Stepparenting

Rating:
Summary: good overview - and misses the core problems
Review:
I have researched stepfamily dynamics professionally since 1979, and have specialized in providing professional education and therapy to stepfamilies since 1981. I have been a stepson, stepgrandson, stepfather and stepbrother, and am an invited Board member of the Stepfamily Association of America.

I recommend 'Stepparenting' by Lofas and Sova to readers who want a readable, interesting overview of many of the stressors common to most families. I do NOT recommend it to readers who seek to understand and avoid or resolve the specific core problems that cause widespread stepfamily unhappiness and re/divorce in our country.

This well-organized, wide-scope book is peppered with explicit general suggestions for co-parents - e.g. 'Don't withdraw' (p. 29); 'Take time out for yourselves as a couple p. 42);'
'Discipline styles must be sorted out by the couple' (p. 133); etc. The authors don't explore why most co-parents would agree with much of the book's advice - and be unable to follow it effectively, because of these five widespread hazards:

1) significant (unseen) psychological wounds in co-parents (including ex mates) and some kids,

2) unawareness of blocked grief in some adults and kids,

3) personal unawareness and adult ignorance of (a) inner-wound healing, (b) high-nurturance families and relationships, (3) healthy three-level grief, and (d) effective communication skills.

4) needy, love-struck partners choosing the wrong people to re/wed, for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time, and...

5) little informed, effective stepfamily help available in most communities and the media.

For more perspective on this review, see:

http://sfhelp.org/11/choose_bks.htm

Rating:
Summary: For the Bio parent and Stepparent!
Review: Although Lofas has updated things since this book was originally published, this is a great resource. One thing that sets this book apart from the numerous others on stepparenting is that it speaks to the biological parent as well as the stepparent. Suggestions for opening dialogue between partners coming from entirely different backgrounds, and problem solving steps and procedures are prescribed.

The viewpoints of the stepparent, the biological parent, and the child are detailed. This makes it somewhat easier to understand one another.

Teamwork and the re-establishment of the household are the major emphasis here. The discussion starters that Lofas suggests between two partners can be a bit painful and emotional, but help lead to a better understanding of each other. Thus, a stronger bond is created.

Rating:
Summary: For the Bio parent and Stepparent!
Review: Although Lofas has updated things since this book was originally published, this is a great resource. One thing that sets this book apart from the numerous others on stepparenting is that it speaks to the biological parent as well as the stepparent. Suggestions for opening dialogue between partners coming from entirely different backgrounds, and problem solving steps and procedures are prescribed.

The viewpoints of the stepparent, the biological parent, and the child are detailed. This makes it somewhat easier to understand one another.

Teamwork and the re-establishment of the household are the major emphasis here. The discussion starters that Lofas suggests between two partners can be a bit painful and emotional, but help lead to a better understanding of each other. Thus, a stronger bond is created.

Rating:
Summary: Re:STEPPARENTING
Review: I am saddened by all of Peter Gerlack's reviews of Jeannette Lofas's books. It is one thing to comment about a book, but when one uses the same comments about all book, and follows it up with self promotion. He mades the intentionof his comments suspect.

I poersonally have found all of her books vital to my clients.
Barry Miller, Ph.D.

Rating:
Summary: ahhh,it could hjave given more.
Review: not bad and nopt exactly the same as all the others,however most miss the point orf a parent that will not let go of controll.

Rating:
Summary: This is a must read for anyone in a step family situation
Review: This book was recommended to me by a counselor. Everyone in my step family benefitted from its insight. We all got a better understanding of the problems we were experiencing. Topics such as where do I fit in & the importance of establishing rules & structure are addressed in an easy to read & understand format. I highly recommend this book to anyone in a step-family situation