Attention Deficit Disorder: Only a Mother Could Love Him

Rating:
Summary: blinded by a disease....
Review: ADD is a disease, which we are yet to fully understand, inflicting more and more children each year. We follow Ben's journey of having growing up with ADD, then finally seeing him 'triumph' by completing school, continuing to university and writing about his experiences. Whilst it is unfortunate that ADD 'affected' Ben during his school years, there are many things, which need to be addressed. Is ADD a plausible excuse for being an intolerable, sexist, racist and chauvinistic adolescent? Those who were on the receiving end of his cruel taunts, suffered just as much as he did, therefore wouldn't be happy to know that his book acts like a way out for him. Where ADD affected Ben, his malice affected those around him. Many of us were witness to Ben's disrespect when he was at an age to realise that his words were taken to heart and weren't brushed off as easily as most schoolyard mocking. Through this book, we are witness to Ben's point of view, taken on Ben's journey, taking Ben's side. I don't deny that ADD is an illness that we are not taught or educated on, however, I don't believe that Ben's affliction with ADD should be used as an excuse as to why he acted so hurtful during his years at high school. Ben is being compensated for having ADD, by writing down his views-consequently people buying the book- but who will compensate those that suffered in silence? If someone who DIDN'T have ADD was constantly harassing your child at school would you forgive them as easily? Ben's treatment of fellow students was intolerable; of course, he would always "have a go" at those weaker than him, being offensive to those 'lower' than his almighty self. It wasn't ADD attacking those kids, it was Ben, and that seems harsh, but it's reality.

Rating:
Summary: blinded by a disease....
Review: ADD is a disease, which we are yet to fully understand, inflicting more and more children each year. We follow Ben's journey of having growing up with ADD, then finally seeing him `triumph' by completing school, continuing to university and writing about his experiences. Whilst it is unfortunate that ADD `affected' Ben during his school years, there are many things, which need to be addressed. Is ADD a plausible excuse for being an intolerable, sexist, racist and chauvinistic adolescent? Those who were on the receiving end of his cruel taunts, suffered just as much as he did, therefore wouldn't be happy to know that his book acts like a way out for him. Where ADD affected Ben, his malice affected those around him. Many of us were witness to Ben's disrespect when he was at an age to realise that his words were taken to heart and weren't brushed off as easily as most schoolyard mocking. Through this book, we are witness to Ben's point of view, taken on Ben's journey, taking Ben's side. I don't deny that ADD is an illness that we are not taught or educated on, however, I don't believe that Ben's affliction with ADD should be used as an excuse as to why he acted so hurtful during his years at high school. Ben is being compensated for having ADD, by writing down his views-consequently people buying the book- but who will compensate those that suffered in silence? If someone who DIDN'T have ADD was constantly harassing your child at school would you forgive them as easily? Ben's treatment of fellow students was intolerable; of course, he would always "have a go" at those weaker than him, being offensive to those `lower' than his almighty self. It wasn't ADD attacking those kids, it was Ben, and that seems harsh, but it's reality.

Rating:
Summary: I am one of those moms...
Review: Benjamin Polis "Only A Mother Could Love Him"
Seaview Press
ISBN 1 7 4008 169 2

B. Polis is a 19 year old Australian man, who surprised most of his teachers. Having
changed schools frequently due to impossible to tolerate behavior, Polis has encountered
quite a few teachers in his school years.
How did he surprise them? He succeeded!
From early on the ADHD blessed man gave educators the impression that he was not
going to get far in life. But he proved them wrong!

The title caught my attention, because I have a son with ADHD and that title expresses
exactly how I often feel about my son. He is very bright, witty, charming and caring. He
can, however, in an instant and very unpredictably turn into a raging volcano - a term Polis
uses, I generally refer to my son as a tornado. Then his behavior is far beyond a "normal"
preschooler's temper tantrum.
Just like Polis my son is well-liked by peers, because he is a class clown and comes up
with "cool" ideas, that everyone wants to copy. Unfortunately his "cool" ideas are
generally a teacher's nightmare...

I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 35 and have experienced firsthand many of the
situations and emotions Polis describes in his book.
When I first picked up the book, it immediately struck me as attractive to my hyper and
inattentive senses.
It is not too big as a huge volume can be a big turn-off to an ADHDer.
The paper is really bright white and the contrast and size of the font of the writing

stimulate my senses in a very positive way.
The chapters are short and simple and funny cartoon drawing allow breaks from reading.

The book had me in tears after reading only a few pages.
Tears of laughter - I saw myself and my son being described.
Tears of fear - what strugglesome future my son has ahead of him!
Tears of sorrow - about all those years I lost due to undiagnosed and non-treated ADHD.

Polis describes his school tears from the Australian school system point of view, but his
experiences, suggestions and recipes for success or failure are universal.

Whether you have ADHD yourself or know someone, who does; whether you are a parent
or an educator, who needs to know more about how to deal with an ADHD child or
whether you just plain want to know more about the dynamics of this disorder, the author
of this book has something important to say to you.

