Rating: 
Summary: For women who have chosen to stay married.
Review: I would say that this book is not recommended for women who are engaged or newlyweds. I will say that this book appealed to me because I have chosen to stay in my marriage because of my young children. This book dealt with reality for me. Yes I know that there are some wonderful men out there, but some women are married to men who are just like what was spoken of in this book. Sometimes it is best to just to "let him win" for the sake of not arguing. I've been married 10 years and I've stressed myself out continuously trying to reason and discuss issues that are important to me. We've been to counseling and to our pastor. I've cried and prayed. Nothing has worked because unless both spouses acknowledge that they need to work in a relationship, the same battles will continuously occur. I have always been the one to seek peace and growth in my marriage therefore, I will take atleast 3/4 of the advice just for my own sanity. Yes we would all like to have a mature relationship where we can sit down and discuss issues reasonably and grow together. Sometimes this doesn't happen. The issue the author mentions regarding sex was so accurate. Like Nike -Just do It! This book helped me realize that I'm not the only one who has experienced many of the issues raised. Again I would only recommend this book for women who have decided to stay in their marriage regardless of the problems with the relationship (after they have tried counseling).
Rating:
Summary: Too Many Rules Can Spoil the Marriage -- Trying Talking!
Review: If I counted correctly, this book has 43 official rules, 20 subrules, more suggestions in an appendix, and 15 extra hints. The book is totally written from a women's perspective. The assumption is that men don't want to improve their marriages. Somewhere in the book, you will probably get an idea for how to handle part of your marriage better. On the other hand, the book treats marriage like it is a game to be played rather than a relationship to be developed, expanded, and nurtured. Men are to be kept satisfied in almost every possible way, and women are encouraged to complain to their married friends to get relief from being a doormat for men. The book is also based on the perspectives of the authors rather than on any scientific evidence. I graded the book up one star for the candor shown by admitting that one of the authors was separated from her husband. The book makes one statement that most would agree with. "The truth is, marriage isn't easy." You are encouraged to make "The Rules for Marriage . . . a way of life." As a result, "we don't recommend discussing this book with your husband, or asking him to read it." " . . . [H]e doesn't like to think that you have to read a book to learn to deal with him." While admitting that your husband could be different, the authors come down on the side of the idea that "to be happily maried, a woman sometimes needs to treat her husband as a customer whom she wants to keep happy . . . ." When my wife and I were married, I think we got better advice. We were each encouraged to try to do at least 60 percent of the total effort to make the marriage work. That approach has worked well. In the spirit of full disclosure, my wife and I each have been divorced so this is a second marriage for us. We each agree that you both have to really work at building your marriage. As I read through the list in the book, I saw many opinions expressed that are greatly at odds with my personal feelings. Frankly, if my wife followed this advice, our marriage would not be as good. I would come out ahead in some situations where I don't do so well now, but she would be miserable. My motto is: "If the women are happy, the men are happy." I suspect that if she was miserable, I would be even more miserable. Many of the rules here are just trying to capture common sense about being respectful of another person. You can give a person respect without ruining your own sense of self-worth though. Let me take an example here to help you understand the book better. Rule 9 is "Let him win." In the detail, there is an exception for when "it is a crucial issue for you." I think a better approach is to simply sit down sometime when you are both agreeable to do so, and share with your spouse what areas you strongly care about and where you feel comfortable feeling flexible. Then take the areas where you both feel strongly, and see what compromises are fair to both of you. For example, if you are from different religions, maybe you can share some observances with each other. The book needs a lot more about divorce and remarriage. These are whole book subjects, and get short shrift here. I believe there are more remarriages now in the United States than first marriages each year. This book is primarily written from the perspective of someone marrying for the first time. The book also seems inconsistent. While arguing that women should lie down and let men have their way, the book draws the line at one instance of adultery by the husband. That means the marriage is over, even if you stay married. I feel that if a woman feels that way, she should be sure her husband knows that in advance. Most men I know wouldn't expect that reaction from their wives. I expect a marriage-ending reaction from my wife, because she has told me she feels that way. I think that's a good example of the importance of sharing what you think and how you feel with one another (although not overdoing it). I am a big fan of Dr. Phil McGraw's books, Relationship Rescue and the Relationship Rescue Workbook. I suggest that you read those books and do the exercises with your fiancee and spouse before you have problems. You will clear up a lot of potential misunderstandings that way. Avoid this rule-based approach. Provide a happy home for your spouse . . . and yourself by becoming a mutually-understanding, mutually-communicating, and mutually-supportive team who love one another in as many ways as possible. May God bless your marriage!
