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Summary: Simply the best book on adoption I've read
Review: "The Family of Adoption" is clearly the best book on adoption I've read to date. Pavao gives adoptive families fantastic food for thought delivered with unrivaled humor and sensitivity.
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Summary: A must read!
Review: "The Family of Adoption" should be read by everyone involved with adoption. The book is easy to read - Dr. Pavao is an expert who is passionate about children and therefore does not fill her book with needless technical/academic jargon. This is definately a must read!
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Summary: clarification of reviewer's comments
Review: although Dr. Brodzinsky's book was published in 1992, Dr. Pavao studied with Erik Erikson at Harvard in mid 1980's and wrote an article on developmental stages and challenges at that time. Dr. Brodzinsky attended some of Dr. Pavao's early lectures on the subject. Dr. Brodzinsky is an excellent researcher and has a wonderful collections of writings on adoption.
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Summary: simply the best
Review: As a mother of a 8 year old, foster to adopt daughter, this book is so helpful to know what her feelings are of her birth parents. Even though she is old enough to remember and honesty state where her parents went wrong, she still loves them. This book helps me to understand the value of her being connected to her birth family. That the connection is not broken with the legal signing of adoption papers. That she will always have the connection and that I had better do my part in helping her understand what it is all about. I met Joyce Maguire Pavao last Nov. when the State of Maine Dept.of Human Services had her as a guest speaker to celebrate National Adoption Month. I thought she knew her stuff, then. She didn't have her book for sale that day like most speakers do, it wasn't until recently, while in a local book store that I saw it. I grabbed it and couldn't put it down. Now, I'm buying several copies for others, that I know who have adopted. The book really covers the issue of national and international adoption. And the feelings of all involved. It really is simply the best book I've read on adoption,(and I have enough books on adoption to start a small library!!!)
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Summary: Wish I had read this book
Review: Great book. I would recommend it for anyone involved with an adoption.
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Summary: I've been waiting for this book.
Review: I've been waiting for this book because I attended a workshop by Dr. Pavao several years ago and thought she had very good insights. I would recommend this book to couples choosing adoption because it opens the door to thinking about the feelings they may have as they become parents. I also liked the emphasis on the idea that adoption is to provide for children. This can't be said often enough. I also liked the distinction between privacy and secrecy. Adoption can't be cut and dried; it's a complex situation and a potentially rich emotional experience for those involved. Thanks for a good read.
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Summary: Easily Assimilated Adoption Wisdom
Review: Joyce Maguire Pavao has been a familiar speaker at adoption reform and adoptive parent conferences for many years. Her wisdom, gentleness, and skill as a master story teller have enlightened many through the spoken word. It is a real joy to finally have her work in writing. Emily Dickinson said "tell the truth, but tell it slant". That is exactly what Dr. Pavao does in her stories and anecdotes of adoptees and adoptive families in therapy, and in her pioneering work in open adoption. Rather than boring us all with theory, she lets the lives of her clients speak for themselves, and teach many lessons about the value of openness and honesty in adoption, and the healing power of truth and love. This is a book that is easy to read--I read it through in a few hours--but one you will come back to again and again if you work with members of the adoption triad, or are yourself a person affected by adoption. As an adoptee herself, and a long-time activist for adoption reform, Dr. Pavao brings a special empathy to her work with adopted children and families, and with adult triad members. Unlike a previous reviewer here, I would take Dr. Pavao's writing over the pompous, empty platitudes of David ("I Am The Walrus")Brodzinski any day!
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Summary: Finally, a book by Dr. Joyce Pavao!
Review: Joyce Pavao is the voice of reason in today's world of adoption. I have had the pleasure over the years of hearing her speak - she has a child-centered, open and loving approach for children who cannot be parented by those who gave birth to them - and I am thrilled to finally have her words written down. I keep buying this book and giving it away, over and over again. I highly recommend this book to everyone in the world of adoption, foster care, and to families of divorce/custody.
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Summary: a thorough primer on the emotional realities of adoption
Review: Pioneering therapist Joyce Maguire Pavao's book should be read by all persons or pairs who wish to adopt. It examines the perspectives of all adoption triad members: birth parents, adoptive parents, and adopted individuals. It contends that adoption is about finding families for children, not the other way round. The founder and director of the Center for Family Connections (Cambridge/New York), Dr. Pavao says she employs case studies because they pack emotional wallop and yet instruct. This is certainly the case. Within the first 30 pages, opportunities for tears abound - and so do clear descriptions of the hearts and minds of participants in the adoption process. With 20 years' experience as a provider who 'gets it' and a lifetime as an adopted person, Dr. Pavao has certainly earned the right to write on adoption (as few others have), and her language is intensely felt. The Open Door Society's ODS News calls this work "truly the most insightful and healing book on the adoption shelf." For anyone who offers professional services to a member of the triad, this book is a necessity. Dr. Pavao's inclusive, accessible style of writing makes The Family of Adoption especially successful. New England's Adoptive Families Together, Inc. (member of Adoptive Families of America and winner of a 1999 North American Council on Adoptable Children/NACAC award as Outstanding Parent Group) acquired copies for each of its support groups' libraries - I know, since I facilitate one such group! I'll say it once more: For anyone who offers professional services to a member of the triad, this book is a necessity.
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Summary: Interesting but not unique
Review: The book jacket states that Pavao "is the first to demonstrate that there are often predictable and understandable developmental stages and challenges for all adopted people." Not so. Being Adopted; the Lifelong Search for Self by David Brodzinsky, et. al., is a more comprehensive book on this subject. (It was published in 1992.) Pavao's book "stops" with young adulthood, while Brodzinsky addresses mid-life and late adulthood. Still, Pavao writes from a slightly different angle. Pavao's bias is as an adoptee and a champion of adoptees. Her thesis is that adoption is not an isolated incident but a life-long experience-- the fact that one has been adopted is bound to affect individuals in significant ways throughout their lives. (Brodzinsky would disagree and ascribes more variety to individuals' experience of being adopted.) She draws extensively on her experience as an educator and therapist to individuals and families involved in adoption and presents many fascinating case studies. As an adoptive parent myself, if I were to recommend just one of the two books to other adoptive parents (or those considering adoption), I'd choose Brodzinsky's book. Still, Pavao's is definitely worth reading. It is readable and passionate and delves into the child welfare aspects of adoption (which Brodzinsky does not do).
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