Rating: Summary: Birthbond: Reunions Between Birthparents and Adoptees Review: In the late 1980s, there were few books for birthmothers. This book validated the emotional pain I had carried (silently) during the decades after surrendering my child to a system of closed adoption. One of the authors is a birthmother. Thank you, Judith and Linda, for a pioneering work which, I'm sure, helped many people!
Rating: Summary: Magnificent - a must read! Review: My 41 year old daughter, her husband and children, her adoptive parents and I are now into the 8th month of our most joyful reunion and getting acquainted time. This book, which I am now ordering as a gift for her parents, was extremely helpful to me in the early months, when my emotions ran the roller coaster from indescribable joy to deep sadness. In particular, the discussion of the "loss piece" helped me more than anything else to understand how much unresolved grief I had - and, finally -- to put most of it to rest once and for all. Although each person is indeed a unique individual with his/her own reactions, we can all learn from the experiences of others which have been magnificently described in this book.
Rating: Summary: The best book for birthmothers to understand reunion issues. Review: Of all the books on adoption reunion, this one is the best for birthmothers because it describes such a range of reunions and issues that can be raised. It was most helpful to me because I read it early in the reunion with my son, when I knew little or nothing about the emotional turmoil I was experiencing, and it allowed me to see a variety of possibilities. Birthmothers never forget their lost children, and this book helps us to see that each of us is not alone. It was a poor social experiment with people's lives, closed adoption. Now it's time to learn its ugly lessons and move on to happier and more productive lives! This book can help birthparents, adoptees, and adoptive parents to see the results of closed adoption.
Rating: Summary: gave me a lot of insight as a birth mother Review: Recently I was contacted by my son I gave up for adoption 22 years ago. I have read and re-read this book and cannot get enough of it. I am sending a copy to him as well.
Rating: Summary: An important book for adoptees and birthmothers Review: There are a lot of books about Being Adopted or Finding Your Birthparents, but not enough guides to help you with the minefield/rollercoaster ride (pick your analogy) that is Reunion and Beyond. Everyone has seen that first hug on "Sally", "Oprah" or "Unsolved Mysteries", but the real unsolved mystery is "What now? How do I integrate this new 'blood-but-not-quite-family' person into my life?" The authors of Birthbond (one a researcher and one a birthmother) surveyed about 40 birthmothers and describe their experiences. As an adoptee, it has helped me understand some of what my birthmom is dealing with - I gave her a copy, too. A fine roadmap for emotional terra incognito.
Rating: Summary: Reunions: Developing the relationships Review: This book discusses the experiences of 40 reunions primarily from the point of view of adoptee and birthparent. It's the first I've seen that looks at reunions after the 6month mark on to 5+ years. I'm almost 5 years into a positive, joyful reunion. As the birthmother, I've also experienced the bittersweet pain of reunion. This daughter & the one I raised are so alike...flashing on what we missed can be very painful. People outside of a reunion experience do not understand or relate. There is also some material from the adoptive family's perspective. If you are in reunion, positive and joyful, or difficult and painful, do read this book. You will find situations to identify with!
Rating: Summary: Not what I was looking for Review: This book seems like it would be good for someone where both the adoptee and birthmom want to have a relationship. Since it only considered reunions that were past 6 months, it did not give any insight on the ones that don't make it that far, and why.Also seemed like a good book for a case where the birthmom was a loving woman who unselfishly gave up her child for adoption, and still thinks of him/her on their birthday, etc.... The book was a little too rosy, though - it didn't seem to recognize that not all birthmoms are so wonderful. I was looking for a gift for my teenage sister who wants to find her birthmom, however, her birthmom was a complete mess. The conclusion chapter said reunions can improve self-esteem because the adoptee finds out that they weren't "dumped". Well my sis WAS dumped, so is it still a good thing for her? Overall, I think this book would have actually enhanced the fantasies my sister has about her birthmom, so I decided to return it and keep looking.
Rating: Summary: Not what I was looking for Review: This book seems like it would be good for someone where both the adoptee and birthmom want to have a relationship. Since it only considered reunions that were past 6 months, it did not give any insight on the ones that don't make it that far, and why. Also seemed like a good book for a case where the birthmom was a loving woman who unselfishly gave up her child for adoption, and still thinks of him/her on their birthday, etc.... The book was a little too rosy, though - it didn't seem to recognize that not all birthmoms are so wonderful. I was looking for a gift for my teenage sister who wants to find her birthmom, however, her birthmom was a complete mess. The conclusion chapter said reunions can improve self-esteem because the adoptee finds out that they weren't "dumped". Well my sis WAS dumped, so is it still a good thing for her? Overall, I think this book would have actually enhanced the fantasies my sister has about her birthmom, so I decided to return it and keep looking.
Rating: Summary: Best book I've read on adoption Review: This book was a God send to me, it was truely a blessing. My daughter was adopted 19 years ago threw a closed adoption. For 19 years I have felt alone, as though no one understood my feelings. Reading this book validated my feelings. I realized that I am not alone. It matched my own feelings and desires and fears so well that I could have written myself. It also gave a very candid account of the adoptees feelings as well as the adoptive parents feelings. I knew if it was right on target with my feelings and emotions it most be just as accurate on theirs. I loved this book so much that I have highlighted areas on every page. I was fortunate enough to meet my daughter last week, I gave her the book and signed the cover from me. I only hope it blesses her as much as it did me.
Rating: Summary: Best book I've read on adoption Review: This book was a God send to me, it was truely a blessing. My daughter was adopted 19 years ago threw a closed adoption. For 19 years I have felt alone, as though no one understood my feelings. Reading this book validated my feelings. I realized that I am not alone. It matched my own feelings and desires and fears so well that I could have written myself. It also gave a very candid account of the adoptees feelings as well as the adoptive parents feelings. I knew if it was right on target with my feelings and emotions it most be just as accurate on theirs. I loved this book so much that I have highlighted areas on every page. I was fortunate enough to meet my daughter last week, I gave her the book and signed the cover from me. I only hope it blesses her as much as it did me.
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