Adopting in China: A Practical Guide/an Emotional Journey

Rating:
Summary: A Man's View of Adopting in China
Review: I found "Adopting in China" to be a wonderful book on two levels. The first level was practical: the specific costs, logistics and preparation for adopting a Chinese child. (Don't miss the resource list at the back.) The second, and more important, level was personal: an open and honest story of the internal journey a man goes through as he moves from "going along with" his wife's adoption wishes to discovering a new world of love with the child. Although the first author listed is Kathleen Wheeler Werner, 95% of the book was written by Doug Werner. This is a male story, told by a man with his thoughts and feelings. We see the adoption process, the child and even China through his "Everyman" eyes. As a woman and as a professional accustomed to traveling internationally, I didn't always agree with him or feel comfortable with what he was expressing -- and that's what made this book so powerful. It forced me to think. Every husband who is still feeling ambivalent about adopting from abroad and every wife with such a husband should read and discuss this book.

Rating:
Summary: A wonderful journey of joy in adopting a baby from China
Review: I found this book to be a simple, practical and honest (and somewhat emotional) guide to adopting a baby girl from China. This book is in essence a journal written from personal experience and from the heart, giving simple, straight forward and to the point details from the beginning to the end of the adoption journey. Having already adopted a baby girl from China (which, incidently, has continued to be one of the most wonderful experiences in our lives), I find this guide to be honest and practical with essential information for the journey of future parents. Most importantly, it is a simplified account into what can otherwise be a very daunting and sometimes very complicated process. To future parents, I wish you the happiness adoption has brought us. Enjoy the journey and the experience!

Rating:
Summary: Not worth the time, effort, or expense
Review: I purchased this book from another site, thus not reading any reviews from it. I wish I'd have come here first! This book was a total waste of money in my opinion. I thought it was going to be more informative in regards to the goings on in China as far as the actual adoption process. Instead, the writers spend most of the time complaining about the food, weather, transportation and even their newly adopted daughter. While I understand the need for truth in the adoption world, I found that this book concentrated more on the troubles of the process than the joy. There were a couple of mentions of good times, but not enough to make this an uplifting read. It was not informative at all in my opinion. Stay away from this book and research on the internet instead.

Rating:
Summary: Avoid this book
Review: I wish I had read the online reviews before I tackled this book. I found the authors' description of their story to be especially dismaying. They didn't seem to respect their daughter- even made up a very disparaging song about her (and bodily functions) while they were in China. Very disappointing to see two college educated individuals be so close-minded and complaining about China. The husband's chapters become especially cumbersome- whenever I got to his sections all I could think of was, "What will he be complaining about now?" This book can be such a downer that it might sap the excitement out of you. I wonder how they are doing now. They did not seem cut out for parenthood at all.

If you are considering adoption, there are many other really good books. Search under, "Adoption, China" on Amazon and check out some of the others.



Rating:
Summary: Not worth the money or the time to read.
Review: My husband and I are in the paperchase process of adopting from China. Like some other reviewers, I thought this book would give me an indication of how the process would play out once we're over there. What I found in this book were the snobby, close-minded and down-right insulting remarks from a couple who didn't really seem like they even liked their new daughter. For example, at one point, the husband wrote that they spent one evening "making fun" of the little girl. I was shocked, but keep reading, much to my regret.

There were instances of a true disregard for the culture he was visiting. While in a restaurant one night, he was disgusted that there were some Chinese businessmen at a nearby table who were smoking. As he and his party were leaving, he made some "crude comments" to the men and "had a good laugh" about it afterwards. No wonder most of the world thinks Americans are rude!

For the most part, he did nothing but complain about the entire experience. The food, the weather, the travel, the baby, EVERYTHING. I would say 97% of the book is comprised of complaints regarding China, and the other 3% is lame comments about 'how beautiful some of the country is'. Hypocrite.

And as a few other reviewers have stated, they came home and immediately placed the baby in all-day daycare. They drop her off at 7 in the morning and don't pick her up until 5. What's the point of having a child at all? I can understand if your financial situation requires two incomes, but this couple didn't strike me as people who really wanted a child in the first place. Her 'biological clock' went off, and because of their ages, they decided to adopt. That's the feeling I get.

I can understand the out of date information because adoption guidelines and such can change very quickly. But the attitude displayed in the 'journal entries' disgusted and angered me. China is trying very hard to be cooperative regarding adopting families, and is one of the 'easiest' countries to adopt from. (Only one short trip required, relatively low fees, abundant children available, babies are usually healthier than other countries, etc.) His total lack of courtesy and respect while visiting is insulting not only to China, but to the rest of us who are waiting to pick up our child. If he wanted 5 star restaurants and hotels, perhaps he should have tried adopting from a more well-to-do country.

A couple of facts he should have kept in mind as he travelled.

1. International adoption is NOT easy. You are dealing with two different countries, which means two different sets of laws.

2. China IS an underdeveloped country. You're not going to have gourmet dinners every night. Roads are going to be bumpy and dirt covered. Not every building has air conditioning.

