Rating: 
Summary: Self-absorption is not a virtue!
Review: This book had been recommended to me, so I decided to take a chance and purchase it. But immediately I was turned off by the sacrosanct tone of Ms. Saffian's writing. It is didactic in a way that is very, very distancing. Her experiences as an adopted child are not useful, educational, or compelling to anyone else due to the author's absolute selfishness (there are many incidents of this in the book). Both with regard to her birth parents and her adoptive parents. She seems like a spoiled little rich girl looking to justify her behavior through this book, but that isn't interesting at all. The author would do better going to therapy and recording her feelings privately. It is surprising that both sets of parents were so patient and understanding with this girl. Her writing style is the final straw here. It's pretty awful in parts. Find a better book on the subject of adoption; there are many out there!
Rating: 
Summary: An Honest, Straightforward Perspective
Review: Since I became a birthmother in October, 1976, I never fail to be amazed at how many lives have been affected/touched by the adoption triad, the infinite variety of paths which led us all to the same place. Ithaka was recommended to me several times but I was reluctant to read it because I was so against her birthparents' intrusion on her life, I've always felt that a search was the adoptee's right. As a birthmother, I assumed the birthparents would be the villains from an adoptee's point of view. I was pleasantly suprised to find that Ms. Saffian's perspective toward her birthparents was compassionate, sensitive, and understanding. I'm thankful that she shared her personal story, as it helped me understand what my daughter might be feeling about her own identity and sense of place, and has helped me in my quest for healing and understanding. Highly recommended for all adoption triad members or anyone touched by adoption.
Rating: 
Summary: Well written, but a bit detached
Review: I read Ithaka on the heels of meeting my own birthmother and I must admit, that I was a bit put off by Ms. Saffian's detachment throughout the book. Granted, I too am very grateful for what my adoptive parents have done for me, and I would not trade them for anything in this world, however, I am also grateful for my birthparents for making the choice of giving me up for adoption. I too experienced a myriad of emotions when seeing my birthmother for the first time in 25 years, even though she and I had communicated on and off since I was twelve. However, whenever she expressed any emotion to me I did not feel threatened or overwhelmed, as did Sarah, when Adam, her birthfather expressed his raw emotions to her in his letters. That was a bit of a letdown and it did certainly turn me off. Overall, the book was very good and well written.
Rating:
Summary: Save yourself the money
Review: This is a memoir written, like so many, by a complete narcissist. It should have stayed in the author's diary and not been made public. There are plenty of good books about adoption, but this isn't one of them.
Rating: 
Summary: Big Disappointment
Review: Being very interested in adoption, I had waited a long time for this book to be delivered. However, it turned out to be a big disappointment. As others have mentioned, I found it to be very well-written, but it did not give me any insight into what the writer was experiencing. Good books, in my opinion, are books which emotionally take hold of me. Make me cry,laugh,mad, sad etc. With this book, I could not help but be fustrated in how little it was able to do so. I was always left totally detached. Bottom line, over-rated.
Rating:
Summary: Good profile of intrusive, narcissistic birthparents
Review: I have been amazed at the number of early reviewers who judged Ms. Saffian's wariness as cold or self-serving. Though the book IS too drawn-out, I found myself cringing along with the author at each letter from her birth father. His emotional effusiveness presumed an intimacy with her he did not in fact have; his whole tone was, as Saffian points out herself, repulsively self-dramatizing and solipsistic. Why do reviewers consider these the "perfect" birthparents? They come across as relentlessly self-centered in the pressure they put on the narrator, despite the lipservice they pay to patience. Perhaps all readers, adoptive and biological, can take a cue from this memoir; Saffian's twentysomething queasiness in the face of her birthparents' emotionalism and self-absorption is a GREAT example of how many, many gen-xers feel in the face of many, many baby boomers' self-dramatizing narcissism. The generation gap continues...
Rating: 
Summary: Very Moving
Review: As a Birth Mother, I think this was a well written account of the life of an adoptee. On a whole stories of this kind are generally alike. The feelings are all there right out in the open and sting alot. But the final acceptance is a miracle to behold. I would not expect a reader with no triad participation to be able to really enjoy this book as much as those of us who are a part. I couldn't put it down. It helped me understand what my son must have gone through, in part, as he decided to search for me. I'm pretty convinced that letting the adoptee search is the way to find closure, but if many more years had gone by (30) I'm not sure I wouldn't have begun to search. It takes a very strong person to search out his/her birthparents, but in some cases I believe essential for lasting wellbeing. Thanks Sarah for sharing your journey and adventure with us.
Rating:
Summary: Puzzled By the All the Hoopla
Review: I finally picked up a copy of this book, which has been much-touted in the press and elsewhere, but I'm really not sure what all the enthusiasm is about. It seems to be yet another "poor little rich girl gazing at her navel" story, and the writing, while competent, is certainly unexceptional. I do appreciate the author's willingness to probe her psyche in some meaningul way, but the end result is a narrator whom I felt indifferent towards. Adoptees, in and of themselves, are not special people-- so why do we hunger for their stories?
Rating:
Summary: Absorbing memoir
Review: Sarah Saffian's "Ithaka" starts with a typical day in the life of the author: she has been to the gym and had breakfast and is collecting her things to leave for work when a phone call breaks apart her world. "Sarah" the woman on the phone says, "I think I am your birth mother."This call begins a four year journey for the author, a Manhattan journalist. The woman who called, Hannah, is indeed Sarah's birth mother and soon Sarah is corresponding with both Hannah and Adam, Sarah's biological father. Sarah's life is an unusual case: her bio parents stayed together after giving her up and are now married artisans living in New England, raising three children of their own. Sarah is happy with the life she was adopted into and is at first disarmed at Hannah and Adam's urgent and emotional letters. Much of the book details the correspondence over a four year period between Sarah and her birth parents. The author offers moving and valuable insights into the cycle of emotions she goes through. Adam and Hannah emerge as wonderful people: self-aware, honest and passionate. But the author is frank in her waryiness as some of what Adam and Hannah disclose to her. Accepting them, and being willing to meet them, is a long process for her. "Ithaka" is the best book I have read about adoption. It is an honest account of the thoughtful, messy process one must go through to accept a reunion with one's birth parent. However, the book is not limited to its subject. It is an honest examination of the path to identity, and how our family plays a part in it.
Rating:
Summary: Amazing
Review: I am not adopted, nor have I adopted, but I found this book absolutely wonderful, heartfelt, painful, aggravating and every other emotion known to man. I cried and cried. Thank you, Ms. Saffian for writing this book.
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