Rating: Summary: Permissiveness and pets Review: A harrowing and moving description of life with an angry teenager. Digges rejected residential placement and medication is not mentioned. The therapist she found most helpful was Eduardo Bustamente, the author of "Treating the Disruptive Adolescent". The treatment regime, as she describes it, was that of abandonment of any attempt at limit-setting, combined with taking in a number of pet animals. The results seem satisfactory so far, judging by this account, I think that what Bustamente helped most with was the mother's feeling of guilt. Many of of these parents feel they must take the blame for their children's misbehavior. The book will be useful to parents who suffer this kind of worry about what their friends and family and neighbors think. Digges was helped by knowing she had raised an exemplary older son. She also seems to like animals herself. The writing is beautful and poetic, and even contains poetry. as well as diary entries, letters to schools, and extracts from Jane Goodall's observations of apes. In fact it is rather too literary to be a self-help book I would recommend to most parents. It is not written at a practical advice-giving level.
Rating: Summary: Music to my ears Review: As a single mother of a teen, I have to say that Digges' Stardust Lounge was music to my ears. The difficulties she faced with her son Stephen are are too common. I know! What I most appreciated was how Digges refused blame and victimhood. Her book has given me courage to face my own problems with my son, the school system, the courts, and my son's circle of friends. This book is a must for any parent. Digges kept her faith and her humor through the toughest times. I'm hoping my boy will read it too!
Rating: Summary: Courage and poetry in a remarkable memoir! Review: Deborah Digges is obviously a brave woman, because both the way she helped her son through his troubled -- i.e. gang-running -- adolescence and her honesty in writing about it are stunningly courageous. This is one of the most beautiful pieces of writing I've had the pleasure of reading in quite some time. The author's prose is extraordinary -- deeply emotional without the slightest trace of sentimentality. For anyone interested in great writing, anyone interested in personal stories and memoirs, anyone who has or was a difficult teenager, anyone who has or is or will be a parent (in other words, everybody), this is a must read! Unforgettable.
Rating: Summary: BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN; EMOTIONALLY CHARGED! Review: For anyone who has ever had a child they believe to be out of control, this is a must read book. As a counsellor, it is a known fact there are not many parents who would abandon conventionial methods of therapy for the non-traditional. Deborah Digges did just that when she sought help from a non-traditional therapist for her thirteen year old son, Stephen, who was alrady toting guns, stealing, and doing drugs. In the words of her therapist, "Join him in his anger at life. Don't educate him in what he should have done. Let him figure it out." The world could certainly use more therapists with this type of modern-day philosophy - it would open endless possibilities, particularly in dealing with teen-related issues.What follows is a bizzare lifestyle reminiscent of the Bohemian trend of the 60's - virtually anything goes! With the aloof attitude, "you sleep where you drop," munching on fast food and pizzas as the fair-of-the-day, and opening her home to gang members who would give most mothers an acute panic attack, the book is full of surprises. Ultimately, they are surprises that work. It is a modern day version, of "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" philosophy. The most enjoyable element of this off-beat, true-to-life tale is the author's light-hearted, witty writing style. Faced with overhwhelming adversity from teachers and law enforcement officers, her incredible determination will win the hearts of any parent who happens to think no other parent on Earth could possibly be going through "this insane pile of sh..!" Hats off to Deborah Diggs. She is a woman with a purpose and a mission, clearly treading where few mothers dare to go. The book teaches a powerful message in a rather unorthodox manner.
Rating: Summary: Stunning, moving book Review: I first heard about this book on the Dianne Reemes show. Lots of controversy-- so I HAD to buy it. I'm glad I did. This book is so intelligently written. I loved the lists, letters, even the police reports Digges uses to further the narrative. The story itself is stunning.The ending is a knock-out! I just had to say how beautifully crafted this book is, as well as moving, and memorable.
Rating: Summary: A healing book for these troubled times Review: I just finished reading "The Stardust Lounge" for the second time. At first read, it is a riveting, albeit, troubling journey of a devoted mother and her out-of-control son. The book is unsettling in it's raw, unabashed exposure of the power of the dark tunnel through which many adolescents pass - both male and female. As a counselor who has worked with adolescents for many years, I know, first hand, that the author's experiences are much more prevalent than most parents, and society in general, would like to admit. The ultimate power of this book, written in a seductively honest, often poetic style, is the message of the true nature of healing. Anyone who has been through troubled times - and who hasn't? - will find their answer in this book.
Rating: Summary: If you love animals you'll love this book! Review: I loved The Stardust Lounge for many reasons, most of all because of how the three dogs and-- how many cats?-- were loved and cared for. The Digges houshold grew wild with compassion! I loved the story of how Rufus the basset hound took over the motherless kittens, how the bulldog G.Q.'s agression was dealt with through training, love, and humor, how Buster the bulldog's epilepsy became the driving concern of the household. In the long run, what really matters to any family but memories like these?
Rating: Summary: What a great read! Review: I want to say that I began this book just after supper one night and couldn't stop until I finished it about 3 in the morning. I KNEW I had to get up for work, I KNEW that in a few hours I would be dead on my feet cooking my kids' breakfast. But I just couldn't stop, and though I was, for sure, exhausted the next day, I was also haunted by Digges' break-through story. I have talked about it with other parents, co-workers, and friends. They say, Can I borrow it?" I answer no. Go buy it yourself. I'm keeping mine.
Rating: Summary: Don't try this at home Review: The silly grins of non-judgmental Rogerian acceptance and thrill-seeking. A theory that two messed-up childhoods brought together might find an acceptable lifestyle due to the extreme need for affiliation that afflicts children within a wierd isolated anti-society. This book echoes every myth of the "recovery" movement, but it lacks footnotes, specific attributions to source literature, and a thorough explication of opposing views. Buy this book to join the "pity party". What a thrill for "professional educators" who, with career tenure, can get away with doing such destructive antisocial things to children. Includes convincing anecdotes that show why some psychotherapists should be debarred.
Rating: Summary: Raining Cats and Dogs Review: The Stardust Lounge has been widely reviewed-- USA Today, The New York Times Review of Books, Esquire, The Washington Post Book World, and others. As an avid reader of reviews I am amazed that none focused much on the animal-human relationships that bind this book together! Without Buster and GQ, the bulldogs, Rufus the basset hound, Sybil to cat, and all the kittens, I can't imagine that SDL could have the depths and layers it does in relationship to its dangerous story of male adolescence in American culture. I think that most reviewers don't know how to write sensitively and effectively regarding the integrity and wholeness of animal presences. This aspect of the book was to me the most mysterious and moving. I loved this book for all of its strangeness,it's breaking rules so rigidly assigned to the notion of "family." What IS a family? Digges, her sons,Trevor, an all the cats and dogs impress me as one of the greatest families I've ever read about. I only wish I could live in this book a while, step in and join them on their way.
|