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Summary: Great info for second wives
Review: I found the excerpts intriguing, although questionable at first. After reading the entire book, I realized that the author was promoting the position that the second wife holds in our society. Although some parts are bold and forthright in the expression of opinions, at least it doesn't beat around the bush, so to speak.We all have our opinions and it's good to read a book in which people's (especially those of second wives) opinions are expressed and honored. After all, opinions are not always politically correct, they are the voices of our feelings and experiences. I enjoyed it and even though I disagreed with what a few women said, I felt it portrayed the experience of second wives everywhere honestly and fairly. Second wives everywhere will discover that they are not alone. Stepmothers especially will realize that it's okay not to like those "little imps" who invade your household. It should be required reading for those women who are dating or engaged to divorced men and wondering what their life will be like.
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Summary: Finally, validation for our feelings!
Review: I have been a stepmother for 3 years, and still struggling with the emotional baggage it entails. This book provided the validation of my feelings as I travel this rocky road. I was surprised how angry it made me when reading about the injustice in the legal system, although I know about this first-hand. More importantly, it gives insight from other second wives and the struggles they go through. It made me realize there are actually some wives that have it worse than me!!! Lastly, this book gives valuable resource information--websites, etc.--so that you can seek out additional shoulders to cry on! Bravo, Christine Thomas!
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Summary: Some really great advice
Review: I really enjoyed this book a lot. I couldn't put it down until I finished it...in about 4 hours! I found the information about the First wife not getting the "REAL" divorce to totally (and finally) help me pinpoint what was the psycho-ex-wife-from-HEll's problem! Great information for us Step mothers. HOWEVER, it did not cover enough information for those of us that have custody of our step kids. It assumed a little too much that 95% of all mother's have custody of our kids (okay, that's actually right, since I do have custody of my son from my first marraige). But I didn't like how there was just so little information about father's having custody. Overall, I really enjoyed the information that I did get out of this book and it really related well to my situation.
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Summary: Where were you when I needed you!?!?!?
Review: I spent years dealing with the guilt and frustration caused by my husband's ex. I wish this book had been written 10 years ago. I would have understood my feelings were normal and I would have been able to deal with the stepkids better, knowing we were all experiencing the turmoil of putting a family together. Second wives, stepmoms, even dads, will enjoy it and it'll make you laugh at yourselves sometimes, but, to paraphrase the author, we all need to laugh more and enjoy life while we have one to enjoy.
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Summary: A troubling paradox
Review: I think the topic that the author addresses is an important one & one which is often overlooked in the general concern over those involved in a divorce. Second wives & stepmothers often have a very difficult time of it, directly or indirectly dealing with the fears and insecurities of an ex-wife, the complications of shared custody or the complexity of lost custody, children who are having to adjust to something they didn't create or want, often, and so on. What disturbs me, though, and the paradox here, is the author's seeming inability to recognize that many 2nd wives are also ex-wives...how can they be such victims, on the one hand (as 2nd wives) and such witches, on the other (as ex-wives)? How can all ex-wives be so bad? Is it even remotely possible that the man the 2nd wife is married to used to have a good marriage with the ex, too? Or that the reason the ex is such a terror is because of the years of broken agreements, disappointments, failed attempts at closeness, and so on, that the 2nd wife may just not have gotten to yet? While I'm certain that the author comforts and reassures many a 2nd wife that she is not alone in her frustration and difficult situation---and she often is in a VERY difficult situation---what she also does, I think, is widen the gap instead of narrowing it. If both wives, past and present, were able to focus more on seeing each other as real women dealing with really complex situations and less as enemies or stereotypes, the frustration and anger would lessen. That's what this book fails to consider, and for me, it's a flaw that can't be overlooked because it turns the book into a hostile attack on ex-wives instead of a thoughtful examination of an often-painful situation.
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Summary: Unfair
Review: I'm sorry, but I think this book is very unfair. I just married a man who is divorced with 3 children. His ex-wife does cause a lot of the same problems talked about in this book. But this book seems to focus totally on the ex-wife being a total ***. I thought it would focus more on the feelings you go through being a second wife and how to deal with stepchildren. I was very disappointed. It made it sound like everything is the ex-wife's fault. I don't believe that to be true. A marriage takes two people to work at it. It's never just one or the other. The failure of my husband's first marriage was a combination of the both of them. Now of course his ex doesn't believe that to be true, and she takes every opportunity to remind him of that. But she cannot be to blame for all of the problems. Life is what you make it. This book paid entirely too much attention to the ex-wife. It was very disappointing.
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Summary: A must handbook for Second Wives and soon-2-be second wives.
Review: Second wives everywhere will see themselves in this book, from the laughter to the tears. The author describes accurately (and vividly) exactly what we have all felt or said at one time or another (whether to someone else or ourselves). Those considering entering into a relationship with a DMWK (divorced man with kids) will find the book enlightening.
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Summary: Honest, forthright look at problems facing second wives.
Review: Society has a way of looking down on people if they do not fit into a highly-favored category. Second wives have long been categorized as evil and wicked. This stereotype can trace its roots back to the fairy tales we read as children-Hansel and Gretel and Cinderella are two of the more famous. However, most second wives are regular, ordinary people, women who love their husbands and are willing to be placed in the position of dealing with society's ostracism in order to help raise another woman's children. Marriage is difficult enough without having to deal with ex-wives-from-hell and stepchildren who have their own psychological problems to overcome. Second wives deserve to be acknowledged in our society. With the divorce rate at 50% in the United States, why is the second wife considered to be such an aberration? That's the focus of this book. Second wives all over the country were interviewed. Their comments are sprinkled throughout the book in each and every chapter. The primary focus of the book is to let other second wives know that they are not alone in their struggles. Hopefully, this book will make enough of an impact to be the impetus that changes society's viewpoint of the second wife.
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Summary: Life saver, I am not alone, and I can make it.
Review: Thank-you for a book that has been needed for an awful long time. I am a second wife and stepmother to four children. It will be 15 years this December. It has been an awful time with the ex wife. No matter what I do is wrong! Everything! It is so great to know there are other women who have the same problems. I carry the book around in my pocketbook. I have outlined parts that I need to read over and over. It is my support. Thank you again...when is the next book coming?
Rating:
Summary: Absolutely fantastic!
Review: The book contains interviews, thoughts, and perspectives from REAL people, not just a bunch of psycho-babble. I loved it. I just wish I could have been one of the people interviewed and had a few things to say! It will make you realize that you are not alone in your thoughts and feelings. It also contains thoughtful, insightful advice as well as well-documented research. You've got to read it!
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