Living Joyfully With Children

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Summary: Short essays on how to create joy in living with children.
Review: "Living Joyfully With Children" is an easy read of short essays--perfect for busy parents. Chapters treat specific subjects thoughtfully, developing logic and principles for living, and keeping the goal of joyful living always in sight--without glossing over the work and serious concerns everyone meets along the way. The Sweets give an upbeat perspective and offer convincing personal examples that it can be done!

Choose a chapter for ideas on a topic, for example: "Crying: When Is It O.K., and When Is It Not?" / "All Those Lessons" / or "The Holidays Are Coming!" In "crying," the Sweets develop the idea of crying as a safety valve, an important element in a positive life, not a negative as one is apt to feel when actually dealing with a crying child. Their deciding principle is that crying is ok for all-age children, both boys and girls. They conclude, "If following the principle results in unbearable crying or yelling, get earplugs."

In dealing with "all those lessons," their perspective gained in 30 years of parenting, and now grandparenting, helps a parent today to trust the kids. Jill and Jim, the Sweet's children, were going to over 3 outside lessons in addition to schooling when Win decided for the sake of sanity and reducing the to-and-fro-ing to cut some lessons for each child and gave them their choice. To her surprise, the kids chose to give up all lessons and went to no extra, scheduled activities. After 2 years, Jill started a more joyful approach to organ, and Jim later owned a horse. They didn't drop out of society or turn into vegetables. The story is an inspiration.

An honest treatment of holiday times also helps focus on joy in the chaos of gifts, traditions that must be observed, and forced happiness. "Fast forward to January 2," they say, "and think what you would consider to be happy memories, then use those ideas in your planning." The Sweets have developed a tradition of macaroni and cheese for Christmas-eve dinner, originally a kids' choice, which now adds joy to the times.

The Sweets were radical in home schooling their 2 children through the elementary years, and the success of their approach gives authenticity to the principles they discovered, followed, and present here. The book is not about home schooling, but in that situation, they had more than average contact time with their young children, and one senses that it would have to be a joyful time or it couldn't have gone on for so long. A friend said he could imagine what his wife would say if he came home one day and said, "Dear, wouldn't you like to keep the boys home all day with you and teach them yourself?"

The Sweets had fun with their children and still do today, now that Jim is an engineer and Jill a computer scientist turned mother. Their essays in "Living Joyfully With Children" reflect on childhood and teenage life (drugs and chores are discussed), in their own family and others. They made a conscious decision to do things for fun, and not just because "it's good for you." They didn't wait to be grandparents to enjoy their children. It is their ongoing story, and one worth the read today.

Rating:
Summary: Short essays on how to create joy in living with children.
Review: "Living Joyfully With Children" is an easy read of short essays--perfect for busy parents. Chapters treat specific subjects thoughtfully, developing logic and principles for living, and keeping the goal of joyful living always in sight--without glossing over the work and serious concerns everyone meets along the way. The Sweets give an upbeat perspective and offer convincing personal examples that it can be done!

Choose a chapter for ideas on a topic, for example: "Crying: When Is It O.K., and When Is It Not?" / "All Those Lessons" / or "The Holidays Are Coming!" In "crying," the Sweets develop the idea of crying as a safety valve, an important element in a positive life, not a negative as one is apt to feel when actually dealing with a crying child. Their deciding principle is that crying is ok for all-age children, both boys and girls. They conclude, "If following the principle results in unbearable crying or yelling, get earplugs."

In dealing with "all those lessons," their perspective gained in 30 years of parenting, and now grandparenting, helps a parent today to trust the kids. Jill and Jim, the Sweet's children, were going to over 3 outside lessons in addition to schooling when Win decided for the sake of sanity and reducing the to-and-fro-ing to cut some lessons for each child and gave them their choice. To her surprise, the kids chose to give up all lessons and went to no extra, scheduled activities. After 2 years, Jill started a more joyful approach to organ, and Jim later owned a horse. They didn't drop out of society or turn into vegetables. The story is an inspiration.

An honest treatment of holiday times also helps focus on joy in the chaos of gifts, traditions that must be observed, and forced happiness. "Fast forward to January 2," they say, "and think what you would consider to be happy memories, then use those ideas in your planning." The Sweets have developed a tradition of macaroni and cheese for Christmas-eve dinner, originally a kids' choice, which now adds joy to the times.

