Home Is Where You Are : A Healing Journey Into Conscious Mothering

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Summary: Woman's 60s journal, breaking with traditional family values
Review: An intimate self-portrait of Robbie Townley, a woman breaking from traditional family values. Originally begun as log of time spent with her children after a divorce in 1967, the book turned into an investigation of how, 30 years ago, an ordinary Midwestern woman happened to fall in love with a black man, ultimately divorce her professionally successful husband, and live separately from her children who at the time were not quite three, seven and twelve. Choosing a course of action totally against the norms of her upbringing and culture, Robbie Townly is a pathfinder for women who choose to violate consensus for the betterment of both themselves and their children.

Her willingness to investigate the possibility of her molestation as a child offers solace and counsel to other similarly wounded individuals. "Home Is Where You Are" covers the first six years of Robbie's divorce with a candidness rarely witnessed.

Both women and men report a visceral and emotional response to the honesty of Robbie's story. Those who are currently processing changes in their intimate relationships or who are within the early years of a divorce, who are facing the challenges of joint custody, who are confronting the possibilities of their own sexual abuse as children and its effects on their capabilities to nurture their own offspring--all make up the audience for this book. Beyond such obvious connections, "Home Is Where You Are" speaks to those deeply committed to their own healing from family trauma through therapy or other personal growth modalities. It offers an excellent roadmap of a contemporary American woman's process of learning how to express feelings responsibly. As America's population continues to synthesize the women's movement and its awakening, these elements affect an ever-growing segment of the populace.

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Summary: This book digs deep--are you ready?
Review: Billie Delawie's prose is so vivid you'll be right there in the room with the main character and her children as she struggles her way to better understand the individualistic path she's chosen--so be warned! It's strong stuff, set a couple of decades ago, when women had to fight hard for every inch of alternative choice they gained. Personally, it helped me gain a much better understanding of my own mother, and that was a complete surprise. I suspect the book was written to help women come to terms with their need for self-expression and independence--and I, too, am such a woman. But it really astonished me with the power of these family scenes. I found some offensive; others stirred up old anger and other emotions. Still, I picked it up one morning and couldn't put it down until 6 hours later!

I'd love to see more books from this author. Where is she now? What has she learned? Surely it must be somewhere completely ALIVE! Did she and her children survive their quest beyond the book's time frame? Has she new wisdom to share for this decade? The book would make a great gift for women you know who fought their way to liberation through the 1940s, 1950s, 60s, 70s, 80s . . .

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Summary: Healing, supportive, fun, engaging, meaningful, and useful.
Review: Home is Where You Are opened my eyes to the reality of being a stepmom. I am stepping into this role and felt totally unequipped to do so. I had expectations of needing to be perfect, to have the answers, and to be the Fairy Stepmother. After reading this book, I am confident that I will have bumps in the road to being a stepmom, that makes a difference, AND that is it ok to be myself sharing from my heart whatever the feelings. I feel prepared to assist the kids, my finance and his exwife all to be real and genuine so WE can find a way to make this work for all of us. I also gained an appreciation for what the exwife is experiencing in this sharing of children we are going going through. Billie's book was fun to read, engaging, REAL, and thought provoking. My finace read it and it has helped him to see what I and his exwife are dealing with. He is also more open about his feelings of being a parent and more tender with my fears and expectations of being the "wicked stepmom". This book has been healing and has helped me to prepare to be a part of the parenting team of two beautiful kids coming from my heart and not my fears.

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Summary: Conscious healing and growth can begin at any time or age.
Review: I believe that every mother's dream is to allow herself and her children to grow, openly and honestly, in their relationship. That, in my experience and the experiences of so many mothers that I've known, has not been the case. The next best "dream" is to have the creative ability to go back and recount - openly and honestly - the drama of our lives together. To truly see through life's daily traumas, to reflect on the good and the bad, and discover the healing that took place, albeit unbeknownst to our conscious selves at the time. Billie has done this. Not only for herself and children, but for anyone who reads her book. I found myself sharing her anguish, jealousy, doubts and fears. I sensed her deep love and her committment to the healing - of herself and her children - that is so essential to growth. Her words gently compelled me to reach back in time to my own childhood, my relationship with my mother, and to motherhood and how I relate to my children. As parents now, my children will surely benefit from reading this book, allowing them to reach back in time to better understand themselves and their mother. Billie offers reassurance that healing can begin at any time; that honesty, love, committment, and even pain and sorrow are key ingredients for cultivating self-worth and acceptance of one another as individuals.