Helping Your Aging Parent

Rating:
Summary: After a long haul . . .
Review: . . . this book was finally returned to me.

This book came into my life at the perfect moment. It was like someone was watching what was happening and, "boom," there this book was.

Soon after receiving this book, I sent it to my mother. She was experiencing extreme difficulties with the care of her mother (my grandmother, of course) and this book contained the answers and the guidence she needed. What's more, it was written in an understandable language so she didn't have to sit and wonder what the heck the author was talking about.

She kept this book even after the passing of my grandmother April of 2003. Why? Because she has several people in her life that were going through the same experiences and needed this book. Instead of giving it to them, she showed it to them so they could pick up their own copies and use their own CD-ROMs. Every single person she showed this book to thanked her for putting such a resourceful guide in front of them.

So, in closing, I highly recommend this book to anyone who is faced with these circumstances. I've seen first hand just how helpful it truly is to those who are "helping their aging parent."

Rating:
Summary: Advice for Taking Care of Parents
Review: Contacted by this writer for a book review of his guide to helping aging parents, this reader was impressed by the amount of knowledge amassed by author Grote in his effort to help those faced with the awful decision of finding adequate care for the elderly. There has never been a greater need for the type of book author William J. Grote has put together, yet there comes a time when the information becomes essential to making the best decision possible for our loved ones.

In Helping Your Aging Parent, Grote offers advice that ranges from visiting the doctor with your parent/s to finding a hospice to making funeral arrangements. And because this is such a difficult subject for many to face, it's easy to see why so many put these arrangements off until the last possible moment. Who really wants to deal with trust funds and living wills when it's the parent we're worried about? What about the stress involved in seeking a retirement home or nursing home when it becomes painfully obvious our parent can no longer function on his or her own? The issue of housing for the elderly is thoroughly covered in Grote's book, as are warnings and issues to watch for when exploring options.

Mr. Grote also deals with geriatric illnesses ranging from Alzheimer's to various stages of dementia, hospital care, hospice care and the struggle most children face when dealing with the fact that their parent needs additional care. This extremely well written and researched book gives the reader a road map of sorts to follow, a guide for what to watch for and how to deal with nearly every imaginable situation. Face it - this is, unfortunately, an unavoidable subject. But after reading compassionate and intensively detailed how-to care book, it is obvious that ignoring the issues of aging won't make them go away. This book offers hard-earned advice and experience in ways to make the transition as stress free for the parent as possible, while offering support for those that are left to make difficult decisions. This is a must reference for any household, for sooner or later, we're all going to have to deal with the issue of aging and elderly care within our family.

Mr. Grote, a worker in the publishing industry for a quarter of a century, decided to put this book together after having to face the reality that his own parent was showing signs of suffering from dementia. This guide is the result of many lessons, frustrations and hours of research.

Rating:
Summary: An included CD-ROM contains 27 forms and checklists
Review: Helping Your Aging Parent: A Step-By-Step Guide by William J. Grote is a superbly organized and highly accessible instructional reference and guide to determining when an aging parent needs help, to what extent one should step in and take charge, and presents easy-to-follow instructions and recommendations for the non-specialist general reader needing to navigating the legal and emotional maze of setting up trusts, power of attorney, finding the best and most affordable housing, surviving hospitalization, coping with mental disorders, nursing homes, and much more. An included CD-ROM contains 27 forms and checklists to help one sort through the book's information and put its advice to practical use. Helping Your Aging Parent is very highly recommended for anyone faced with the necessity of assisting their aged mother or father cope with the medical, emotional, financial, legal, and physical problems of old age.

Rating:
Summary: Sound advice and instruction
Review: I am forty years old. My father is sixty-two. He has an advanced stage of glaucoma, diabetes (insulin twice a day), and he's feet are cold from poor circulation. He is independent, right now. But, we both know the time is slowly approaching, where I will have to take care of him. He doesn't want to talk about it, and neither do I. Am I alone? No, there are many Americans who will face this dilemma in the 21st century.
Helping Your Aging Parent alleviates some of fears in the road to caring for an aging parent. The worksheets, checklists, and forms guide you through the stages of dependency, to include: finding the best housing, surviving the frequent hospital visits, and preparing for hospice, death and funerals. The author's personal account provides a welcoming beacon down this unfamiliar path. For example, there is sound advice for following your parent's instructions, if they should become incapable of making final decisions. And, this time of life is not only about the aging parent. Comforting information is also included to deal with your feelings.
William J. Grote learned the hard way, that aging can be a sticky subject for both the parent and the child. By fumbling through the health care system with his 80 year old mother, he gained valuable knowledge and expertise. Helping Your Aging Parent is Mr. Grote's way of passing the torch along the path to your parent's aging process.

