Rating: 
Summary: The Best Birthmother Memoir
Review: "The Other Mother" by Carol Schaefer is still the best memoir written by a woman who gave up a child for adoption. Although many others have come out since, none have surpassed it. In many ways, Carol's experience as a middle-class pregnant single woman in the 1960's is the archetypal adoption story, especially for those birthmothers whose families sent them off to Homes for Unwed Mothers. She tells her story in plain, vivid, and very moving style, that lends itself well to the movie this book became. As a birthmother myself, I found that every word rang true. The reunion portion of the book is the fairytale that most birthmothers long for, but few achieve. Carol Schaefer handles this material with rare humility and grace--what in lesser hands could have become self-congratulatory and smug is presented here with wonder and gratitude--the wonderful reunion as a gift, not a right, nor the result of "doing it right." This is a fine book for anyone to read--but it is especially relevant to those touched by adoption. Adult adoptees can learn a lot about what many birthmothers experienced in the 60's, and adoptive parents can gain insight into the "other side" of the adoption coin--the pain that became their joy. Birthmothers can see their own experience validated and brought out into the light in Carol's story--they will find themselves saying "yes, that is how it was, that is how it feels." This is a well-written, sincere, and lovely book, and the author's generous and kind soul shines through every page. I highly recommend it! Mary Anne Manning Cohen: Birthmother, Poet, Origins Co-Founder
Rating:
Summary: The Best Birthmother Memoir
Review: "The Other Mother" by Carol Schaefer is still the best memoir written by a woman who gave up a child for adoption. Although many others have come out since, none have surpassed it. In many ways, Carol's experience as a middle-class pregnant single woman in the 1960's is the archetypal adoption story, especially for those birthmothers whose families sent them off to Homes for Unwed Mothers. She tells her story in plain, vivid, and very moving style, that lends itself well to the movie this book became. As a birthmother myself, I found that every word rang true. The reunion portion of the book is the fairytale that most birthmothers long for, but few achieve. Carol Schaefer handles this material with rare humility and grace--what in lesser hands could have become self-congratulatory and smug is presented here with wonder and gratitude--the wonderful reunion as a gift, not a right, nor the result of "doing it right." This is a fine book for anyone to read--but it is especially relevant to those touched by adoption. Adult adoptees can learn a lot about what many birthmothers experienced in the 60's, and adoptive parents can gain insight into the "other side" of the adoption coin--the pain that became their joy. Birthmothers can see their own experience validated and brought out into the light in Carol's story--they will find themselves saying "yes, that is how it was, that is how it feels." This is a well-written, sincere, and lovely book, and the author's generous and kind soul shines through every page. I highly recommend it! Mary Anne Manning Cohen: Birthmother, Poet, Origins Co-Founder
Rating:
Summary: Eye opening story..........
Review: ........I truly learned so much from reading Carol Schaefer's personal story about giving her son up for adoption. This is a story that anyone with any connection to the world of adoption should read and benefit from. I am a future adoptive mother and I was horrified at how Carol was treated when she was a young vulnerable women who found herself in the difficult situation of facing an unexpected pregnancy. This story really shows the psychological torture that brithmothers can experience, especially in situations where they really do not wish to give their children up for adoption, but are coerced. After reading this book, I am convinced that someday, when I am an adoptive mother, I will want an open adoption for the sake of my child and his or her birthmother.
Rating: 
Summary: A Peek Into the Grief of a Birth Mother
Review: A highly personal peek into a not-so-long-ago way of handling adoptions. This book provides an amazing amount of insight into the emotional upheaval the birth mother undergoes through pregnancy, adoption and the rest of her life, as well that of her parents, the birth father, siblings and the relationships and family that follow. The "return policy" was certainly an eye opener! An adoptive mother loaned me this book, and even though I am of the same generation as the author, the treatment of the unwed mother was barbaric, insensitive, shocking and the lack of counseling just another way in which society has failed. A "must read" for most adoptees and adoptive parents, but also instructional for anyone who has ever known anyone involved in the adoption process.
That said, the book is also very dated. For more recent adoptees and parents, the experience is very different. Even though published in 1992, much of the information is now more readily accessible thanks to the Internet.
Rating:
Summary: Can I give it 10 stars? A MUST READ!!!
Review: A must read for anyone connected to an adoption... 5 stars is just not enough! I am a 37 year old adoptee that has finally made the decision to find my birthparents.
My stomach did flips through the entire book. What really intrigued me is that I have the same exact feelings as Carol (a birthparent), but I am an adoptee. How is that so? I could feel everything Carol went through with tremendous emotion. I felt so connected to every wince of her pain. Each experience she described tore open my heart, yet I felt comfort in it. I have never been able to identify with another on such a strong level. The book was an experience and I am sure I will read it once or twice more. Just like a roller coaster. If you are a birthparent, adoptee or an adoptive parent you owe it to yourself to read this book - trust me. Your own feelings will jump off of every page and hit you right in the heart. Absolutely incredible!
Rating:
Summary: This memoir gives insight into how birthmothers never forget
Review: All children grow in their parents' hearts from the time of their conception. For some mothers, the children who've grown in hearts and wombs must still be given up, supposedly for the good of the child. Carol Schaefer's memoir and search reminds us all that one never gets over the loss of a child, even one given up into adoption. This book will speak loudly to birthparents and adoptees of the circumstances that lead to so many children being given up in some decades ago. Her pain will help us see why so many fewer young women choose this route if they have any choices at all. The book will also help adoptive parents to realize why the women who've given them their children do not, and cannot, forget those children.
Rating:
Summary: A "can't put down" account of a birthmother's pain & joy
Review: An extremely honest book detailing what Carol went through at the maternity home where she was isolated and alone at 19. It really helped me, as an adoptee, to understand what birthmothers who surrender under closed adoption records go through. Somehow Carol has managed to write this account with a great deal of humor. What a gutsy girl she was at 19 and is now that she and her son have been reunited. After reading The Other Mother and seeing the TV movie which followed, I was privileged to meet both Carol and Jack at an adoption conference. My autographed (by both of them) copy is one of my prized possessions!!
Rating:
Summary: A most important work about a birthmother's experience
Review: As a psychotherapist and an adopted person, I highly recommend this book. From pregnancy to reunion, this book is unparalleled in it's description of the birthmother experience. The author pulls no punches and this book delivers.
Rating:
Summary: If you know someone affected by adoption-this book is a must
Review: As the leader of a post-adoption support group, this book was on the high on the recommended reading list for those affected by an adoption. As a society we must come to understand our birthmothers. As a segment of society birthmothers are very misunderstood. The Other Mother can help someone who is not a birthmother understand the much more of the experience. Yes, birthmothers love their babies when they surrender and continue to love them the rest of their lives. Everyone should read this book, especially if you know someone touched by adoption.
Rating:
Summary: From an adoptive mother
Review: As the mother of two children through adoption, I read this book in order to better understand a birthmother's experience and have some idea as to how to answer my children's questions. I am so grateful to Carol for sharing her story with me, I will never be the same. I will never understand what it is like to be a birthmom but Carol gave me a peek into their world and for every birthmother reading this...I am so sorry for the sorrow you had to feel for me to feel my joy. I was blessed as my daughters birthmother placed my daughter in my arms...at 16 years of age, what extraordinary strength. I hope that I am half the adoptive mother that Rosemary was when it is our turn to reunite. What grace she exhibited. This triad is blessed!
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