On Death and Dying

Rating:
Summary: The Classic Work on Grief
Review: Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's book, 'On Death and Dying', is one of the classic works in the field, still used to educate and inform medical, counseling, and pastoral professionals since its original publication in the 1960s. Kübler-Ross did extensive research in the field by actually talking to those in the process of dying, something that had hitherto been considered taboo and an unthinkable, uncaring thing to do. Kübler-Ross asked for volunteers, and never pressured people to do or say anything they didn't want to. One of her unexpected discoveries was that the medical professionals were more reluctant to participate than were the patients, who quite often felt gratitude and relief at being able to be heard.

Kübler-Ross also spoke to families, and followed people through their ailments, sometimes to recovery, but most often to their death. She let the people guide her in her research: 'We do not always state explicitly [to the patient] that the patient is actually terminally ill. We attempt to elicit the patients' needs first, try to become aware of their strengths and weaknesses, and look for overt or hidden communications to determine how much a patient wants to face reality at a given moment.'

This caring approach was often an aggravation for Kübler-Ross and her staff, because they would know what the patient had been told but was not yet ready to face. Kübler-Ross recounts stories of attempts to deal with death in different ways; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance -- in fact, the various stages of grief were first recognised in Kübler-Ross's research.

There are those who dislike the `stages' theory of grief, but it is important to know (as the quote above indicates) that these are not set-in-stone processes, but rather dialectical and perichoretic in nature, ebbing and flowing like the tide, so that where a person was `stage-wise' would vary from meeting to meeting.

Kübler-Ross explained her interest in this research by saying that `if a whole nation, a whole society suffers from such a fear and denial of death, it has to use defenses which can only be destructive.' Her work is primarily geared to health-care providers, and provides verbatim transcripts of conversations with a wide range of people in different classes, races, family situations, education levels, and ages. The reader can then get a sense of how to better communicate with someone in a terminal situation.

'Early in my work with dying patients I observed the desperate need of the hospital staff to deny the existence of terminally ill patients on their ward. In another hospital I once spent hours looking for a patient capable to be interviewed, only to be told that there was no one fatally ill and able to talk. On my walk through the ward I saw an old man reading a paper with the headline "Old Soldiers Never Die". He looked seriously ill and I asked him if it did not scare him to `read about that'. He looked at me with anger and disgust, telling me that I must be one of those physicians who can only care for a patient as long as he is well but when it comes to dying, then we all shy away from them. This was my man! I told him about my seminar on death and dying and my wish to interview someone in front the students in order to teach them not to shy away from these patients. He happily agreed to come, and gave us one of the most unforgettable interviews I have ever attended.'

She concludes with a chapter explaining the reactions of doctors, nurses, counsellors and chaplains, professionals who deal with the dying every day, on how the kinds of listening and care she outlines can change their work and lives as well. It is remarkable to see some of the transformations which take place among these people.

I have used the advice and insight given by this book in my own ministry, and heartily recommend it to everyone, regardless of medical or ministerial intent, for it can give guidance on how to deal with the deaths of friends or family members and, ultimately, our own death.

Death will never be a happy subject, but it needn't be a dark mystery devoid of meaning and guidance.

Rating:
Summary: Much to Know
Review: Having taken a graduate course in death and dying, I have always been curious about reading the Kubler-Ross in its full context. Most people with a minimal amount of psychology in their background are familar with the five stages of Dying, but there is so much more to the book.

The five stages of dying only comprise about 1/3 of the book. The rest of the book is composed of interviews with dying patients and an exploration of the cultural phobia of death. It is a real eye opening experience to see the lengths which people will go to avoid discussing death. Even members of the medical profession exercise some measure of avoidance. Their treatment of patients often involves sparse and impersonal contact with the dying patients and often times refusal to be honest. Kubler-Ross's research caused change through her study, making it known how the dying want to be treated.

"On Death and Dying" was the first work to study the process of dying. It still remains one of the landmark studies. It is certainly appropriate preparation for a reader who are nearing death as well as the family of the dying/dead.

Rating:
Summary: Really is a classic in an odd way
Review: I don't think any of us are prepared for death when it comes, be it accidental or even if it involves a long-term illness. Something about the finality and enormity of it makes it impossible to grasp. So "On Death and Dying" has to be the ultimate "handbook" if you will, on the subject. Most of us are familiar with the "stages" but there's more to this gem than just an explanation of that. The book really revolves around the terimally ill more so than those unexpected deaths that we so fear. Even so it's a worthwhile buy. I've been reading any and everything I can find on this subject, from books like Albom's "Tuesday's With Morrie" to the quirky and compelling looks at the different types of loss as pictured in Jackson McCrae's "The Children's Corner." "On Death" is a must for everyone. Afterall, it's something all of us will be experiencing.

Rating:
Summary: Classic Reading
Review: I have always wondered about offering this book to people. While a theoretical piece of writing, the terminology has become a part of the modern-day understanding of grief and mourning. This book was a catalyst in getting people to talk about their experiences, understandings, and concerns about death. I always recommend this people because it aids people in understanding the issues about surviving the death of a loved one; similarly, it helps people find solace in experiencing their own death. A must read for someone who is grieving.

Rating:
Summary: Classic Reading
Review: I have always wondered about offering this book to people. While a theoretical piece of writing, the terminology has become a part of the modern-day understanding of grief and mourning. This book was a catalyst in getting people to talk about their experiences, understandings, and concerns about death. I always recommend this people because it aids people in understanding the issues about surviving the death of a loved one; similarly, it helps people find solace in experiencing their own death. A must read for someone who is grieving.

Rating:
Summary: On Death and Dying
Review: Kubler-Ross's work is as valuable today as it was 30 years ago. She described the five stages of dying, while never maintaining that one had to go through the stages in perfect order or that one couldn't have other emotions along with, e.g, anger. No one would argue that death is loss--loss of one's self, or loss of someone dear to us. Many of us have other kinds of loss, i.e., a missing child--a child we have no hope of ever seeing. Is that not death of another kind? The tenets of Kubler-Ross continue to be popular because they have been empirically tested.

Rating:
Summary: Good Book
Review: This book initially brought professional as well as public attention to a seriously neglected subject. It remains one of the best on the subject, for both the dying and those close to them and for those whose professions involve helping such people.

Rating:
Summary: Feeling good About Death
Review: This book may serve as training wheels for those who have done little thinking or reading about death or dying but beyond that it is of limited value.
Ms Ross has been a tireless proponent that a humanistic answer to death is unquestionably necessary and effective. She panders to our need to believe that death is easier and less painful then it actually often is. So this is a well written and convincing book to those who want to feel good and want to feel in control of death. But death can be a profoundly transformative force in peoples lives when we do not seek simple answers and answers that act as prozac. Dealing with death in a genuine and full way is difficult, time consuming. But since people prefer quick easy, feel good answers this book fits the bill just fine. What surprises me is why this book doesnt come with a packet of "Hot Cocoa For the Mortal Soul"


Rating:
Summary: Helpful during difficult time
Review: This book was recommended to me when my mother seemed to be dying of cancer. It explored the taboo topic of death, accepting the pending death and offerred a whole new perspective on how to accept and understand the process. It is controversial in the medical community and a must read for anyone with a loved one who is terminally ill or who is terminally ill themselves.

Rating:
Summary: Passing through grief
Review: This book was very helpful to me when I lost two of my loved ones. It gave me understanding and enabled me to be patient with the grieving process. I recommend it. I also recommend "How to Survive the Loss of a Love" for help with grief.