Rating: 
Summary: Good Grief
Review: If we follow the rules of marriage does that mean we will get divorced too??? The book itself is really short--not even 200 pages, so thankfully there are not a lot of rules that could lead to divorce. Most of the book is common sense and I can't imagine why a person would buy a book like this that tells them what to do and how to think when they can act and think for themselves. Good Grief!!!!
Rating:
Summary: Save your money
Review: If you really must read this "book" I suggest you stand at the loacl book store on a lunch break for a couple days and whiz thru it. The whole idea of marriage is give and take and helpmates. If you want a GREAT book on marriage read THE GOOD MARRIAGE : HOW AND WHY LOVE LASTS by Judith S. Wallerstein.
There is nothing I detest more than a hypocrite, and one like Ellen Fein who writes a book while getting a divorce, then uses EXCUSES, like she was doing a book tour etc, rather than walking her talk makes me want to to hurl! I have been married 34 years and this book is so lopsided and in my husbands opinion demeans REAL men. These women have this theory that wives should smile and simply say yes, yes, yes all the time. They have no idea what the real world is all about and make the dumbest suggestions, as if women were robots or brainless. Can you imagine Justice Sandra Day O Connor or Barbara Bush, BOTH married close to or over 50 years being doormats for their husbands? Better yet can you imagine any well educated man wanting a wife who would allow herself to be a doormat? These two women are no better than the hyping televangelists who say one thing and do the opposite. They should hang their heads in shame, as should the publisher. This isn't about anything else but making a fast buck!
Rating:
Summary: Minus 5 stars
Review: Incredible that a publisher would agree to print this junk. Only in America. I'm satisfied with being in good company with the rest of the reviews. No need to beat a dead horse. If you are even considering buying and following the Rules, there may be bigger problems than just marital. And the authors? They're sitting back counting their money, having a good chuckle.
Rating: 
Summary: Useful for modern, self-centered women
Review: It depends somewhat, for who this book is helpful. There are many strong, somewhat reckless momen out there today, who think they can 'have it all'. These sex-in-the-city like women often blame men for their failures. For those women the rules are helpful to see the relationships more in balance. But they probably will hate the book the most too.
To women with an already pleasing attitude, it might do more harm, because it doesn't help much to boost their self-esteem.
Rating:
Summary: The book must not work.
Review: Just for those who were interested, Ellen Fein, the author of this book, is getting a divorce. Either she's not practicing what she preaches or what she preaches doesn't work.
Rating:
Summary: WORST
Review: Maybe these rules were the way back in the day of Father Knows Best, but times have changed since then-- there's been this concept known as womens lib! Seriously, I opened the book and scanned down the shortened versions of the rules and just laughed out loud-- even showed the hubby, who decided he 'liked this book!' because everything in it is about giving him his way and bending to him and caving to him. I read the whole book, just because I spent the money-- but I could not relate or agree to hardly any of it. What about marriage being an equal partnership? And what about both of you being responsible for making the relationship work? This book tries to tell you it's okay to be the ultimate doormat. Hated this book!
Rating:
Summary: These authors are stuck in a 1940's time warp
Review: Maybe these rules were the way back in the day of Father Knows Best, but times have changed since then-- there's been this concept known as womens lib! Seriously, I opened the book and scanned down the shortened versions of the rules and just laughed out loud-- even showed the hubby, who decided he 'liked this book!' because everything in it is about giving him his way and bending to him and caving to him. I read the whole book, just because I spent the money-- but I could not relate or agree to hardly any of it. What about marriage being an equal partnership? And what about both of you being responsible for making the relationship work? This book tries to tell you it's okay to be the ultimate doormat. Hated this book!
Rating:
Summary: Too Many Inaccurate Rules
Review: There are many rules to follow in this book. Many of them were ridiculous however, a few were very true. Particularly the rule that says never criticize or say anything negative about his parents. He will always defend them. I only agreed with a select few rules in this book.
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