Rating: 
Summary: GROWING UP WITH PAIN THAT CANNOT BE DENIED
Review: 2 stars After reading Barras' explanation and description and interpretation of what life has been like for her concerning the concept, structure and realization of a father figure in her life and in the life of her daughter I conclude that 1/3 of the book is reporting on painful emotional feelings and psychological confusion; 1/3 reporting on research that is usual and available and interpreted in a prevailing view that homes without "fathers" produce dysfunctional children and adults, although, more than half the homes in America do not have a resident-male performing the role of father and 1/3 of the book is pure puff, pure market exploitation. Yet, I also concluded that I will buy the book for my daughters but I will glue my review and interpretation of the book, in detail, to the inside cover. I will use this book and "Becoming Dad" by Leonard Pitts, Jr. as text for classes in cultural anthropology because these discussions of "fatherlessness" are so culturally based. But even more, they indicate clearly the cultural differences between what a "father" was suppose to be in the 40s and 50s in comparison to what a father is suppose to be today. What is a father? That depends. That depends upon the region of the world, the environment and the era. That clearly makes it a psychological cultural-construct. The data on "Daddy" in the home (i.e. an active role) is clear that it depends on the cultural and economic development of the males in a population. So the socio-economic factors point to political punts and blocks. In other words, the American government has supported the development of white manhood, and the subsequent development of white fatherhood and with the employment of women even that effort is slipping. This book and others like it can be a lethal weapon, a hurtful instrument, for women who are vulnerably disconnected in a dreamy, fanciful reality. All 35-year olds who read the book should read the very last line of the book, first, realize Barras is now 50, then read the book with that in mind. That is, realize that this psychological-cultural painful phenomenon is called, "growing up." . . . . I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH BARRAS: "The only thing I can hear clearly is the fatherless song. I sing it sorrowfully, achingly, the way Billie Holiday sang `Strange Fruit.'" (pg. 34) Thousands of black people (& about 200 white sympathizers) were tortured, beaten, mutilated and burned, then hung from trees all over the South because (some) white people hated and was allowed to hate and Barras compares that with her childhood fantasy of a father and her mother's abrupt lack of sensitivity, which we all will grow out of eventually because we will realize the fancifulness of it all but torture and murder and rape are real. Somehow, I don't think these are the same thing or even similar in the essence of living human, do you?
Rating:
Summary: GROWING UP WITH PAIN THAT CANNOT BE DENIED
Review: 2 stars After reading Barras' explanation and description and interpretation of what life has been like for her concerning the concept, structure and realization of a father figure in her life and in the life of her daughter I conclude that 1/3 of the book is reporting on painful emotional feelings and psychological confusion; 1/3 reporting on research that is usual and available and interpreted in a prevailing view that homes without "fathers" produce dysfunctional children and adults, although, more than half the homes in America do not have a resident-male performing the role of father and 1/3 of the book is pure puff, pure market exploitation. Yet, I also concluded that I will buy the book for my daughters but I will glue my review and interpretation of the book, in detail, to the inside cover. I will use this book and "Becoming Dad" by Leonard Pitts, Jr. as text for classes in cultural anthropology because these discussions of "fatherlessness" are so culturally based. But even more, they indicate clearly the cultural differences between what a "father" was suppose to be in the 40s and 50s in comparison to what a father is suppose to be today. What is a father? That depends. That depends upon the region of the world, the environment and the era. That clearly makes it a psychological cultural-construct. The data on "Daddy" in the home (i.e. an active role) is clear that it depends on the cultural and economic development of the males in a population. So the socio-economic factors point to political punts and blocks. In other words, the American government has supported the development of white manhood, and the subsequent development of white fatherhood and with the employment of women even that effort is slipping. This book and others like it can be a lethal weapon, a hurtful instrument, for women who are vulnerably disconnected in a dreamy, fanciful reality. All 35-year olds who read the book should read the very last line of the book, first, realize Barras is now 50, then read the book with that in mind. That is, realize that this psychological-cultural painful phenomenon is called, "growing up." . . . . I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH BARRAS: "The only thing I can hear clearly is the fatherless song. I sing it sorrowfully, achingly, the way Billie Holiday sang 'Strange Fruit.'" (pg. 34) Thousands of black people (& about 200 white sympathizers) were tortured, beaten, mutilated and burned, then hung from trees all over the South because (some) white people hated and was allowed to hate and Barras compares that with her childhood fantasy of a father and her mother's abrupt lack of sensitivity, which we all will grow out of eventually because we will realize the fancifulness of it all but torture and murder and rape are real. Somehow, I don't think these are the same thing or even similar in the essence of living human, do you?
