Ties That Stress: The New Family Imbalance

Rating:
Summary: ties that stress. is it really that insightful?
Review: although elkind does give some insights into the new post modern family, he merely points out and reiterates the obvious. elkind makes mention of the shift in familial focus from child centred to adult centred . but all adults work and make schedule acommodations for their children. daycares and afterschool cares are a neccessity because in order for parents to earn a livelihood to provide for their children, they must be able to be in a surrounding in which they can do that. this means they need to work and thus they find suitable care for their children while they are away. elkind also makes mention of a vital family and how this is what people should be striving for. again, this seems quite obvious. no parent wants to miss his/her child's recital or sporting event. no parent wants to have his/her child growing up in an unstructured environment. all of the qualities of the vital family that elkind describes, is what most families are trying to achieve. his insights here are not profound nor are they even innovative. it is easy for an academic such as himself to stand back and critique society. what is he doing to change these "deficiencies" that he comments about? as a sociologist, elkind writes his book as if he is a historian. dates and events are written in such a manner that appears to be fact, while in essence he is simply making value judgements. ties that stress is a book which gives a good outline on societal problems. what it lacks in is an ability to instill in the reader a sense of activism. after reading ties that stress, i felt no sense of wanting to change the faults that elkind found. instead, i felt like i was being told what i was suppose to think because elkind deemed it so.

Rating:
Summary: ties that stress. is it really that insightful?
Review: although elkind does give some insights into the new post modern family, he merely points out and reiterates the obvious. elkind makes mention of the shift in familial focus from child centred to adult centred . but all adults work and make schedule acommodations for their children. daycares and afterschool cares are a neccessity because in order for parents to earn a livelihood to provide for their children, they must be able to be in a surrounding in which they can do that. this means they need to work and thus they find suitable care for their children while they are away. elkind also makes mention of a vital family and how this is what people should be striving for. again, this seems quite obvious. no parent wants to miss his/her child's recital or sporting event. no parent wants to have his/her child growing up in an unstructured environment. all of the qualities of the vital family that elkind describes, is what most families are trying to achieve. his insights here are not profound nor are they even innovative. it is easy for an academic such as himself to stand back and critique society. what is he doing to change these "deficiencies" that he comments about? as a sociologist, elkind writes his book as if he is a historian. dates and events are written in such a manner that appears to be fact, while in essence he is simply making value judgements. ties that stress is a book which gives a good outline on societal problems. what it lacks in is an ability to instill in the reader a sense of activism. after reading ties that stress, i felt no sense of wanting to change the faults that elkind found. instead, i felt like i was being told what i was suppose to think because elkind deemed it so.

Rating:
Summary: It's all about your lifestyle!!!!
Review: Although I have not read this book, I feel compelled to provide a "rebuttal" to Scott's views. He wrote that all parents have to work, which indicates to me that he is buying into the great cultural lie that exists today. It is indicative of the parent-centered world that modern America has created. My partner works outside the home, I am a full-time mother. Contrary to what you may be thinking when I make that statement, we are by no means even "middle-middle" class. In fact, we survive on VERY little money at the moment. We simply have undemanding lifestyles! We don't have brand-new cars, we have a very modest home that meets our needs but is not large or extravagant, I don't get my nails done, we don't eat out often, etc. As parents, you must ask yourself honestly which is more important: do you want to live like most Americans (or Brits, or Canadians, or other industrialized countries' citizens), who are in debt up to their eyeballs and push their kids off on strangers to rear them just so you can drive a cool car or have a home that is too large for your needs; or do you want to live modestly, at least until your child is old enough and responsible enough to care for himself, so that your child turns out well-adjusted and secure? Be honest with yourself. Make your own choice. I won't down you for it, but my choice is to live a calm, uncluttered life that will benefit my son.

