But... What About Me! (How It Feels To Be a Kid in Divorce) 2nd Edition

Rating:
Summary: Awareness is the first step in arriving at "solutions."
Review: "But... What About Me! (How It Feels To Be a Kid in Divorce)" is a product of love for a friend and her children. Now it appears that this little book has been the source of comfort and awareness for many parents and children of divorce -- young children and adult children of divorce. As a result of the positive response to this book, a Second Edition (by the same title) is now available.

I have also committed to a book of suggested "solutions" for parents, grandparents, caregivers and other adults who are asking, "What do I do, now that I am aware of what children in divorce are feeling?" More and more adults are beginning to realize the short and long-term effects of divorce on children. More and more studies are being conducted, but in the meantime, children are hurting. I hope you will have gained sensitivity and awareness after reading "But... What About Me! (How It Feels To Be a Kid in Divorce)." After all, awareness is the first step in arriving at "solutions."

I hope this little book will have served its purpose, and that you will offer your comments and suggestions. The next publication, which will be for all adults interested in the welfare of children in and of divorce, is expected to be available in the Spring of 2001. If "But... What About Me!" has been of help to you, I hope you will find even more "solutions" in my next book.

I thank you for your interest in children.

Bonnie Doss

Rating:
Summary: Great reading for ALL families
Review: But... What About Me! (How It Feels To Be a Kid in Divorce) is an excellent book for all families. Too often we adults only focus on our thoughts and feelings, and unintentionally forget about how our actions affect our children.

This book takes a difficult and complex issue and breaks it down into simple terms that are beneficial for both adults and children. It enables adults to regroup and recognize what their child is experiencing, so they can ease the pain of their child. It also helps children to realize they are not the cause of the problems their family is experiencing.

At a minimum, the book will assist families to work through a divorce in as civil a manner as possible and help all involve emotionally. Hopefully ALL families will purchase this book to help them deal with family issues before they have to go through the pain of divorce.

I believe But... What About Me! (How It Feels To Be a Kid in Divorce) is not only beneficial for families going through a divorce, but it is also beneficial for all families to read to help them AVOID divorce.

Rating:
Summary: Should be read by anyone who has experienced this situation.
Review: I am a 13-year-old who recently read this book. I think it's a great story that portrays what it's like to be "the kid in the middle." As I read it, it reminded me of how many children there are in this world that have parents go through divorce and have the same feelings as the character in the book. I have never actually been in this situation, but have friends that have, and it tears them apart. If only they had this book at the time, I think it would have benefited them in many ways. I think it would have helped their parents to learn to communicate with one another and their children. This book is an exceptional book and should be read by anyone who has ever experienced this situation.

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Summary: I've learned how my children show & feel their own emotions
Review: I am a single mother of two, recently divorced. In reading this book, it reminded me of how much my children were hurting during the divorce and still are hurting now, even after the divorce. "But... What About Me!" demonstrates how important it is for us as parents to recognize and acknowledge our children's feelings during and even after divorce, so that they don't take the load of responsibility that was never intended for them to carry. Certainly, "But... What About Me!" touched my heart.

My original feeling was that this book would be a great book to read to my children. I felt that it would help open the lines of communication between children and their parents during and after divorce. But now that I have read this book to my sons, I have a much deeper appreciation for its content and simplicity.

Each day when I come home from work, my older son, age 6, meets me at the door with the book asking me to read it to him. He now uses the words "But... what about me" when he is feeling insecure about where he is emotionally and what's happening to and around him. The words and illustrations which obviously offer him comfort seem to have made this book his "best friend." For me, it has opened up a wonderful opportunity to spend real quality time with my children and really learn how they are feeling on many different levels. As a result of our time together with this book, I've learned about how they show and feel insecurity, sadness, fear and loneliness - things I didn't see or understand before. I cherish the new understanding and closeness this book has provided to my children and me.

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Summary: This book has been an inspiration to me as a single parent!
Review: I am so enthused that I finally found a book that can relate to me as a parent going through a divorce myself and that helps me to understand what my child is going through. My parents also divorced when I was younger I wish they had the opportunity to read this book. Maybe they could've understood how hurt I was while all of this was happening. They only thought of themselves when they were divorcing, this book reminds us that the children's feelings are also at stake. I highly recommend this book to anyone that is divorced or is going through a divorce with children , I also encourage young people that are with children to read this book. It has been a real inspiration to my dealing with my child and our relationship.

Rating:
Summary: A read for any parent considering divorce
Review: I enjoyed this book thoroughly and found it very enlightening. As a person with several friends in the various stages of the divorce process, I felt compelled to give this book a read-through. I was impressed by how both the writing and the illustrations were done with an emphasis on the child reader. As a result, I purchased several copies for friends, as well as, a copy for a local crisis center. As a person who has never gone through the pain of a parents' divorce, the book also gave me a new perspective on what really happens to a family when a marriage ends. I recommend any parent who might be just only "considering" a divorce or even a separation make it a point to read this book and then take the next step by sharing it with their child(ren).

Rating:
Summary: A read for any parent considering divorce
Review: I enjoyed this book thoroughly and found it very enlightening. As a person with several friends in the various stages of the divorce process, I felt compelled to give this book a read-through. I was impressed by how both the writing and the illustrations were done with an emphasis on the child reader. As a result, I purchased several copies for friends, as well as, a copy for a local crisis center. As a person who has never gone through the pain of a parents' divorce, the book also gave me a new perspective on what really happens to a family when a marriage ends. I recommend any parent who might be just only "considering" a divorce or even a separation make it a point to read this book and then take the next step by sharing it with their child(ren).

Rating:
Summary: Pleasant and educational book!
Review: I really enjoyed reading this book. It was quick and easy reading for my child and I. My son & I, unfortunately, were able to apply it to our present situation.

Rating:
Summary: Goes Right To The Heart!
Review: This book touched me with its simplicity to such a deep emotional happening in a family's life. It touched me personally because I have lived through it and probably did not handle it very well. I can hear my children's voices in this very alive stick figure child, but these are voices I did not hear at the time because I was too caught up in my own emotions. But...What About Me? gets to the heart of the matter of a child affected by divorce and hopefully will trigger a wakeup call to the parents to help the children they both love, to feel loved and not torn apart. The book and the workshops are so needed in this world where divorce is the norm rather than not, and encourages maturity and selflessness in handling a child's whole world turned upside down. The personalities and emotions shown in the illustrator's drawings, combined with the author's words from the mind of a very hurt and confused child, tells the whole story!

Rating:
Summary: Goes Right To The Heart!
Review: This book touched me with its simplicity to such a deep emotional happening in a family's life. It touched me personally because I have lived through it and probably did not handle it very well. I can hear my children's voices in this very alive stick figure child, but these are voices I did not hear at the time because I was too caught up in my own emotions. But...What About Me? gets to the heart of the matter of a child affected by divorce and hopefully will trigger a wakeup call to the parents to help the children they both love, to feel loved and not torn apart. The book and the workshops are so needed in this world where divorce is the norm rather than not, and encourages maturity and selflessness in handling a child's whole world turned upside down. The personalities and emotions shown in the illustrator's drawings, combined with the author's words from the mind of a very hurt and confused child, tells the whole story!