Rating: 
Summary: An Incredible First Step Toward Being Whole
Review: An associate pastor from my church back home gave my mother this book and she told me I had to read it as I am divorced and raising a girl-child on my own. Within these pages I found myself and the stories of countless other women I have been friends with since time began. Since reading it, I have recommended the book to everyone male and female. There is an incredible wealth of information between these covers. At times, it was all I could do to continue. There has been painful introspection but I am the better for it. This is a book guaranteed to touch the lives of the majority. It is important to face those difficult spaces in our lives as we raise the next generation of men and women. Face them head on so our sons and daughters don't find themselves in the same traps that many of us look up from now. This is one of the most important books that I have ever read. If you are a woman who lived in a household where your father was physically or emotionally absent, this is a must-read for you. In the end there IS hope as you celebrate your accomplishments and victories. I don't believe we walk this journey toward wholeness alone. Thank you Ms. Barras!
Rating:
Summary: An Incredible First Step Toward Being Whole
Review: An associate pastor from my church back home gave my mother this book and she told me I had to read it as I am divorced and raising a girl-child on my own. Within these pages I found myself and the stories of countless other women I have been friends with since time began. Since reading it, I have recommended the book to everyone male and female. There is an incredible wealth of information between these covers. At times, it was all I could do to continue. There has been painful introspection but I am the better for it. This is a book guaranteed to touch the lives of the majority. It is important to face those difficult spaces in our lives as we raise the next generation of men and women. Face them head on so our sons and daughters don't find themselves in the same traps that many of us look up from now. This is one of the most important books that I have ever read. If you are a woman who lived in a household where your father was physically or emotionally absent, this is a must-read for you. In the end there IS hope as you celebrate your accomplishments and victories. I don't believe we walk this journey toward wholeness alone. Thank you Ms. Barras!
Rating:
Summary: Get ready to rock your world
Review: As a child of divorce, I never realized the impact on my adult life that being "Fatherless" had on me; I never thought my Fatherlessness was much of an issue. While reading this book, however, there were times when I nodded as Jonetta took me on her journey, and cried as her path shone light on my own. If you've prided yourself, as I have, on being a strong, independent woman, but find that deep down you shy away from true intimacy and committment in your relationships; then I urge you to read this book! For the first time I feel like I can address the SOURCE, and not just the symptoms. Thank you Jonetta for a truly enlightening read. I've sent copies to my 'strong, independent girlfiends'; I think we'll have a lot to talk about.
Rating:
Summary: Heartbreaking and Inspirational
Review: Fascinating book and topic and very well written. It's also a sad comment on our society. Written with warmth, humor and tears it's an excellent read no matter what your background or ethnicity.
Rating: 
Summary: Father-Me-Less Syndrome
Review: Father-Me-Less Syndrome, that's what we're calling it. Oh yes, we're talking about the book and the subject. There seems to be two schools of thought on this issue. One is that Father wasn't there, wish he was but he wasn't, and life goes on and the other is that I prefer to see it the white way and get more time with the therapist: Father Ain't Here And I Want To Shoot Myself. FATHER IS A ROLE! HELLO! FATHER IS A ROLE!!!!! Your Daddy didn't want to do it, wasn't ready to do it or he didn't know how. That's two ways to see it and there is probably more. We need to talk about it but we need to hear an opposing view --that is, if some of yall want to stop hurting unnecessarily. This is how many of us feel about it over here and we're looking for a publisher for our book. Like I said, the other way to view this human cultural phenonmenon is, I Just Don't Why I Feel This Big Hole and Emptiness in My Life--I Tried Hating Myself But I've Grown Tired of That and That Wasn't the Answer, So Let Me Try Blaming People Who Weren't Where They Were Supppose To Be In My Life. Now that feels better. For now. On and on till the next thing wrong with yo'self comes along. It's very groupified --new group forming for fatherless women--and it will sell books too. But you should read another opinion by people who lived the life too. Just remember this, for those who want on this bandwagon and I say go for it--gurfriend needs your sales, remember "BURN YOUR BRA!" from the 60s. Some of us did. Then, I said THEN, we noticed we had C, D, and E cup breasts. Seriously though, I think Barras is on to something -- Thank you, Miss Barras, but we over here disagree with you but your book got us to talking about it. And talking about it brings on the healing and the growing. So, 5 stars to you for that. But I feel that reviewer, Marcel Marchieu from San Franciso, August 19, 2000, said it best: "A Misguided Focus for an Otherwise Necessary Topic." But then he said, "I was excited that the African American community finally acknowledged the impact of fatherlessness on African American women." Well, I take issue with inferring that African American women have a fatherless problem. I think all of Western society has a deficit there. Look for our book on this subject. In the meantime read Barras and join the discussion. Thanks for your attention.
