Rating: 
Summary: Valuable Book
Review:
I can not for the life of me understand why reviews or how reviewers can put this book down. It is an excellent source at helping to heal the wounds of past child/sexual abuse. One of the best books I have read on the subject and one of the reasons that I am moving from the lable Victim to Survivor. I say the authors did a fantastic job on this book. I also want to recommend NIGHTMARES ECHO by Katlyn Stewart and BEAUTY FOR ASHES by Joyce Meyer....I am extrememly impressed with these authors. They have helped me to heal...for that I am grateful.
Rating: 
Summary: LOST IN THE DARK or I Don't Remember, But...
Review: Childhood sexual abuse is a real problem. It is a rampant and widespread problem. It is a terrible problem. There are few acts in the world more inexplicably horrible than abusing a child. Any psychologist who has met a child who has actually been abused understands the nightmare, the black swell, the sickening underworld of terror and isolation...
In the wake of these real horrors it is a shame to see a book such as this, an unobjective, unempirical sliver of random grabbings in a world of twilight, a mess of lies, guesses and opinions about real, massive problems that need truth, research and facts.
THE COURAGE TO HEAL is perhaps the worst travesty that has ever occurred to psychotherapy. Yet, its readers rarely ever see its gross madness, mainly because they have not been trained in psychology. Anyone who understands critical thinking, scientific reasoning, and most of all, how memory works, will see instantly the witchdoctoring this book practices. My favorite line from the book:
"If you think you were abused and your life shows the symptoms, then you were... If you don't remember your abuse, you are not alone. Many women don't have memories... this doesn't mean they weren't abused." My God.
Memory is a complex, problematic, erroneous thing. It can be led, rearranged, reordered, fiddled with... We do not go through life taking a perfect recording of everything we see. We construct a lot of our memories post ex facto, actively changing and reinterpreting things... Decay, interference, and encoding failures are real things and are only the tip of the iceberg to how subjective our memories are.
The mind is complex - far more complex than the stomach, for instance. You would not allow people to operate on your stomach if they merely assured you that they have had stomach problems themselves. Yet, day by day, more and more people allow these two authors - neither of whom know anything about the human mind - free access to the operating table. If your therapist recommends this book (or a Rorschach, or a TAT) for helping you through real problems, it is time to leave that therapist's office.
Rating:
Summary: total agreement
Review: I am in total agreement with the prior reviewers. If you want healing to occur, then you must read "Courage To Heal", "Courage To Heal,The Workbook" and "Nightmares Echo". These are some of the best books I have come across for healing and understanding the pain of sexual/child abuse. I also agree with : "Beauty For Ashes",it is a spiritual look at healing.
Rating:
Summary: JS from MN
Review: I found this book to be extremely helpful in dealing with the sexual and emotional abuse of my step-father. I have felt wrong and alone my whole life without realizing why. I felt as though some of the chapters in this book were written about me which was a relief to my soul after feeling like an outcast for so long. I am very thankful that I found this book. I am saddened that this book has not helped some but we all are dealing with our own issues and not all situations are the same. I would recommend this book to anyone who is struggling. Best of luck.
Rating:
Summary: HOPEFUL - HELPFUL - HONEST - WONDERFUL
Review: I read "The Courage to Heal" four years ago as I began my painful healing journey. I have read many books since. These authors offer hope - they show a true understanding of the suffering we have endured and must own if we are to heal. So many books attempt to put the healing process into a "package" with time frames, stages, etc. This is especially true with textbooks by physicians - and it doesn't work and only frustrates those of us who are not progressing "according to schedule". Ellen Bass and Laura Davis speak to the lay person as lay people themselves. I was reassured that my time frame is just fine- as it is mine - I would progress in as much time as it takes. I have learned ways to comfort myself so I don't have to "feel the pain" 24 hours a day. I recommend "The Courage to Heal" highly to anyone progressing through the healing journey. The book offers the courage to "keep on keepin on". Judy Parliman
Rating:
Summary: important book!
