Rating: 
Summary: boring, slow, vapid - glad i got it from the library
Review: i read a review of this book on amazon.com that was very favorable - did we read the same book? i almost wonder if i should rate this book at all, considering that i only got through about 75 pages. usually i'll force myself to finish any book, but this was such a waste of time that i returned it immediately. good for my pocketbook, since it's the first book i've actually returned on time to the library in years! thanks wendy. better luck next time.
Rating: 
Summary: Honest Account -- and How to Avoid Going Bankrupt
Review: I really enjoyed this honest, searching book. I am not personally going through a divorce(I hope I never have to!) and never have, but as a child of divorce I think Swallow's partnership with her ex in caring for their kids is a very good and important one.I imagine anyone going through a divorce would find her personal narrative very comforting and helpful, and the advice to avoid duking it out with lawyers (and spending huge sums of money in the process) is excellent. It seems like this was a book that needed to be out there. Some have brought up the fact that of course her husband's point of view is not here, and that it's therefore unfair...and true, there is quite a bit of negative stuff about him, but there is also positive, and Swallow is as hard on herself as anyone.
Rating:
Summary: If only we had "no stars" available...
Review: It seems to me that if more time and effort were spent with our families, our loved ones, our significant others - the world would be a far better place. And not only because the warm fuzzies would abound. Because there would be less cause for books such as this to be written. It's not enough that the author internally blames everyone else for her problems; she has to tell us all about it, too. I'm a fan of true "self-help" as much as the next person... however, this book helps no one. (Perhaps not even the author, who - though apparently trying to reach some semblence of catharsis - is so vapid and self-absorbed she will probably lose whatever respect she has from her children the moment they read this piece of "woe is me" drivel. Don't waste your time. If you're going through a rough spot in your marriage, if you're thinking of a divorce, if you're currently going through a divorce, or if you're recently divorced (or, if you're close to someone who falls into any of the preceding categories), do yourself a favor - go see a therapist. It may cost a bit more, but you'll actually do yourself some good.
Rating: 
Summary: I have a moral problem with this book
Review: John Irving wrote a short story called "Almost in Iowa", which appears in the "Trying to Save Piggy Sneed" compilation. On his notes about this story, Irving says: "I feel most strongly that writers who have children, and who have been divorced, should not write about their divorces; to do so is a form of child abuse". My feelings entirely. Wendy Swallow rehashes painful moments of her marriage for the world (and her children) to commiserate with her. This book is slightly exhibitionistic and downright exculpatory, but more than anything, it is personal, and she is robbing her children from something very precious.
Rating: 
Summary: Just what I needed to hear...
Review: More than once while reading this book, I found myself moved to tears. My situation was very different from Swallow's, but that's what makes the book so touching: her ability to really capture her own emotions during a tumultuous time and lay them bare. Rather than being self-pitying, as some of the more vitriolic reviewers have accused her of being, I believe that her ability to separate herself from her emotions well enough to write about them so effectively deserves commendation. Whether your family and friends support your decision to divorce or not, it is a lonely, difficult time. It was worth every penny I spent on this book to hear that I am not alone in feeling the things I am. If that means I am wallowing in self-pity, so be it. I wallowed with Swallow and I am the better for it.
Rating:
Summary: Engrossing account of a marriage and divorce
Review: Ms. Swallow is to be commended for her honesty and courage in recounting the story of her marriage and divorce. Although my first reaction to seeing the book was "who wants to read about THAT," I found the book to be very engrossing and a refreshing change from the "how to recover and get on with your life" genre. The book is an honest, tell it like it is account of the myriad conflicting feelings one experiences when deciding to end a marriage. She also shares honestly her experiences with the challenges of single parenting, dating, finances, and establishing a new life. She is to be commended for putting the childrens' well-being above all else and investing in counseling (along with her ex) to improve their custodial parenting skills. One of the book's most poignant passages tells of her realization that her ex was not fighting for joint custody out of revenge, but out of genuine love for his sons. She realized the terrible loss either of them would face if the other had full custody. The steps that she and her ex took to resolve their issues and maintain constructive communication should be helpful to anyone in this situation. Although not a self-help book, Breaking Apart demonstrates in its own way that one does emerge from the chaos of divorce, life reaches an even keel again, and one is wiser and deeper for going through the process.
Rating:
Summary: The Emotional Rubble.........
Review: My own divorce experience is rather different fromMs. Swallow's. Instead of an active participant, as she was, I was a13 year old child in the center of a nasty divorce. Now 3 years later,I can look back into it with eyes that are slightly less emotional,but until a week ago, their own feelings, however torrential andvisable, were something of a mystery to me. Until I read BreakingApart. As I opened the book, it was a mystery to me. Why I read thebook is something of a mystery to me, as memoirs have often struck meas an indulgent genre, the chicken fried steak of literature. But asmy eyes darted into and through the book (I read its 352 pages inabout 1.5 hours), something clarified within me. ThroughMs. Swallows's clear, engaging prose, I learned what it meant to gothrough divorce as an participant. The sorrow of being torn apart fromyour partner dawned upon me. The similarties between a childs and awives divorce experiences shocked me. I remembered, as did swallow,the feelings of destruction of yourself, that you are dust in a cruelworld. It is a beautiful, powerful book. ... Please press the little"order the book" button to get this deeply moovingmemoir. Even if you have never been subjected to the perticularravages of divorce, read it to learn something about the world, readit because it is beautifully written, read it because it is a powerfulbook.
Rating:
Summary: Honesty and Clarity
Review: The honesty in Wendy Swallow's memior of divorce is what defines this book. Told by a 37 year old professional and mother, in the clinches of divorce, by personal choice, the memior puts into words the pain, guilt and freedom inherent in redefining oneself after leaving a marriage. It is not a journey through a custody battle, but a journey through the psyche of a women and the emotional obstacles she faces as she searches for the person she wants to be.
Rating:
Summary: Required reading for every married couple that fights!
Review: This book had me teary-eyed in the introduction when the author wrote about two photos she keeps of her kids on her desk. One, taken at the beach, was the last she took of her innocent sons before her parents "ripped their world apart by divorcing." The value of this book is the author's ability to articulate the disappointment of the realities of married life. I found it more helpful than any self-help book I've ever read --and I've read tons. As her story (and her pain) was unfolding, I kept wanting to recommend good books to her! (The Dance of Anger, by Harriet Lerner especially.) By describing the "reality" of what your divorce fantasies could lead to, I think this book can save a lot of marriages. Anyone who fights with their spouse and is even considering the option of divorce should read it. What horrified me at first --"Joint Custody" -- in the end did seem truly the best solution for everyone because of all the steps the author and her ex-husband took to help the other out as a single parent in the best interest of their kids. But I know I can't stand to be away from my kids for even 24 hours ... the reality of divorce is that you do lose significant time with your kids. Even absent fathers sometimes gain custody later on as kids idolize the non-custodial parent.
The author covers everything. Inept lawyers. Depression. Loneliness. Finding support. In one part where one of her married friends confides about kissing a coworker in the elevator-- confessing how exciting it was-- the author (rightfully) says : "Don't do it! Think of your children! Don't EVER stop thinking of your children."
Rating:
Summary: Could not finish...
Review: This book was rather dull and painful to read. I attempted to read this book while waiting for an appointment. Fortunately, I was called into my IRS audit before I was forced to read too much out of sheer boredom... The audit was FAR less painful than this book.
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