Rating:
Summary: Father-Me-Less Syndrome
Review: Father-Me-Less Syndrome, that's what we're calling it. Oh yes, we're talking about the book and the subject. There seems to be two schools of thought on this issue. One is that Father wasn't there, wish he was but he wasn't, and life goes on and the other is that I prefer to see it the white way and get more time with the therapist: Father Ain't Here And I Want To Shoot Myself. FATHER IS A ROLE! HELLO! FATHER IS A ROLE!!!!! Your Daddy didn't want to do it, wasn't ready to do it or he didn't know how. That's two ways to see it and there is probably more. We need to talk about it but we need to hear an opposing view --that is, if some of yall want to stop hurting unnecessarily. This is how many of us feel about it over here and we're looking for a publisher for our book. Like I said, the other way to view this human cultural phenonmenon is, I Just Don't Why I Feel This Big Hole and Emptiness in My Life--I Tried Hating Myself But I've Grown Tired of That and That Wasn't the Answer, So Let Me Try Blaming People Who Weren't Where They Were Supppose To Be In My Life. Now that feels better. For now. On and on till the next thing wrong with yo'self comes along. It's very groupified --new group forming for fatherless women--and it will sell books too. But you should read another opinion by people who lived the life too. Just remember this, for those who want on this bandwagon and I say go for it--gurfriend needs your sales, remember "BURN YOUR BRA!" from the 60s. Some of us did. Then, I said THEN, we noticed we had C, D, and E cup breasts. Seriously though, I think Barras is on to something -- Thank you, Miss Barras, but we over here disagree with you but your book got us to talking about it. And talking about it brings on the healing and the growing. So, 5 stars to you for that. But I feel that reviewer, Marcel Marchieu from San Franciso, August 19, 2000, said it best: "A Misguided Focus for an Otherwise Necessary Topic." But then he said, "I was excited that the African American community finally acknowledged the impact of fatherlessness on African American women." Well, I take issue with inferring that African American women have a fatherless problem. I think all of Western society has a deficit there. Look for our book on this subject. In the meantime read Barras and join the discussion. Thanks for your attention.
Rating: 
Summary: Wonderful Read
Review: I bought this book a few months ago, but finally took the time to read it yesterday. This woman is on to something. The insights she gives to those of us who grew up without fathers, and thought it was perfectly normal--only to find out in the real world, we were limping along in life-are life changing. My dad died when I was 11 months old. When I would ask about him, I got no answers. Combine that with a bitter and scared mother and you have a chronic overachiever who has lost touch with the true spirit of femininity. This is the kind of stuff that breeds mistrust between us and men, and competition amongst women. Ladies, we must commit ourselves to healing. God is the only true healer, and he's been telling us through his word, that this kind of hurt can be healed.
Rating:
Summary: Honest and Enlightening
Review: I didn't expect this from Rose Barras. I didn't expect this weave of raw honesty, courage, and insight. From the opening passage I was caught up in the grip of a masterful story-telling style that she couples with an honesty that invites the reader to open the closets of their troubled existence and tear out the tattered garments. It's mind opening. It's inspiring. It answers questions that I've asked for decades as a troubled mate and a separated father embroiled in perplexing relationships with women and my own daughter. It poses new, troubling questions about the impact on the social process of paternal absence from the lives of future mothers and wives. I suspect that WHATEVER HAPPENED TO DADDY'S LITTLE GIRL will become a must read in psychology classes and book clubs all over. I'm sending copies to some of the women whom I love, and to some whom I have tried to love. D. Edward Dyer
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