The Sweets were radical in home schooling their 2 children through the elementary years, and the success of their approach gives authenticity to the principles they discovered, followed, and present here. The book is not about home schooling, but in that situation, they had more than average contact time with their young children, and one senses that it would have to be a joyful time or it couldn't have gone on for so long. A friend said he could imagine what his wife would say if he came home one day and said, "Dear, wouldn't you like to keep the boys home all day with you and teach them yourself?"

The Sweets had fun with their children and still do today, now that Jim is an engineer and Jill a computer scientist turned mother. Their essays in "Living Joyfully With Children" reflect on childhood and teenage life (drugs and chores are discussed), in their own family and others. They made a conscious decision to do things for fun, and not just because "it's good for you." They didn't wait to be grandparents to enjoy their children. It is their ongoing story, and one worth the read today.

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Summary: Yolo County Homeschoolers Monthly
Review: "This really is a good book. These folks were forgingthose early "unschooling" paths with their own children moreor less the same time that John Holt was figuring out that maybe public school wasn't such an idyllic place for kids after all. Like Holt and the Colfax family, one of the parents was a certified teacher, so legal problems never arose and they were free to try new things.

The Sweets have given a slightly new-age flavor to this book, talking about giving children the knowledge of their True Self, honoring play, rhythms of readiness, and emotional cores. If you didn't mind that sort of thing in other books (like my all-time favorite child development handbook, Natural Learning Rhythms), then you'll be able to access the nuts and bolts of how they were able to successfully Homeschool their kids when there literally was nobody else around them doing it.

One of their favorite tools is "principle-centered parenting." Working with the idea that a principle is an unchanging rule governing our lives (such as the principle of gravity -- if you let go of an object heavier than air, it will drop to the ground), the Sweets have discovered a set of family principles that helped them in their parenting adventures. A few principles from their "treasure chest": "A household filled with joy creates an atmosphere where family harmony flourishes." "Parenting by fear may be very effective at the moment, but guiding with wisdom is much more effective in the long run." "Instead of over-directing, allow children to make their own discoveries and solve their own problems," and dozens more.

There are several essays devoted to this concept, including using it as a disciplinary tool (essentially the "consequences" method - the child makes the choice of results by his behavior, removing the parent from the role of judge and jury). They also emphasize the great power of a positive attitude and humor (not unlike Glenn Latham's "The Power of Positive Parenting," another of my favorite books).

The Sweets also delve into such varied subjects as the effects of the parents' relationship on the family, single parenting, TV, and Santa Claus. I found that I had already discovered many of the same tools and shared many of the same views that the Sweets were offering, but I won't hesitate to recommend this book when people ask me for references for mindful parenting. This book is accessible and sincere ~ a compact and inclusive handbook on bringing joy back into a chaotic home.

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Summary: Excellent reading! Thoroughly recommended!
Review: 'Our challenge as parents is to cherish the children's zest for life and incorporate it into a joyous atmosphere in the home.' So say authors Win & Bill Sweet in their amazing new parenting guidebook, Living Joyfully with Children. Here are a series of essays that move us away from traditional, culture-driven attitudes and worries about children, and into the freedom to discover true Self.

Living Joyfully with Children speaks to all the facets of life and growing up in that life. We learn that it's ok for children to play, in fact, that's their job. And it's ok to cry (how many of us have admonished our children, 'Don't cry'?). How should we use the word, no? Why is it important to care for mom? What is the difference between educating and programming your child?

Win & Bill Sweet ask and answer the questions all good parents pose. Living Joyfully with Children is a how-to book filled with invaluable, straight-forward and deep wisdom. Another wonderful example is found in Chapter 23---Expectations. What should we expect from our child? 'You can enjoy the magic of your children as you set yourself and your children free of the expectations of what they should be doing according to the culture. This freedom releases them to be who they are.'

Living Joyfully with Children is all about that freedom. Principle-centered parenting brings freedom and confidence to families and Win & Bill Sweet offer an unpretentious means to family living in this easy-to-use guidebook. This reviewer wishes it had been around when my children were growing up!

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Summary: A book to benefit every parent and potential parent.
Review: Every parent and potential parent will benefit from reading about the authors' life experiences in how to be a real parent. And so much family disharmony, pain and unhappiness could be avoided, if they only knew the message of joyful parenting and honoring the true Self of children. The authors could not be more right that "children are naturally cheerful" and it is parenting that interferes with that natural cheerfulness. The insights in this book are well explained in the Epilogue when the authors acknowledge their debt to their wonderful parents who gave them a "happy and loving childhood." This is the highest praise that any child can give its parents. I hope that this book is read widely for it is more than deserving of being widely read by parents and future parents, and I will certainly do what I can do to spread the word.

