From Generation to Generation: Understanding Sexual Attraction to Children

Rating:
Summary: A difficult subject sensitively tackled - excellent!
Review: Dr Hastings gently speaks the unspeakable. For all of us who were sexually abused as children, this book helps us understand why.

For those of us adults that have gone on to be sexual with children, Dr Hastings helps us tackle our deep shame and secrecy. Required reading for all healing from society's betrayal of the child.

Dr Hastings deals with women who are sexual with children. The least known and harshest treated. She objectively debunks the myth that "sex offenders" can be treated by just tackling the now issues. Sex addiction, including that to children, has to be dealt with holistically. Focusing just on so-called "deviant" behavior just moves the problem elsewhere.

A hard book to read; one best kept to discuss with your therapist or better still, with your 12 Step sexual recovery group.

Thanks, Dr Hastings, for all your help.

Rating:
Summary: The bible of child molester information
Review: For those who have molested, been molested, or been interested in more on the subject of molestation, Hastings says it all. From Generation to Generation helps us all to see that judging others does no good, we must reach out. The book also lets us know that we must seek the help we need, whether in this area or another. I can't say enough about this book

Rating:
Summary: Powerful, but accurate?
Review: Hi. I read this book a few years ago. This was a powerful book for me, and I think it will speak to all those who are trying to understand their "deviant" attraction to children. I give the book very high marks for describing the unfortunate situation of the pedophile; the shame, loneliness, and self-hatred that the pedophile experience due to factors over which he has no control and about which he probably has little understanding. The book by no means encourages sexual interaction between adults and children, but it does provide a rare sympathy and understanding for the adult who is sexually attracted to children. The author also acknowledges the widespread nature of this "deviancy," which may be comforting for the pedophile to hear, since the media and most in the medical profession believe that pedophilia is extraordinarily rare. However, it is not clear what the actual frequency of this "deviance" is within the population, and the author cannot offer any empirical data.

My problem with the book is that it presents a simple answer to the question "why am I a pedophile?" that as far as I can tell is not accepted by the leading researchers in the field. The answer provided in the book is that attraction to children in adult life is the result of sexual abuse in childhood. While one can identify a pattern of victims becoming abusers, this is not a pattern that is exclusive to the sexual domain, and it does not address the experience of those who are highly attracted to children but were not abused themselves (and perhaps never become abusers). A leading researcher and therapist on pedophilia told me with a good deal of honesty that "we don't really know why some people are attracted to children". While the author's theory of cyclical abuse may have some value, a truly believable theory must incorporate a broader biological and cultural explanation. (Perhaps this can be found in the Springer-Verlag book edited by Feierman). Another troublesome aspect of the book is the neo-Freudian approach to the issue, which will strike many moderns (like myself) as being too much theory with too little evidence. The Carnes addiction model of sexual deviance, which is frequently adopted in the book, has also been the subject of some criticism, and is not universally accepted.

In summary, while the book is valuable for the sensitive manner that it addresses the issue of pedophilia, the answers that it provides to the "why me?" question are highly suspect, and come out of a particular psychoanalytic approach to treatment. The reader interested in starting therapy is advised to find an honest therapist who can explain the various forms of treatment available, and the theoretical underpinnings of each. A reader who remembers a healthy childhood may not feel comfortable with a psychoanalytic therapy that assumes that childhood trauma caused his sexual orientation. Modern science recognizes a wide variety in human sexual preference... if we no longer believe that childhood trauma causes homosexuality or transsexuality, why should we be ready to believe that childhood trauma causes pedophilia? Nevertheless, regardless of the causes, the pedophile must seek help from a qualified therapist to ensure that children will not be put at risk.

Rating:
Summary: ABUSED CONFUSED ANXIETY RIDDEN AND SELF-DESTRUCTIVE
Review: I strongly recommend this book for anyone seeking to find help with feelings of emptiness and loneliness, mood disorders, any type of addiction, identity issues, self-esteem issues, reoccurring unresolved anger, troubling relationship and trust issues.

Excellent compliments to this book are: The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen; The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert Pressman; Emotional Blackmail: When People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward and Donna Frazier; Understanding the Borderline Mother: Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson; Living with the Passive-Aggressive Man by Scott Wetzler; Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited by Sam Vaknin and Lidija Rangelovska (Editor); Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-Up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents by Nina Brown; Treating Attachment Disorders: From Theory to Therapy by Karl Heinz Brisch and Kenneth Kronenberg; Toxic Coworkers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job by Alan Cavaiola and Neil Lavender.

And if you want to pursue the subject even further, you may be interested in reading The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple: A Psychoanalytic Perspective On Marital Treatment

Rating:
Summary: A courageous and pioneering work.
Review: This book does an admirable job of staking out the issues necessary for individuals and society to address in order to begin true healing from the forces that compel people to act out sexually with children. Hastings alludes to her own history in this area and thus models the courageous stance that replaces shame with honesty. I found myself having a wide variety of feelings while reading this book, and found it harder to read than I had anticipated. While not a definitive work on the subject (such a book hasn't been written yet), this work will be seen as instrumental in pointing the way for future growth in the area of pedophilia recovery.