3. This is NOT a 'pleasure cruise'. Don't expect to be catered to and have people at your beck and call at any given moment.

4. Be respectful of the different culture. They have different customs, different routines, different lives. Just because YOU don't like it or agree with it, doesn't mean you should be insulting and rude. It's THEIR country. You're just visiting.

Bottom line? Stay away from this book. It's not worth the paper it's printed on. I have NEVER thrown a book away before, but I tossed this one in the garbage, just so noone else had to read it.

Rating:
Summary: Not worth the money or the time to read.
Review: My husband and I are in the paperchase process of adopting from China. Like some other reviewers, I thought this book would give me an indication of how the process would play out once we're over there. What I found in this book were the snobby, close-minded and down-right insulting remarks from a couple who didn't really seem like they even liked their new daughter. For example, at one point, the husband wrote that they spent one evening "making fun" of the little girl. I was shocked, but keep reading, much to my regret.

There were instances of a true disregard for the culture he was visiting. While in a restaurant one night, he was disgusted that there were some Chinese businessmen at a nearby table who were smoking. As he and his party were leaving, he made some "crude comments" to the men and "had a good laugh" about it afterwards. No wonder most of the world thinks Americans are rude!

For the most part, he did nothing but complain about the entire experience. The food, the weather, the travel, the baby, EVERYTHING. I would say 90% of the book is comprised of complaints regarding China, and the other 10% is lame comments about 'how beautiful some of the country is'. Hypocrite.

And as a few other reviewers have stated, they came home and immediately placed the baby in all-day daycare. They drop her off at 7 in the morning and don't pick her up until 5. What's the point of having a child at all? I can understand if your financial situation requires two incomes, but this couple didn't strike me as people who really wanted a child in the first place. Her 'biological clock' went off, and because of their ages, they decided to adopt. That's the feeling I get.

I can understand the out of date information because adoption guidelines and such can change very quickly. But the attitude displayed in the 'journal entries' disgusted and angered me. China is trying very hard to be cooperative regarding adopting families, and is one of the 'easiest' countries to adopt from. (Only one short trip required, relatively low fees, abundant children available, babies are usually healthier than other countries, etc.) His total lack of courtesy and respect while visiting is insulting not only to China, but to the rest of us who are waiting to pick up our child. If he wanted 5 star restaurants and hotels, perhaps he should have tried adopting from a more well-to-do country.

A couple of facts he should have kept in mind as he travelled.

1. International adoption is NOT easy. You are dealing with two different countries, which means two different sets of laws.

2. China IS an underdeveloped country. You're not going to have gourmet dinners every night. Roads are going to be bumpy and dirt covered. Not every building has air conditioning.

3. This is NOT a 'pleasure cruise'. Don't expect to be catered to and have people at your beck and call at any given moment.

4. Be respectful of the different culture. They have different customs, different routines, different lives. Just because YOU don't like it or agree with it, doesn't mean you should be insulting and rude. It's THEIR country. You're just visiting.

Bottom line? Stay away from this book. It's not worth the paper it's printed on.

Rating:
Summary: Why?
Review: My wife and I are in the process of adopting from China. I got this book thinking it not only be informative about the logistics of the process, but would be a great story of a couple's process in adopting. How wrong I was.

The logistics mentioned are either out-of-date, too vague, or only specific to this couple's situation. I learned more about the logistics of Chinese adoptions from simply visiting web sites of various agencies that do Chinese adoptions.

As to their personal story, I found it to be much more about the couple's personal wants and needs, their distaste for China, their frustrations with the process, and their difficulties with their new baby girl than about the joy of parenthood and the blessing of adoption. My wife and I have lived in China, and while some of the customs took time to get used to, these authors made no attempt to even understand the culture of their adopted daughter's homeland.

I suspect that they will never return to China, nor will they teach their daughter about her heritage, except to tell her what a terrible place they "rescued" her from. Actually, I'm not sure why they adopted, since their first act when they returned was to find an all-day day-care facility for their new daughter, so they could go back to work.

Thankfully, we didn't base our decision to adopt from China on this book.

Rating:
Summary: Don't waste your money.
Review: These writers complained, complained, complained! I actually threw this book in the garbage. I was offended by the authors' descriptions of the Chinese food, etc. Definitely ugly Americans.

Rating:
Summary: not meant to be authoritive but more practical
Review: This book is a disappointment as an adoption chronicle and a waste of money as a guide. It appears that the authors have very little appreciation for the beauty of China. Instead, ethnocentric, xenophobic comments predominate. This book was discussed on a listserve for adoptive parents, and many contributors were offended by the comments made by the second author.

The "practical" information in this book is vague and unhelpful. This book gets one star only because one star is the lowest rating available. I give it a zero.

Rating:
Summary: Why?
Review: Why would anyone travel half way around the world just to place their child in daycare for 10 hours a day and think this is wonderful? Had I not known better, I would never consider adopting from China after this bad read.