Mothering Against the Odds: Diverse Voices of Contemporary Mothers

Rating:
Summary: AN EXCEPTIONAL LOOK AT MOTHERING
Review: I am a big fan of Mothering Against The Odds, and anyone undaunted by the stellar line up of scholars, academicians and therapists - mothers all - will be richly rewarded. I was worried that this would be an academic workout of a read, but was drawn from page to page, spellbound by the stories of mothers, each searching for her truth and resisting further marginalization in doing so. The book feels like a conversation among friends in a way that includes the reader as a mother resistor, empowering her with the light of truth telling and consoling each of us not only with the sameness and horror of our collective shadows, but the power to resist more marginalization. This is a perfect Mother's Day or any day present for every mother in all of our lives. It was a real gift to me, both elevating the conversations with mother friends held out of the coach's or teacher's or doctor's auditory range and validating them, as well as welcoming me into a thoughtful group of mothers, adding a new layer of oomph to my own resistance. There were many chapters I approached with the expectation that I would be a reader experiencing an "other," and instead I was moved by a deep seeded commonality. Knowing what I know about real dialogue with pediatricians, (all of my children's, but especially my son's) coaches, school administrators, teachers, (especially the teachers of my adolescent children) - even as a privileged mother in a conventional heterosexual family, I feel more sameness than difference with the "special" categories of mothers in each chapter of your volume. All mothers do experience marginalization, a relegation to the sidelines of our growing children's lives with the concomitant shame undermining our pride when loving involvement persists. A careful reading of this volume also invokes shame that comes with significant enlightenment for any way that I may have contributed to shoving "other" mothers into the shadows. With the wisdom of this volume, I can see myself as a confident mother resistor and truth teller and not simply the persistent nuisance I fear some of my children's teachers and many of their friends' parents perceive me to be. Each chapter carries a strong message for each of us, not for "others." I am empowered by the bravery of teen mothers resisting the mold with which their welfare workers try to choke them. As a consummate letter writer, many of them unsent, I am empowered by Dr. Cynthia Garcia Coll and her colleagues' account of an incarcerated letter writing mother who stayed connected with her child and her own truth in writing letters that likely never reached him. I am emboldened by Miriam Greenspan's conviction born of many mothers' experience: "ours is...an emotion phobic culture," as I recall the pathologizing of my emotionally attuned children by well intentioned teachers when my children's' fears and sensibilities did not mesh with convention. I am liberated by Dr. Janet Surrey and her colleagues' careful unfolding of the adoptive experience and the enlivening picture of adoption "as much a recovery from loss as it is loss itself." I love the conviction presented as part of Dr. Laura Benkov's description of families headed by lesbians and gay men, but also as a truth woven throughout the volume, that "it is the quality of our relationships rather than the structure of our families that matters most in human development." And the most chilling truth of all, from Dr. Phoebe Kazdin Schnitzer, apropos single mothers, but easily applied to the actual story of any mother, and in fact, the shadow side of this volume: "This is marginalization up close - moving from stereotypes to inhibited interactions." And when each of us settles down and recalls the ways in which our mothering life has been constricted by cultural norms, or when each of us joins in our own rich conversations with other mothers or the rich conversational markers throughout the volume, it is a dark reality that confronts us, both more and less frightening because it is a shared one.