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Summary: Living Joyfully With Children
Review: I highly recommend this book as necessary reading for all teachers and parents. The authors' shared insights into how to nourish our children's self-esteem, to honor their natural rhythms, avoid the pitfalls of power struggles and self-blame, and to practice good self-care for ourselves and our adult relationships all help answer the question: "How can we live more joyfully with our children?"

I must add that, as a parent and as a teacher, I am very concerned with the increasing pressure put on children these days. The clear emphasis is on making them do more, do it earlier, and do it as perfectly as possible. All eyes are glued on standardized test scores and admissions to "the best schools". Yet so little attention is placed on the overall wellness of the child. However, as authors Bill and Win Sweet make clear, real success in life (i.e. the ability to flourish and cope sucessfully with adversity) depends on a healthy emotional core and on humane, sensible approaches to Life's many challenges -- both of which have little to do with pushing children to their breaking point. It is my hope that all who read this book will be inspired to make the choices that will create greater joy in their own lives and those of their children.

Linnaea Avenell, parent, teacher, and author/webmaster ...

Rating:
Summary: Living Joyfully With Children
Review: I highly recommend this book as necessary reading for all teachers and parents. The authors' shared insights into how to nourish our children's self-esteem, to honor their natural rhythms, avoid the pitfalls of power struggles and self-blame, and to practice good self-care for ourselves and our adult relationships all help answer the question: "How can we live more joyfully with our children?"

I must add that, as a parent and as a teacher, I am very concerned with the increasing pressure put on children these days. The clear emphasis is on making them do more, do it earlier, and do it as perfectly as possible. All eyes are glued on standardized test scores and admissions to "the best schools". Yet so little attention is placed on the overall wellness of the child. However, as authors Bill and Win Sweet make clear, real success in life (i.e. the ability to flourish and cope sucessfully with adversity) depends on a healthy emotional core and on humane, sensible approaches to Life's many challenges -- both of which have little to do with pushing children to their breaking point. It is my hope that all who read this book will be inspired to make the choices that will create greater joy in their own lives and those of their children.

Linnaea Avenell, parent, teacher, and author/webmaster ...

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Summary: Many of the gems in this book are completely original.
Review: I think it is a wonderful book! It has many gems, and many of them are completely original. I think the distinction between "principles" and "rules" should be taught by every parent educator. It has gotten me out of power struggles with my daughter many times.

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Summary: The wisdom parents need is all here.
Review: In raising my daughters I have struggled to find a balance between the two parenting extremes, permissive and authoritarian. Imagine my pleasure when I read Living Joyfully With Children. Here is the balanced approach! It shows how to surround our children with unlimited love AND loving limits. It is a prescription for preserving the sweetness of children and the sanity of parents. This is the kind of parental guidance that helps us bring up children who are truly lovable, by helping them express their positive selves and learn to control their negative tendencies.

The wisdom parents need is all here, clearly and gently told, in Living Joyfully With Children.

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Summary: Yes! It is possible, if you want it.
Review: Is it possible in this hectic world to have a joyful and fulfilling life with your children? Parenting experts Win and Bill Sweet say "Yes!" In this collection of essays based on years of workshops, parents on the spiritual path and even those that have never questioned the standard methods for raising children, will find a wealth of advice for creating a happy and harmonious home. The key to a joyful home is allowing a child to "be who he is," in essence, to give a child the knowledge of "true Self." The way to accomplish this is to raise a child with receptivity to his awakening spirituality. Each chapter illustrates how to achieve this balance with principles stated in everyday language which makes the underlying spiritual principles easy for everyday use. These principles will aid in establishing a higher consciousness in every child. From honoring play to establishing a home devoid of negative elements, the Sweets have structured an easy-to-use guidance system that leads to experiences in daily living that are beautiful to behold and positively affect every facet of life. Parents will learn to resist the temptation to call certain things spiritual and others worldly, and thus be reminded of the all inclusiveness of everything occurring in our lives and of everyone entering it. With the assistance of this book, the realization comes that as we operate spiritually, we operate in the human scene with enlightenment. For over twenty years, Win and Bill Sweet have conducted workshops and other activities for parents that have provided a conducive environment for expanding a child's awareness to her true identity. They continue to enjoy joyful relationships with each other, their adult children, and their two grandchildren.