The 36 Well Kept Secrets of Successful Marriages and Divorce

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Summary: The best Secrets I ever Got ABout Marriage and Divorce
Review: As a busy mother and homemaker, I found the 36 Secrets spellbinding. I have read DeAngelis, Dr. Laura, Wallerstein, Gottman, Phil Gram, Mars & Venus series and when it come to the bolts and nuts of marriage and divorce, this book is the last stop. That is except the author has another book HE is writing. I was taken by surprise with the simple looking cover and by the fact that the book starts with "What's Your Risk for Divorce" without an introduction. But from opening the first page of the book till I completed the last page I couldn't drop the book. I could see why divorce rates are still so high because most other authors do not hit the nail on the head like this guy did. I was surprised that he is even a minister when he started talking about sexual intimacy. Don't get me wrong. The guy(author) surprised me when he stated that if a man needs healthy sexual intimacy and the wife because of some mindless wandering neglects him, other women will eventually provide what his wife refused to provide. That could help explain some of the high sex scandals in the Church today. I have now become addicted to using the phrase "don't destroy the foundations of your mariage" when talking with other friends who often describe how they starve their dutiful husbands of sexual intimacy to keep them in line. The 36 Secrets has altered my views, for good, about what men and women often do before and after marriage to create successful or failed marriages. And by the way, this is the first book thatI have seen differentiating between a failing or failed marriage and divorce. I believe that with the author differentiating between divorce causes precipitants and reasons,(it might be the first to define the five causes of divorce) marriage therapists trying to help people like me can do so before our marriages sink into the despair of inevitable divorce. I particularly love the author's description of the five foundations of successful marriages and the corresponding five pillars and how we are supposed to build five bridges of love across those five foundations. Imagine that to build a successful marriage you must do so at the five foundations and that to end with a divorce you will have to attack one or all the five foundations of your marriage. I am yet to find that one book that uses analogies like this guy does in describing how marriages fail. If he didn't have his picture on the back, I would have presumed him to be an elderly female psychiatrist. And it's amazing he is none of these to have writtten this book. Now when my kids go out on a date with the wrong person I now boldly ask them "do you guys have similar foundations on which to build a successful marriage? "if you can't marry them or have kids that look like them don't sleep with them". Meaning the book is good for my parents and their kids. It makes you bolder as a parent and smarter as a young adult planning to get married. I finally have something to teach my teenage kids without worrying if I need to say more or less. If you've got teenage kids who think they're smart, tell them to read the book and show off how smart they are! You'll be amazed. My divorced girlfriend who had blamed her ex-husband for the past five years since the divorce(she and the guy, both good looking, didn't remarry) wept in my arms after reading the book's first three chapters. She too couldn't drop the book until she finished it. Are we talking practical here? My friend and her ex- who had identical foundations couln't find better partners but didn't know they had divorce creating habits described in the book either (yes, divorce creating habits and seven of them) and that such habits lead to divorce. Now they know and now they're back together and every time they call they start wih "Thanks Pat". The book is a classic and I'll look forward to reading any other books by the author even on different subjects.

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Summary: The 5 Microscopes of Marriage
Review: I am a divorcee with no idea about how I ended that way or even what to do to avoid repeating the same mistakes. After reading this book, not only was my confidence in making the right decisions restored, I learnt precisely what I had done wrong in my first marriage from the causes precipitants and reasoons for divorc. If I ever fall in love again it would not necessarily lead to marriage if that is not the right person for me. The book has really helped me forgive my ex-and I am finally picking up the pieces of my life at the five foundations described in the book. I didn't know there where fiv foundations that you could identify and make your life better, choose a good mate with and even use them to build a good marriage. I am glad the book shows that anyone can fall in love but that marriages that succeed involve couples who share similar foundations with each other. I am currently in therapy and even my therapist, also a divorcee is discovering things in the book she never knew she needed. It's a great book. An author like this needs to be on Oprah or some show that will help millions of people how to use what's in the book to help couples build a successful marriage. Minus some misspellings, the book is a practical, clear concise masterpiece. Knowing my foundations has actually helped me get off antidepressants and simply continue with monthly as opposed to weekly therapy. I hav never had so much peace restored to my broken heart until I read this book by a minister who has also been divorced and now successfully remarried. The guy knows what he is talking about and I have been blessed by it. It is an enriching book for every single who is considering marriage or remarriage as well as for married couples.

