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Rating: 
Summary: Too dry, not enough examples and true life stories
Review: If you like intellectual musings and lofty philosophical principles about adoption, read this book. I could only take a couple chapters of Gritter. My wife read more and felt discouraged about adopting. An adoptive parent we know couldn't get through the first chapter. "Too dry", she said.It puzzled me why the author, with many years of adoption counseling experience under his belt, wouldn't use real life stories and examples to illustrate his ideas. There's almost none. Instead he pontificates and lectures; I felt talked down to. Fortunately, our experience with Open Adoption and Family Services in Portland, Oregon was far more positive and down to earth.
Rating: 
Summary: BIAS AGAINST ADOPTION
Review: Most of this book gives a fair and healthy picture of the advantages to open adoption. The target audience seems to be social workers in the field of adoption and NOT perspective adoptive parents. This book IS clinical in form and often long winded. But the author ends the text (chapters 14 & 15 in particular) by ranting about the evils of adoptions that are not completely open. By reading these chapters, it seemed as if the author wanted me to feel guilty for wanting to parent a child what was not my biological child. This leaves the feeling that the author is biases against choosing an adoption plan over parenting a biological child. We actually learned tonight that our agency (dedicated to the counsel and caring of birth parents) has pulled this book from it's recommended reading list. My wife and I are dedicated to being parents, and ministering to birth parents by raising their child in an open adoption. The negative tone of Gritter's book almost made us reconsider this option. If you are a perspective adoptive parent read Field's "Should You Adopt" and Silber & Speedlin's "Dear Birthmother," but do not read Ritter.
Rating: 
Summary: A "must-read" for all adoptive/prospective adoptive parents
Review: The author beautifully discusses the topic of open adoption. Not only does Gritter cover the need for openness, but he also includes a realistic discussion of how to make it work for all members of the adoption triad. His writing style does not come across as a clinical approach; the book is quick and easy to read. Because it is so thought-provoking, though, I do not suggest trying to rush through it. Gritter helps us see things in a new light and think about things in a new way. I found myself crying at times, thinking to myself, "Yes, someone finally understands what my husband and I feel is so important as the parents of two children from open adoptions." We have a lot more to learn about openness, and birthmothers in particular, and this book took us further along that path. It is an excellent book for those in the social work field as well as for lay people.
Rating: 
Summary: A little editing could go a long way...
Review: This book is required reading by our adoption agency. While I applaud Mr. Gritter's committment to his subject I have to say that it's a hard read. I think a little editing would have gone a long way as he tends to make his points over and over and over. Plus he feels so strongly about his opinions that he comes off a little heavy handed. On the plus side, many of the chapters (particularly the one about pain) were valuable as was the chapter on commercialization which confirmed our feeling that advertising for a baby through independent adoption wasn't right for us. Maybe the most valuable thing was that reading the book helped us understand what our agency's values were and helped us feel that we'd made the right choice for our situation. I would highly recommend another book suggested by the agency, The Open Adoption Experience. It was a wonderful and non-judgemental book written for adoptive and birth families. It covered not just the adoption itself but raising the child and other issues. It had tons of examples and really helped me think through a lot of things I hadn't considered before.
Rating:
Summary: BIAS AGAINST ADOPTION
Review: To hear a social worker write so beautifully about adoption was surprising and welcome. Gritter leaves the mechanics of adoption to other writers and concentrates on the quality and spiritual aspects of a good open adoption. I've read most everything in the field of adoption, and this book stands out as one of the few to really "get" the need for openness in adoption. Gritter tackles difficult subjects with honesty and subtlety. This book makes a nice companion to The Open Adoption Experience by Ruskai and Melina.
Rating:
Summary: Beautiful prose on a timely topic
Review: To hear a social worker write so beautifully about adoption was surprising and welcome. Gritter leaves the mechanics of adoption to other writers and concentrates on the quality and spiritual aspects of a good open adoption. I've read most everything in the field of adoption, and this book stands out as one of the few to really "get" the need for openness in adoption. Gritter tackles difficult subjects with honesty and subtlety. This book makes a nice companion to The Open Adoption Experience by Ruskai and Melina.
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