Rating:
Summary: Truth telling and conversation empower all mothers.
Review: I am a big fan of Mothering Against The Odds, and anyone undaunted by the stellar line up of scholars, academicians and therapists - mothers all - will be richly rewarded. I was worried that this would be an academic workout of a read, but was drawn from page to page, spellbound by the stories of mothers, each searching for her truth and resisting further marginalization in doing so. The book feels like a conversation among friends in a way that includes the reader as a mother resistor, empowering her with the light of truth telling and consoling each of us not only with the sameness and horror of our collective shadows, but the power to resist more marginalization. This is a perfect Mother's Day or any day present for every mother in all of our lives. It was a real gift to me, both elevating the conversations with mother friends held out of the coach's or teacher's or doctor's auditory range and validating them, as well as welcoming me into a thoughtful group of mothers, adding a new layer of oomph to my own resistance. There were many chapters I approached with the expectation that I would be a reader experiencing an "other," and instead I was moved by a deep seeded commonality. Knowing what I know about real dialogue with pediatricians, (all of my children's, but especially my son's) coaches, school administrators, teachers, (especially the teachers of my adolescent children) - even as a privileged mother in a conventional heterosexual family, I feel more sameness than difference with the "special" categories of mothers in each chapter of your volume. All mothers do experience marginalization, a relegation to the sidelines of our growing children's lives with the concomitant shame undermining our pride when loving involvement persists. A careful reading of this volume also invokes shame that comes with significant enlightenment for any way that I may have contributed to shoving "other" mothers into the shadows. With the wisdom of this volume, I can see myself as a confident mother resistor and truth teller and not simply the persistent nuisance I fear some of my children's teachers and many of their friends' parents perceive me to be. Each chapter carries a strong message for each of us, not for "others." I am empowered by the bravery of teen mothers resisting the mold with which their welfare workers try to choke them. As a consummate letter writer, many of them unsent, I am empowered by Dr. Cynthia Garcia Coll and her colleagues' account of an incarcerated letter writing mother who stayed connected with her child and her own truth in writing letters that likely never reached him. I am emboldened by Miriam Greenspan's conviction born of many mothers' experience: "ours is...an emotion phobic culture," as I recall the pathologizing of my emotionally attuned children by well intentioned teachers when my children's' fears and sensibilities did not mesh with convention. I am liberated by Dr. Janet Surrey and her colleagues' careful unfolding of the adoptive experience and the enlivening picture of adoption "as much a recovery from loss as it is loss itself." I love the conviction presented as part of Dr. Laura Benkov's description of families headed by lesbians and gay men, but also as a truth woven throughout the volume, that "it is the quality of our relationships rather than the structure of our families that matters most in human development." And the most chilling truth of all, from Dr. Phoebe Kazdin Schnitzer, apropos single mothers, but easily applied to the actual story of any mother, and in fact, the shadow side of this volume: "This is marginalization up close - moving from stereotypes to inhibited interactions." And when each of us settles down and recalls the ways in which our mothering life has been constricted by cultural norms, or when each of us joins in our own rich conversations with other mothers or the rich conversational markers throughout the volume, it is a dark reality that confronts us, both more and less frightening because it is a shared one.

Rating:
Summary: Stimulating,eye-opening views of women's lives as motherss
Review: I was pleased when I encountered Mothering Against the Odds as I was selecting course books for my undergraduate class. And, my pleasure increased when I realized how stimulated my students were with reading and discussing it. They could see in a new way the full meaning of marginalization and resistance through the development of the "liberatory voice." The authors' lucid definition of marginalization and the sociopolitical act of resistance served as a guiding analytical principle for the reading and discussion about women's lives as mothers. The diversity presented was eye-opening. The new ways in which the students could encounter their own mothers was quite moving. The opportunity this reading gave these women to voice their recognition of margenalization in their own lives and their desire to engage in the social task of re-valuing motherhood and acts of mothering was unique. After this successful academic experience, I featured Mothering Against the Odds as a Book of the Month on the Wise Woman Productions website. In response several of our members requested a discussion group to consider the many provocative issues raised by the book.

Rating:
Summary: Stimulating,eye-opening views of women's lives as motherss
Review: The lives of the women we meet in Mothering Against the Odds provide the reader with a new awareness of the complexities of child-rearing in the United States today. The editors of this volume, clinicians, researchers, educators, theoreticians and writers, were initially drawn together by their common interest in establishing a community where they could share their experiences in parenting. Their own sense of personal and intellectual isolation as mothers spurred them to examine the multiplicity of mother-roles faced by all women; the resulting volume is the work of eighteen writers and scholars. Garcia Coll, et al frame their discussion of mothering in a format of personal narratives which reveal the individual challenges faced by those who mother at the so-called margins of society. The editors' choice of these narratives of women mothering came from their awareness that the diverse experiences shaping mothers' experiences are untreated in contemporary discussion of society's problems. The chapters illustrate a variety of mothering experiences: stories of women with biracial and exceptional children, mothers with HIV/AIDS; immigrant, homeless, single, adoptive, incarcerated, and teen mothers. Three conversations with the editors are interspersed within the text which highlight themes emerging from the individual stories of mothering. Each chapter stands alone as moving account of a mother's struggles and triumphs in a particular instance; all the chapters are tied together by the common thread of the voice of the mother's experience in each instance. The reader is left with a sense of the formidable tasks faced by those who are so often invisible in our society and yet who are coping and contributing successfully in many ways that leave one humbled. The voices of these mothers are the voices and lives that sociologists, psychologists, and of course educational policy makers, need to consider as they pursue ways to improve the lives of our children and of our families. While this is an academic book it also is a highly accessible and readable book for all those who have an interest in children, women and families. Above all, the stories told here represent lives of triumph, lives of women quietly confronting many problems usually hidden from the public view. And the editors state their intent to continue their study of mothering and the varied contexts women live in; we certainly hope they will. While the reader is left with many troubling questions, we also hope that through a consideration of the dignity of the lives of these women we can bring about change. Mothering Against the Odds is a must read for all those concerned with issues related to families today.

Rating:
Summary: AN EXCEPTIONAL LOOK AT MOTHERING
Review: This is a stunning volume of maternal voices that are usually ignored. We hear from poor mothers, mothers of color, homeless and incarcerated mothers, single, lesbian, adoptive and teen mothers. These mothers, taken together are the true face of American motherhood. I really love this book.