Rating:
Summary: It's all about your lifestyle!!!!
Review: Although I have not read this book, I feel compelled to provide a "rebuttal" to Scott's views. He wrote that all parents have to work, which indicates to me that he is buying into the great cultural lie that exists today. It is indicative of the parent-centered world that modern America has created. My partner works outside the home, I am a full-time mother. Contrary to what you may be thinking when I make that statement, we are by no means even "middle-middle" class. In fact, we survive on VERY little money at the moment. We simply have undemanding lifestyles! We don't have brand-new cars, we have a very modest home that meets our needs but is not large or extravagant, I don't get my nails done, we don't eat out often, etc. As parents, you must ask yourself honestly which is more important: do you want to live like most Americans (or Brits, or Canadians, or other industrialized countries' citizens), who are in debt up to their eyeballs and push their kids off on strangers to rear them just so you can drive a cool car or have a home that is too large for your needs; or do you want to live modestly, at least until your child is old enough and responsible enough to care for himself, so that your child turns out well-adjusted and secure? Be honest with yourself. Make your own choice. I won't down you for it, but my choice is to live a calm, uncluttered life that will benefit my son.

Rating:
Summary: It's all about your lifestyle!!!!
Review: Although I have not read this book, I feel compelled to provide a "rebuttal" to Scott's views. He wrote that all parents have to work, which indicates to me that he is buying into the great cultural lie that exists today. It is indicative of the parent-centered world that modern America has created. My partner works outside the home, I am a full-time mother. Contrary to what you may be thinking when I make that statement, we are by no means even "middle-middle" class. In fact, we survive on VERY little money at the moment. We simply have undemanding lifestyles! We don't have brand-new cars, we have a very modest home that meets our needs but is not large or extravagant, I don't get my nails done, we don't eat out often, etc. As parents, you must ask yourself honestly which is more important: do you want to live like most Americans (or Brits, or Canadians, or other industrialized countries' citizens), who are in debt up to their eyeballs and push their kids off on strangers to rear them just so you can drive a cool car or have a home that is too large for your needs; or do you want to live modestly, at least until your child is old enough and responsible enough to care for himself, so that your child turns out well-adjusted and secure? Be honest with yourself. Make your own choice. I won't down you for it, but my choice is to live a calm, uncluttered life that will benefit my son.

Rating:
Summary: A Fine Analysis and A Lot to Ponder
Review: I grew up in the 50s but raised my children in the 70s, 80s, and 90s. My feeling is that Elkind has analyzed the changes in American families very accurately. He has NOT said that everything was wonderful before nor that everything is dreadful now. But I do believe he is correct when he says that the imbalance in the 50s was in favor of the child and the imbalance now is in favor of the parents.

I don't consider myself any sort of fanatic, but I was a stay at home mom myself and our children seem to have turned out very well. I agree with the reviewer who said that it is not always necessary to have two incomes to support a family. It IS however necessary to make intelligent choices about what a family wants and needs. There is a lot that makes life worth living that doesn't have to be paid for with money. Maybe having a mother at home is the greatest luxury a family can choose as far as impact on life style and living. Kids don't need multiple after school classes and sports events to be well developed or happy. That doesn't mean they shouldn't have any. But people can choose and plan and have a wonderful life without two incomes.

This book will give you many different ways of thinking about what a family is, what a family can be, what individual development can mean. If you are serious about making the best choices for your family, Elkind's books deserve special attention.

...

Rating:
Summary: How traditional is tradition?
Review: The trouble with Elkind's work - all of it - is that he assumes it's natural for a child to have a free period of childhood, unconstrained by the needt o earn or the needs of the family as a whole. Even in recent years this has only ever been available in fairly affluent societies, and before the beginning of the nineteenth century it was available to very few, and not seen as desirable by many either. Most children in traditional rural families worked, though not unbearably hard unless in a mining area or so poor that they were apprenticed to chimneysweeps. Most of them had to take responsibility for younger siblings and for animals too. Many had paid jobs as casual labourers or apprentices from an early age. And their mothers worked too - in mills after industrialisation, on farms or as servants before it. The family and lifestyle Elkind takes to be central to 'normal' childhood is as recent as railroads, and most of the world's population would still regard the whole setup as a luxury.

Does he believe that all children from before 1800 were pathological spcimens?