Rating: 
Summary: Please . . .don't read this.
Review: I am by no means condemning anybody, but books like this would be much better left unwritten. Almost all people of any religious faith and many, many more without but with moral standards would agree that the ideas put forth in this book are reprehensible. It is not about pleasing your God or your religion whatever it may be, it is about the real values of honesty, trust and commitment . . respect for ourselves and our partners. If you do not value these three things, than by all means go ahead and read. Just try to keep away from society in general, because you are a dishonest and untrustworthy person, most likely capable of committing all sorts of crimes and errors.
Rating: 
Summary: Hats Off to Ms. Brandt
Review: I am so glad that Ms. Brandt had the guts and the gumption to research and write about such a taboo subject as affairs. I had just come out of a three year relationship when a friend of mine recommended I read the book. I was shocked at first, but now I'm really glad that I read it. It opened my eyes to the realistic truth behind romantic love and showed me how and why oftentimes relationships just don't work over the long haul. I don't intend to go and have an affair in the future,but hey, if I ever did (or my partner did) now I would understand how and how not to handle it. Ms. Brandt's witty and clever writing style made it difficult to put the book down. I will definitely get a couple copies of this book to give to friends (both men and women).
Rating: 
Summary: Annoying, with a few nuggets
Review: I found the whole evolutionary psychology bit to be annoying - I simply don't buy that I want to cheat on my husband because I'm trying to "trade up" in the gene pool. If that's the case, why am I looking for less attractive partners so that I don't get too involved? I just wanted the rules, not some hair-brained discourse on why monkeys cheat. On the other hand, the rules are very good (and if that's all you want, just start on pg. 121), and they helped me to realize that it would require much trouble and deceit to run around on a guy that I love to death. I'm not going to feel bad about the occasional conference fling, but I'm not going to put any energy into a long time affair. Maybe that was the whole point of the book.
Rating: 
Summary: Fascinating Review of a Taboo Subject
Review: I had the opportunity to read this book while on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. I was so totally engrossed in the book that I didn't hear a young infant crying during the flight. The gentleman sitting next to me was amazed that I remained so engaged in the book with all the noise around me. The author's use of clinical, matter-of-fact, and clever humorous prose were very effective at keeping me enthralled in a subject that many might see as taboo. The gentleman asked what I was reading and I told him. His first impressions, one of disbelief and slight embarrassment, were what I would have expected. He politely turned away to focus on something else. However, as I continued to read I noticed that he was constantly eyeing the pages. I believe that his interest in the book is the same for many who want to know more about spotting or engaging in an extramarital affair but are uncomfortable with the subject. To tell you the truth, that's why I ordered the book online, no prying eyes to judge me. Interestingly, after reading the book and reflecting on what was communicated I can honestly look back over the +20 years of my adult life and say that I've seen much of what was succinctly stated in the book. Believe it or not the book actually provided me with a level of comfort. I had better insight into why we do the things (socially right or wrong) we do when it comes to sexual relationships. I have no interest in participating in an affair. However, having read this book gives me a leg-up on those who do.
Rating:
Summary: Wow. How low can you go
Review: I have a real problem with the "how-to" aspect of this book. It's a training manual for theives, only the things stolen and destroyed here are far more precious than money. I wonder if that's why the author stays as far away from the wronged spouse as possible. Is it because she doesn't want to be reminded of her victim?
Rating:
Summary: Wow. How low can you go
Review: I have a real problem with the "how-to" aspect of this book. It's a training manual for theives, only the things stolen and destroyed here are far more precious than money. I wonder if that's why the author stays as far away from the wronged spouse as possible. Is it because she doesn't want to be reminded of her victim?
Rating:
Summary: I actually learned something new.
Review: I have been going through some tough times with my marriage and a friend kind of shocked me by giving me this book, not so much because of the adultery aspect, but because she said that there was good information about why we marry in the first place and why we pick whom we pick- and then get tired of them. I had never actually thought about any of this in terms of anything really beyond the romantic myths we are handed as kids. The information here really opened my eyes, being as there are many scientific reasons for getting married and, it appears for wanting to get out.
Rating:
Summary: Good book that helps explain the "how" and the "why"
Review: I purchased this book thinking it was more of a "how to" on having an affair. While it does lay out very definite rules & mechanics of affairs, I felt it did a great job covering the physiology and psychology behind the drive as well. Having fairly recently gone through a breakup of my "affair" this book really helped me see things more objectively. It showed me that while my feelings of "true love" were quite real; they were also based on other physiological, etc. factors in play. And that in all likelihood my leaving my spouse for my lover would not have been a good move since it would likely have not turned out as successfully as I would have thought. In brief, I enjoyed Ms. Brandt's frank, candid, and non-judgemental discussion of adultery. It's definitely a good read for anyone who is involved with, contemplated, or experienced an affair and would like to get answers or see it for what it really is. It really helped me to accept the realities and move on.
Rating:
Summary: Repulsive display of selfishness and skank by the author
Review: I saw this woman on Crossfire the other evening. When queried by the commentators, she was forced to admit that adultery is "wrong". Yet, later into the show, she repeatedly denied having any guilt about her own adulterous affairs. Hmm, if you are committing wrongs and yet feel no guilt about it, what does that say about your character? And what does the fact that this book is actually getting good reviews from some people say about the state of the "American character"? Has it become loose and skanky? Something is very crass and rotten about the author and her book.
Rating:
Summary: Too bad a book can't be rated at a "0"
Review: I think one of the comments made by Ms. Brandt that stands out more than any other is the fact that she feels that, even more than honesty in a relationship, its important to "do no harm." As a man who has been married and in love with his wife for 11 years, I offer two pieces of advice in response to this assertion on the part of Ms. Brandt:
1) "Do no harm" is an oath that doctors take; however, on the alter, couples promise to be faithful and "to forsake all others." I think Ms. Brandt is really saying with this comment that we should "do everything possible to avoid harm to ourselves, but forget about your spouse and/or the person you are having the affair with." Its a "me at all costs" philosophy.
2) I have a way of guaranteeing that you "do no harm" to your spouse... just be faithful. Be honest and trustworthy, and, above all, don't cheat on them. If you have an affair and you get caught, you WILL do harm, even if you lie about it and "deny, deny, deny." Even if you don't get caught, the chances that you will harm your relationship are good. BUT, if you stick to your vows, you'll have the best chance at succeeding in marriage. ... ;-) David
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