Review: I read what is most likely an earlier version of this book back in the early 1990's. Not being a survivor myself, I read this book in order to get an idea of how to help support a friend who was an adult Survivor of child sexual abuse. I am a very slow reader, but I managed to read the entire book in just a couple of weeks - a record for me when it comes to books of this length.This book has given me a greater understanding of what Survivors often go through and helped guide me as I supported that friend (and many others since then). Because of its length, this book may not be the easiest to read for someone who is new to reading about healing from sexual abuse. It is however the most comprehensive self-help book that I have found on the subject. Another Amazon.com reader commented that in her opinion, this book is too "gentle, warm, and compassionate." While it is gentle, warm, and compassionate, it is my opinion that those things are good. As I watched some of my friends start to heal over the years, I have found that there are times when it seems appropriate to be a little more direct - HOWEVER - I wouldn't recommend that until you know more about the person and what helps them. Counseling is best, but this book is an excellent place to start learning. Healing is not something you can force to happen. For those who are supporting others in their Healing, I also recommend "Allies in Healing"
Rating:
Summary: This book kept me sane and saved my life
Review: Laura Davis and Ellen Bass have written a nearly comprehensive book that is very helpful for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I am 24 years old, and recovering from severe depression, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and attempts at suicide. I thought I was going crazy because of all the nightmares, flashbacks, and insomnia that I have been having for most of my life. Fortunately, about five years ago, I got to read The Courage to Heal and started to journal my experiences. Firstly, there is no such thing as "false memory syndrome". Child abuse is an epidemic in our country, and it happens to BOTH men and women. However, women are much more likely to be assaulted during their lifetime, and are more likely to develop Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, depression, anxiety disorders, etc. as a result. Although we are making great strides in equality, we still live in a culture/society that devalues women.
This book is about equality, and it's great because it can be used by men as well as women. At times, I have had difficulty reading this book because the subject matter is so raw and painful, but it has dozens of different sections that people can access as needed. The Courage to Heal is great because it does not have a "heterosexist" slant like some other books about healing from abuse. The book addresses spirituality, but it is not about god or religion. This book is about healing from trauma.
Sadly, not all of us come from loving families. Not all people deserve to have children, although many abusive and selfish people have kids anyway. Despite what we would desperately like to believe, not all parents protect their kids--and many end up abusing them. Not all parents automatically deserve to have contact with their children (even their adult children). My parents constantly told me that "blood is thicker than water" and tried to sabotage my independence so I would remain dependent on them. Fortunately, it didn't work. I realized that I could take care of myself. This book helped me realize that I don't have to have contact with my abusive family. I did not have any contact with them for three years.
This book also focuses on trying to repair relationships with "families of origin", if it is helpful for the survivor. It has been instrumental in helping me rebuild a relationship with my mother and father. This book does NOT have, despite some ridiculous and unsubstantiated claims, techniques to "recover false memories". This is a book designed to help women (and men).
There is even a section to deal with all the BS from "false memory" advocates (a.k.a. child molesters who are trying to save their necks). I also recommend the workbook that can accompany this text. If you are willing to take charge of your own life, stop being a victim, and begin to heal, this book is for you. You can't change the past, but you CAN heal yourself.
Rating:
Summary: Not for those who want to move on....
Review: Nor for those who want to get a realistic picture of their own lives.
The authors strongly suggest that if you think or feel that you may have been sexually abused, then you probably were, so you read the book, operating on the entire self-diagnosis.
Rating:
Summary: Excellent Resourceful Guide
Review: Not only is it an excellent guide, but inspirational as well to the community of abuse victims out there. This should be a required read in all schools as well as health facilities.
I also recommend other inspirational reads: Nightmares Echo, Sickened,Beauty For Ashes And Courage To Heal-Workbook
Rating:
Summary: The naysayers are either ignorant or abusers themselves
Review: The most singly important book that I've found for self-help for adult recovery from childhood abuse. As a male who was sexually abused by older males and adults of both genders, I found this book to be a validation of the intense trauma that one endures during childhood sexual abuse. As for those who discount the miniscule portion of the book that deals with "recovered" memory, so be it, but there are literally millions of adult survivors of sexual abuse (one in three females, one in five males) who have never forgotten their experiences and this book provides some guidance for recovery including resources and directions to pursue that recovery. Those adults who try to relate their never forgotten abusive experiences by family members to other family members, are most often met with ridicule and the 'recovered memory' arguments - even though they never forgot! It has been documented that recovered memory is valid in the vast majority of cases, and it has also been documented from hospital records and adult follow up that a large percentage of abused children do not remember their abuse. The recovered memory controversy relates only to unqualified therapists and psychiatrists who have planted memories either through hypnosis or leading questions and as soon as someone brings up that issue I strongly suspect the originator to be an abuser. It is the abusers fear of being caught that causes them to lambaste recovered memory. The overwhelming majority of this book deals with memories and experiences that were never forgotten and how to deal with them. Though written for females who were sexually abused, I found it very helpful in my own recovery. My own childhood sexual abuse has been the most traumatic of my entire life which includes combat duty with it's associated action, and a distressing air disaster in which life was lost.
|
