorced Catholic I feel that I could get an annullment (I knew my wife only 8 weeks when we married, and I deeply resented and didn't believe the priest's pre-marriage counseling that the primary reason for marriage was to have children), but feel that my 12 year marriage that produced 3 children was a true marriage. Anecdotal or not the process described by Ms. Kennedy left me with very negative feelings. And as someone with a background in Psychology, I find the description of the church's process for assessing mental status 20 or 30 years ago (barring some documented serious psychopathology) to be laughable.
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