My favorite quote is from page 113 of the paperback edition "To get through to an
ADHD child throw all normal disciplinary actions out the window."
I have struggled with getting that concept through to my son's daycare for years. The
biggest issue always seemed to be "...but it is not fair to the other children..."
I am glad that I stood firm by "THIS is not fair to MY child!" as he is a much happier and
well behaved child since some adjustments have been made.

I congratulate Polis on his willpower and promising future. He is an encouragement and
expression of hope for parents, who might be on the verge of giving up hope. He is an
inspiration for children who feel as though they may as well give up, because they feel
stupid and bad.
He makes those of us, who share his chemical imbalance, laugh at the embarrassing
memories.

While I was reading the book, an incident happened that I want to share:
I was laughing hysterically and my 3 1/2 year old ADHD son asked me what was so
funny.
I told him "This guy does things that sound just like something you would do!"

"Tell me, mommy, tell me! What did he do?" my son exclaimed.
I recited the incident about 4 year old Polis, who found the valve to the main sprinkling
system in a public park crowded with picnic enjoying people.
He turned it on - much to the dismay of all the people and the embarrassment of his
grandparents, who were in charge of little Ben.
After explaining to my inquisitive son, what a valve and a sprinkler system are, he calmly
responded "Well, mommy, I am only three, so I don't know how to do that. But when I
am four, I will definitely try that!"

That's a typical ADHD child - always in the lookout for the next source of drawing
attention.
As we have a disorder of attention DEFICIT, we have to make sure that we get the
attention from somewhere else, right?

Rating:
Summary: A must read
Review: Every parent with a child with ADHD should read this book. I found it more informative then any book out there written by someone in the mental health profession. This is the real deal written by a 19 year old who has been through so much and has come out on top, wanting to help fellow sufferers of ADHD.

Rating:
Summary: A SPECIAL BOOK BY A SPECIAL YOUNG MAN
Review: I laughed, I cried...I felt so relieved when I read this wonderful book! Just what this mother needed.

As a mother of a 12 year old with ADHD it was a great comfort to read a book such as this. Being a parent of an ADHD child is very frustrating and drives me to tears quite often. After reading about the condition from "THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE" it opened my eyes with a brand new outlook.

For instance, to hear your child tell you "I hate you" breaks a parent's heart. (I know, I hear it often) Ben relates that he often said this to his parents too but also explains the thinking behind it as an ADHD child. He says if a child says this to their friends - they won't be his friend anymore - but they know they can say this to a parent and get away with it because no matter what they say or do to their parents, they know that their parents will still love them - unconditionally. How right he is! When I think about that this way I handle it so much better. It's like - now I understand!! It is these kind of explainations that make this book so valuable and special.

Benjamin is a smart young man, and his book is a great inspiration to all parents who just feel like they want to give up sometime. His insights and stories of his experiences have given me a better understanding into my child's ADHD mind and it has actually helped me cope better. (Not to mention it made me laugh out loud! - My child's antics don't seem so bad anymore.) His accomplishments and the way he has shown a person can handle this disease and have a normal, successful life is an inspiration to us all.

I highly recommend this book to anyone with a child with ADHD or ADD. BRAVO BENJAMIN POLIS!!

Rating:
Summary: Understanding but still floating in space
Review: I thought Ben's book was very truthful. As a mother of a 15 year old adhd child who was diagnosed at 5, I can believe every word of the book. I did not gain any help as to what specific things to do to deal with my child but it gives me hope to see how well Ben has done at this point in his life. It gives me hope that my son will succeed in life. I have read everything I can get my hands on to help me deal with my child but to this date everthing out there only helps me to understand his world. Ben,how about a book that tells a Mom what to do to help keep my child's world on this planet and in our solar system? I'm sure you could do it.

Rating:
Summary: It is like reading my own son's story:
Review: I thought that Polis really captured what it is like to have ADD from the child to adult perspective. What captured me about the book, was the fact that while I was reading it, I felt like I was reading my own son's story. I have loved my own son unconditionally through some very trying times, mostly with the school system and the athletic programs. For the first time, I felt like we were not alone. I am even thinking about starting a support group up using the book as a basis for discussion. Every educator should read this book, so they can feel what it is like to live with ADD and have a greater understanding of the ADD person. Thank you, Ben, for taking the risk to write your story.

Rating:
Summary: Attention Deficit Disorder: Only a Mother Could Love Him
Review: It was great to read about ADD from someone who's dealing with it instead of a doctor who's treating it for a change. This kind of insight helps me in trying to work with my son instead of always trying to change him into something he just can't be.

What Ben has done should be a great motivator - he's been able to turn his school life around and become an entrepreneur at a very young age. I applaud his dedication to this goal and wish him success with this book.

Plus, it's short! Much appreciated by those of us with short attention spans.

Rating:
Summary: From a different perspective...
Review: Many thanks, Mr. Polis, for your perspective of learning differences given first hand. It has helped me as the parent to understand the frustration and anger that my son has/is going through since age 5. Your book has given me hope that my son will someday be successful in the job market or college.

Many thanks, Mr. Polis for your determination to make a difference in the world of learning disabilities/differences.