The Complete Lesbian and Gay Parenting Guide

Rating:
Summary: Funny & inclusive, with a few big drawbacks
Review: This book is one of the most inclusive queer (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, etc) parenting manuals out there. I highly recommend it for LGBT parents and anyone thinking about starting a family. It is an engaging read, full of funny stories and information. It is also one of the only books I've read that has been truly inclusive of bisexual, transgender, genderqueer and gender-variant families as well as talking about butch-femme family dynamics. This makes it a far more relevant, inclusive and current books out there... Especially for trans and bi parents and prospective parents who have been completely disregarded by most queer parenting resources, books, and groups.

I appreciated the personal stories from various parents and the author's clearly open-minded approach. She seemed less bent on proving to the conservative right-wingers that we're the same as them, normal, etc... and more focused on talking candidly and honestly about the experience of being a LGBT parent and family. It gives a broad and realistic view of the struggles and joys of parenting in a homophobic world.

But this book has a few drawbacks - First, it is unfortunate that this book does not include much about parenting teenagers. It is geared more towards families with younger children and people who are considering parenting.

Secondly, some people will find her section on transracial adoption angering and alienating. Istar Lev's approach to white families adopting children of color is incredibly misinformed - She seems very defensive and used biased and sometimes even blatantly inaccurate information to dismiss the concerns many people of color have about the wellbeing of children of color being raised by white families, especially in isolated mostly-white communities. Her claims about the origins of the concepts of race and racism are historically untrue, and her statement there are not enough suitable families of color to adopt kids of color is a factual error, as studies have shown that it is in fact racism in adoption & foster parenting agencies, and lack of outreach, that prevents kids of color from being placed in their own communities. This misinformation and the defensive tone sadly detract from important and necessary points about how white families whose children are of color can raise their kids with cultural pride and awareness and the skills they need to survive as people of color in a racist society.