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Summary: No! No! No!
Review: I found this book offensive and out of touch with reality. I would NOT recommend this book to anyone, and certainly wish I had not purchased it. The views published in this book are closed-minded and judgmental.

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Summary: The coolest book for singles and couples
Review: I needed a book on relationships as my girlfriend had started insisting I find books on relationships if she was ever going to consider marriage to me. My girlfriend is a smashing beauty and she has the brains to go with her beauty. It forced me to ask friends about any solid books on relationships that could really open my eyes. After three years of undergrad philosophy, I was sick of the imprecise material around on relationships. The book really knocked my socks off. This book has straightened me out in just one day. I think I'm ready not just for marriage, but for a graduate degree in marriage counseling now! The book is awesome. The book intelligently unravels the mysteries between why couples stay happily married or divorced even after decades of marriage. The foundations of marriage and divorce seemed to fuse beautifully into one structure that made it easy to understand the most important aspects of what to do while single, while dating or after marriage. I wish both my parents were still alive to read this book for their marriage and to be at my wedding. Kudos to this smart doctor from Africa! Hope he saves many relationships through this book.

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Summary: An ignored book we all desperately need
Review: I was surprised after browsing through a friend's copy that the book wasn't in every bookstore on the planet. It was even a fight getting my book ordered from the local bookstore. Enough of preambling. Any intelligent individual who reads this book can never be the same again. Ever! It is passionate and pure with a clear description of what we women must do before jumping into bed or getting married. As an assistant pastor of a fairly sized church, I counsel a lot of singles and divorcees. And I could never find a single book to refer some of these helpless individuals to. That has changed since I got the 36 secrets while in Tennessee.

With the 36 secrets, everyone, as the title suggests, gets a large piece of the pudding. It is a unique book with a unique perspective by an author who it appears, is from an entirely different culture, Nigeria, yet has had first hand experience of the agonies surrounding a horrible marriage that ended in divorce. Surprisingly he is also a minister. I believe there are few books in print that provide a spiritually balanced and practical yet in-depth look at the causes of divorce as this book. I will recommend the book for singles, pastors, married or divorced women and men and it doesn't matter if you are young or old.

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I would have given more stars but the book is hard to find in bookstores.

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Summary: Great Book
Review: I would like to thank Dr. Opere for taking the time to write this book. His insight on marriage and divorce has helped me to think of my relationship in new and better ways. The part about the successful marriage picture puzzle and the differences between marriage failure and divorce is mind boggling to say the least. The book shows why people who are not right for each oher in the first place get divorced after forty years of marriage. Read this book and youll know what to teach your kids and friends about marriage. There is no book like this yet.

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Summary: The 36 Well kept Secrets of Successful Marriages and Divorce
Review: It's amazing that there is one book less than three hundred pages you know, that can really really help all the types of people I know having one problem or the other with their relationships. The 36 Well kept Secrets is a very helpful book for anyone, I don't give a d... who you are, you need the book if you really want to know about your marriage, stuff that kids need to know before they grow too old and why marriages end in divorce. I particularly liked the way the book describes the risk factors I should identify before getting married. Most books written by therapists and these other gurus are just so vague on what to do before marriage to avoid a divorce. This book really comes clean for me on that. Some of my married friends and cousins couldn't believe the book could help their marriages get better. But I'm glad they didn't just laugh at me, they read the whole book. And we've been fighting over who is next in line. My friend who works in the emergency room loaned me the book but I didn't believe her when she said the book was personally autographed by the author. His book will be a successful contribution to the well being of our society in America. I just sense it. Thanks for the book. It really removes the myths about marriage and divorce for anyone willing to break from fantasy to reality. Cool!I still think the guy was a psychiatrist in Nigeria though.