Hiding Behind the Collar

Rating:
Summary: Fairbanks Chronicles a Different Kind of Clergy Abuse
Review: "Hiding Behind the Collar" is a meticulously written chronicle of one woman's attempt to hold her church accountable for the emotional exploitation she suffered as a result of the trust relationship she had with her pastor.

Often, spiritual and emotional abuse is described only in the context of sexual exploitation. Author Catherine Fairbanks helps readers understand how an exploitative clergy can use the power of position to emotionally manipulate, confuse, and attempt to destroy parishioners without overt sexual abuse.

One of the unique things about "Hiding Behind the Collar" is that the perpetrator is a troubled female clergy who gains perverse enjoyment from emotionally exploiting female parishioners.

The story touches the deepest part of one's beliefs about faith, truth, and justice. It is a memoir of an experience no one wants to go through -- yet a realistic view of what can happen to individuals in communities of faith when they try to hold leaders accountable. It is a "must read" for all who care about fostering healthy communities of faith.

Rating:
Summary: Silence is Not Golden..... it is a failure of faith
Review: As I read this book I became more and more aware of the role of arrogance and silence pervading the Episcopal Church. A church, which has described itself, as the church for thinkers has dismally failed in this case and in many more I suspect.

I was struck by the failure to finance the necessary committee to examine not only sexual but psycological and spiritual abuse committed by clerics on vulnerable laity and laity on each other. This silence keeps both clergy and laity ignorant of their own church's policy on abuse and the damaging consequences of their behavior. This elevation of silence has left the Episcopal Church unable to communicate with those who have been abused and to convey and develop empathy in the laity... a major faith failure.
The author has taken a prophetic role and the Episcopal Church like the ancient kings denies the message by their arrogance. The book points out that the church is devoid of love and as a result has become a worshipper at the altar narcissistic power.

Rating:
Summary: Silence is Not Golden..... it is a failure of faith
Review: As I read this book I became more and more aware of the role of arrogance and silence pervading the Episcopal Church. A church, which has described itself, as the church for thinkers has dismally failed in this case and in many more I suspect.

I was struck by the failure to finance the necessary committee to examine not only sexual but psycological and spiritual abuse committed by clerics on vulnerable laity and laity on each other. This silence keeps both clergy and laity ignorant of their own church's policy on abuse and the damaging consequences of their behavior. This elevation of silence has left the Episcopal Church unable to communicate with those who have been abused and to convey and develop empathy in the laity... a major faith failure.
The author has taken a prophetic role and the Episcopal Church like the ancient kings denies the message by their arrogance. The book points out that the church is devoid of love and as a result has become a worshipper at the altar narcissistic power.

Rating:
Summary: Hiding Behind the Collar
Review: Hiding Behind the Collar by Catherine Brittion Fairbanks is an interesting read about the author's struggle to rectify clergy misconduct in her church. It tells of her battle with the church hierarchy and the stinging disappointment she experienced when neither reconcilliation nor clergy discipline occurred.
Hiding Behind the Collar is a road map of one person's journey through a bitter and trying time in life and points the way toward organizations that can help in the healing process.

Rating:
Summary: Hiding Behind the Collar
Review: Hiding Behind the Collar by Catherine Brittion Fairbanks is an interesting read about the author's struggle to rectify clergy misconduct in her church. It tells of her battle with the church hierarchy and the stinging disappointment she experienced when neither reconcilliation nor clergy discipline occurred.
Hiding Behind the Collar is a road map of one person's journey through a bitter and trying time in life and points the way toward organizations that can help in the healing process.

Rating:
Summary: Have faith in whom?
Review: Hiding Behind the Collar by Catherine Britton Fairbanks is an extremely well written expose' into the disturbing reality of frequently covered up ministerial misconduct. Vulnerable parishioners looking for spiritual guidance too often become prey to self centered ministers, seemingly more interested in having faith put in themselves than in a supreme being. Fairbanks describes with meticulous detail the spidery web she was sucked into by a clever minister bent on becoming the only saving sanction to this needy searching soul. This author's self examination reaches out to include an examination into organized religion, in this case The Episcopal Church, politics and apathy concerning ministerial abuses of power over members of a congregation. Readers of this book will know what to look for when it comes to too much friendship, inappropriate exchanges, and questionable activities between ministers and themselves. After reading this book, I realize how easy it is for people to "hide" behind the collar of religious service and how devastating it is for the innocent victims to suffer lifelong negative side affects from this subtle, yet dangerous type of mistreatment. I applaud the author's courage to tell it like it was for her, with the hope that others are more aware and might be able to protect themselves from getting involved in this type of situation.

Rating:
Summary: An excellent read
Review: In this well written and touching novel, it is obvious the courage of the author to bare all, in a tell all. Fairbanks recants her ordeal in dealing with the Episcopal Church, its conduct and ethics. I found myself rapidly sinking deep beneath the printed words with my heart racing, as I found that I could actually relate to her story... how ironic.

"There are no simple routes to find your way to the center of a maze, and when you do find your way to this resting place, you may find it difficult to find the way out. "

This is exactly what happens for Fairbanks in her candid recanting of events. "Hiding behind the collar," unveils a fragile state of mind searching for a lifeline in rare detail, and how US (meaning you or I) can fall under the influential power of one person! It also examines organized religion, its political strategies towards cover-up, betrayal and corruption. We cannot simply dismiss these stories of clerical misconduct, which span all religious judicatories. Fairbanks explains that first; we must accept that the problem of clerical misconduct exists, and then we must stop being silent on the issue and stop sweeping them under the rug. After reading this enlightening novel, in my opinion this book would have been a worthy Oprah's Pick!

Rating:
Summary: A Story of Trauma and Loss
Review: This book shows the frustration created when any denomination or institution in the community of faith is either unwilling or unable to respond in a way that is sufficient to avoid a sense of re-injury instead of facilitating healing from the trauma and losses that are typically sustained in sexual and/or spiritual abuse in the community of faith. It demonstrates the problems that dual relationships create for congregants and clergy alike. Perhaps its greatest value will be in the needed raising of consciousness in regard to abuse by female clergy of another female.

Dee Miller,
author of (1) How Little We Knew: Collusion and Confusion with Sexual Misconduct and (2) The Truth about Malarkey

See www.takecourage.org