Reviewed by: Judine Bishop Slaughter
Express Yourself Books


Rating:
Summary: Sound advice and instruction
Review: I am forty years old. My father is sixty-two. He has an advanced stage of glaucoma, diabetes (insulin twice a day), and he's feet are cold from poor circulation. He is independent, right now. But, we both know the time is slowly approaching, where I will have to take care of him. He doesn't want to talk about it, and neither do I. Am I alone? No, there are many Americans who will face this dilemma in the 21st century.
Helping Your Aging Parent alleviates some of fears in the road to caring for an aging parent. The worksheets, checklists, and forms guide you through the stages of dependency, to include: finding the best housing, surviving the frequent hospital visits, and preparing for hospice, death and funerals. The author's personal account provides a welcoming beacon down this unfamiliar path. For example, there is sound advice for following your parent's instructions, if they should become incapable of making final decisions. And, this time of life is not only about the aging parent. Comforting information is also included to deal with your feelings.
William J. Grote learned the hard way, that aging can be a sticky subject for both the parent and the child. By fumbling through the health care system with his 80 year old mother, he gained valuable knowledge and expertise. Helping Your Aging Parent is Mr. Grote's way of passing the torch along the path to your parent's aging process.

Reviewed by: Judine Bishop Slaughter
Express Yourself Books


Rating:
Summary: Helping Your Aging parent
Review: In this very potent book the author takes a hard, detailed look at one of the least discussed, yet potentially most overwhelming dilemmas one will face. Topics include: The setting up of Trusts, Power(s) of Attorney, Alternative housing options, and even hospice care and funeral detail. The 2 most telling chapters are "Surviving the Hospital", and " Dealing With Dementia," subjects rarely broached with such candor. Many helpful and interesting websites are noted- (worstdrugs.com and searchousing.net, to name two), and sample forms and checklists one will find useful are included-( Nursing Home Evaluation Worksheet, Sample Durable Power of Attorney, Sample Life Directive, etc), all of which can be easily reproduced using the included CD-ROM.
That said, the real power of this guide is derived from the many personal reflections by the author, who learned these truths first hand, in the process of helping his own mother during the last years of her life. While the title of the book may be "Helping Your Aging Parent", the message is just as easily that of bringing absolute fullment into one's own life. Everyone should read this book!
"This is the person who took care of you...Reversing that roll isn't always easy- for either of you. It takes time to get comfortable with the idea. Unfortunately, time may not be what you have."

Rating:
Summary: A useful book I should have had
Review: This book was pretty enlightening. But I read it too late to help me.

I just went through what the authors did, also with my mother. I didn't know there were all these options. I just followed what the people at the hospital told me. I figured they would know. But they just told me to go to places where they had some involvement, or maybe get a cut of the money.

If I had known just a little of the stuff that's in this book, I could have made it a whole lot easier for my mother. It sets down all the possibilities, that I never even knew existed. There are places I could have taken her that would have been much more attuned to what she needed as she got worse and I had to move her.

The people at the hospital should have this book so they can give people some decent information that would actually help the patient. I'm a bit mad that they didn't know or didn't tell me about the assistance that's out there. I had to get this book, which lays it all out, step-by-step, and tells you what to look for and what possibilities are out there and how to deal with it all. It's very practical and easy to read, and just goes into what you need to know, and exactly what to do at every step, not a bunch of psychological stuff.

I sort of wish I hadn't got this book. I didn't do a very good job for my mother like she did for me all my life, but I just didn't know till I got this book what there was for me to do.

I'd definitely recommend it, but get it beforehand, as soon as you see some signs of a problem (which this book also tells you how to detect).

Rating:
Summary: a worthy & useful companion
Review: When William Grote approached me to review his new book I was elated, at last someone who has done what I, as I was writing STANDING THE WATCH: Memories of a home death, could not. Here he takes us through the maze of understanding our parents' needs & wants, in a big book, with a CD tucked into the back flap so you can print out the things you'll need along the way.

When it comes to taking care of our parents, & by the millions, we baby-boomers are now facing this, most of us don't know where to begin. It is especially true if your parents have been independent & living on their own all your adult life.

I know well what William Grote means when he wrote: "Sooner or later most of us will have to step in and help our parents...being able to help...when they're truly in need is one of the most important opportunities you'll have in your lifetime. It's far more important than a promotion at work, or any personal achievement you may seek for yourself. It's a chance to get in touch with the meaning of why you're here, to become aware of the greater sense of your humanity, or even allowing you insight into your roles as a spiritual being." Page 6.

HELPING YOUR AGING PARENT is a worthy companion for everyone facing their parents' final years. It is reader-friendly, the cartoons are good for a giggle (you've got to hone your funny bone along with all your other skills!) & the information it contains, from health to economics, housing to hospice will be of immense use.

Very well done!

Rating:
Summary: Help Your Aging Parent
Review: Would you know what to do or where to start if your ageing parent was showing health related problems that suggested things were not right? If you have an ageing parent you care about then this book is a must.

It is an extremely well researched book that provides very easy to read detailed information on how to detect health problems with your ageing parent even if you know nothing about medical conditions, how to arrange medical care, accommodation, negotiating legal and administrative issues relating to your parent's assets and will, setting up trusts, right up to funeral arrangements. It really is a complete guide that will alleviate the mysteries of how to look after your ageing parents. It even includes a CD-ROM with 27 forms and checklists to provide practical assistance! There are also a number of websites to help out on identifying which drugs to avoid.

This 'how to do' guide is presented with compassion and reflects the reader's real-life experiences. It provides all the information you will need to assist your ageing parent.

I highly recommend this book to anyone who cares about their ageing parent/s. A very small investment in this book will provide enormous returns.