Adoption and Loss - The Hidden Grief

Rating:
Summary: True Insight into the Adoption Process
Review: Evelyn's book provides a rare insight into the mind of a mother who has given her child to adoption. It details the tremendous pain suffered because of this action and the life long grief it leaves. The book records the life of the author from the time of her birth till the present, and it is an honest and candid exposé of her thoughts and feelings about the conception, gestation, birth, and finally the reunion with her son Adam (later renamed Steven by the adoptive parents). Evelyn's story is one that has, in many ways, mirrored the experiences of many other women who have lost their children to adoption. It is a story that needs to be told and one that needs to be heard.

Evelyn raise the question of 'acquiescence' for the natural mother and then dispels it by revealing the truth about the coercion involved in gaining consent for adoption. Evelyn also acknowledges the pain and hidden grief suffered by adopted people and lifts the veil of secrecy that surrounds adoption. She examines adoption's dark underbelly and the [idea] of silence that often works to maintain the spiritual, intellectual and physical separation between natural mother's and their children.

This book is highly recommended and a 'must read' both for professionals working in the area of adoption and all of those many millions of people, worldwide, who have been touched by adoption. This book will be especially valuable to adoptive parents because it provides an account of the (often unacknowledged) experiences of birthmothers and their children. Many of these individuals have in the past, and will continue in the future, to be consumed by adoptions unresolved grief.

Rating:
Summary: Excellent book
Review: Excellent book. I am an adoptee, and this helped me understand as best as I can the experience from a birthmother's perspective. Highly recommended reading.

Rating:
Summary: I am an adult who was adopted as a child.
Review: In the begining of the book the author states "...adopted people who do not acknowledge their original mothers are not living authentically..." I take exception to this statement. The person who gave birth to me IS NOT my mother. My mother is the person who guided me and loved me throughout my life. I have never had any urge to search for my "original" mother and I have several adopted friends who feel the same way. I do not deny the existance of the woman who gave birth to me, but I do deny that she has had ANY impact (other than DNA) on my life and who I am today.

This book just perpetuates the myth that adopted children feel they are "missing" something (in this case the woman who gave birth to them.)

Rating:
Summary: Excellent book
Review: There are few books written about adoption from the natural mother's perspective. For that reason alone this book is worth reading. However, it has much more going for it. It is the most honest account I have ever read of a mother relinquishing her baby to be adopted. Evelyn Robinson confronts squarely all issues that took her to that place where she felt compelled to adopt her baby - her position in her family and relationships with other family members, her relationships with men before conceiving her son and the conception of her son. She goes on to analyse the affect relinquishing her son had on her life subsequently, especially, and most painfully, her abusive marriage.

The question most often asked of women who relinquish their babies to be adopted is "how could you." Few in society have any understanding of why women relinquish their own babies to the care of others. Hence, I believe, the myth has arisen that these mothers never loved their babies and voluntarily abandoned them. In her book Evelyn Robinson carefully analyses why pefectly normal, sane women allowed their babies to be adopted. This is essential reading for all natural mothers of adopted children, adopters, adopted persons and policy makers.

Evelyn Robinson states "It is obvious that a serious loss is experienced by the women...who gave birth to children who are subsequently adopted by someone else...." She explains why the grief of these women does not diminish with time, but increases in intensity with the passage of time. Her analysis of this phenomenon releases natural mothers from their rusty shackles of shame and guilt. It is clear that not only did natural mothers have little in the way of financial resources to enable them to care for their children, their families, society, social workers and health professionals conspired to disempower and silence them.

The author encourages natural mothers to search for the adult children they relinquished to be adopted. She describes her search and subsequent reunion with her son, the difficulties encountered along the way, including telling her other four children that they had an older brother and the ongoing relationship they now have.

Evelyn Robinson relinquished her son in the early 1970's. Much of what she describes in her book - the pain adoption causes to natural mothers and adopted persons - is now well known by professionals involved with adoption. One must question why this practice continues - who benefits?

The last part of Evelyn Robinson's book is a call for an end to the practice of adoption, and an exploration of alternative forms of care for children whose families are unable to care for them.

Rating:
Summary: A Must Read For All With A Personal Experience of Adoption
Review: There are few books written about adoption from the natural mother's perspective. For that reason alone this book is worth reading. However, it has much more going for it. It is the most honest account I have ever read of a mother relinquishing her baby to be adopted. Evelyn Robinson confronts squarely all issues that took her to that place where she felt compelled to adopt her baby - her position in her family and relationships with other family members, her relationships with men before conceiving her son and the conception of her son. She goes on to analyse the affect relinquishing her son had on her life subsequently, especially, and most painfully, her abusive marriage.

The question most often asked of women who relinquish their babies to be adopted is "how could you." Few in society have any understanding of why women relinquish their own babies to the care of others. Hence, I believe, the myth has arisen that these mothers never loved their babies and voluntarily abandoned them. In her book Evelyn Robinson carefully analyses why pefectly normal, sane women allowed their babies to be adopted. This is essential reading for all natural mothers of adopted children, adopters, adopted persons and policy makers.

Evelyn Robinson states "It is obvious that a serious loss is experienced by the women...who gave birth to children who are subsequently adopted by someone else...." She explains why the grief of these women does not diminish with time, but increases in intensity with the passage of time. Her analysis of this phenomenon releases natural mothers from their rusty shackles of shame and guilt. It is clear that not only did natural mothers have little in the way of financial resources to enable them to care for their children, their families, society, social workers and health professionals conspired to disempower and silence them.

The author encourages natural mothers to search for the adult children they relinquished to be adopted. She describes her search and subsequent reunion with her son, the difficulties encountered along the way, including telling her other four children that they had an older brother and the ongoing relationship they now have.

Evelyn Robinson relinquished her son in the early 1970's. Much of what she describes in her book - the pain adoption causes to natural mothers and adopted persons - is now well known by professionals involved with adoption. One must question why this practice continues - who benefits?

The last part of Evelyn Robinson's book is a call for an end to the practice of adoption, and an exploration of alternative forms of care for children whose families are unable to care for them.

Rating:
Summary: Excellent Resource
Review: This book provides three ways of looking at losing a child to adoption: the personal story of a mother, the psychological disenfranchised grief that grows over time for all mothers who lose their children to adoption, and the political dimensions of these losses in society. It is an excellent resource for those who want to understand the effects of taking children from mothers for the benefit of others.