Soulmates: Following Inner Guidance to the Relationship of Your Dreams

Rating:
Summary: NAPRA Review
Review: A CAUTIONARY TALE: PLEASE READ THE BOOK BEFORE YOU COMMENT

Dear "Reader from Los Angeles",

I think you'll feel a lot better about my research if you actually DO read Soulmates, and I know you'll be relieved to learn that the material to which you object does NOT appear in it. Nor did this material appear in an early raw manuscript of the book that you purportedly read sometime ago. I will quote for you here in its entirety the only passage I actually used based upon my research interviews that you referred to. (The woman to whom you refer is called "Carmen," and your husband - the man Carmen called "Joseph" in an early manuscript of the book - is referred to as "Adam.")

SECOND CHANCES (Excerpt from: SOULMATES: Following Inner Guidance to the Relationship of Your Dreams, pp. 99-100.)

"I am convinced that we can have soulmate relationships with a number of different people. The loss of one ideal partner doesn't mean that we cannot have the wonderful relationship our soul desires - it just means that we can't have it with him or her. For example, here's what my friend Carmen's guide replied when she asked if a man who interested her was her soulmate: 'You want to know if Adam is "The One". I say he is a total possibility. But there are other men around who could join you on your path of holiness. You are nesting, and various holy friends who are, so to speak, at your level, will approach you. No matter who you choose, or who takes you as a partner, you both will be joyous in the same measure.'

"'Carmen' shared her experiments with guidance with me several years ago as they were unfolding. I felt - indeed, I still feel - that there was a lot of wisdom in some of the responses she received in meditation. There is nothing in my notes that recalls Carmen's guide ever saying that Adam was her 'one and only,' but simply that he was a good man who shared her values and interests, and who might make a good partner for her if he chose to do so." [End of Excerpt]

As events continued to unfold, it became apparent that Adam had not chosen to consider Carmen as a romantic partner, and, at her guide's urging, she did begin a relationship with someone else. Since nothing had come of Carmen's interest in Adam, I decided not to include the material related to her inner process in the book, except for the excerpt above.

In retrospect, it does seem like a shame that Carmen decided to share her meditations regarding Adam with him, and that he then decided to share them with you. I can understand that it would be upsetting to think other people were being led to believe that your husband was "meant for" someone else. However, if you do decide to read Soulmates, you'll see that I argue vigorously against the idea that each of us has only one ideal mate, or that anyone is intended for some specific individual by God, or fate, or whatever. It is my belief that these are matters of individual choice, and since you and the man I've called "Adam" have chosen one another, I wish you much happiness!

Rating:
Summary: Author¿s Reply to ¿A reader from Los Angeles"dated Oct17,'00
Review: A CAUTIONARY TALE: PLEASE READ THE BOOK BEFORE YOU COMMENT

Dear "Reader from Los Angeles",

I think you'll feel a lot better about my research if you actually DO read Soulmates, and I know you'll be relieved to learn that the material to which you object does NOT appear in it. Nor did this material appear in an early raw manuscript of the book that you purportedly read sometime ago. I will quote for you here in its entirety the only passage I actually used based upon my research interviews that you referred to. (The woman to whom you refer is called "Carmen," and your husband - the man Carmen called "Joseph" in an early manuscript of the book - is referred to as "Adam.")

SECOND CHANCES (Excerpt from: SOULMATES: Following Inner Guidance to the Relationship of Your Dreams, pp. 99-100.)

"I am convinced that we can have soulmate relationships with a number of different people. The loss of one ideal partner doesn't mean that we cannot have the wonderful relationship our soul desires - it just means that we can't have it with him or her. For example, here's what my friend Carmen's guide replied when she asked if a man who interested her was her soulmate: 'You want to know if Adam is "The One". I say he is a total possibility. But there are other men around who could join you on your path of holiness. You are nesting, and various holy friends who are, so to speak, at your level, will approach you. No matter who you choose, or who takes you as a partner, you both will be joyous in the same measure.'

"'Carmen' shared her experiments with guidance with me several years ago as they were unfolding. I felt - indeed, I still feel - that there was a lot of wisdom in some of the responses she received in meditation. There is nothing in my notes that recalls Carmen's guide ever saying that Adam was her 'one and only,' but simply that he was a good man who shared her values and interests, and who might make a good partner for her if he chose to do so." [End of Excerpt]

As events continued to unfold, it became apparent that Adam had not chosen to consider Carmen as a romantic partner, and, at her guide's urging, she did begin a relationship with someone else. Since nothing had come of Carmen's interest in Adam, I decided not to include the material related to her inner process in the book, except for the excerpt above.

In retrospect, it does seem like a shame that Carmen decided to share her meditations regarding Adam with him, and that he then decided to share them with you. I can understand that it would be upsetting to think other people were being led to believe that your husband was "meant for" someone else. However, if you do decide to read Soulmates, you'll see that I argue vigorously against the idea that each of us has only one ideal mate, or that anyone is intended for some specific individual by God, or fate, or whatever. It is my belief that these are matters of individual choice, and since you and the man I've called "Adam" have chosen one another, I wish you much happiness!

Rating:
Summary: A cautionary tale: the potential misuse of inner guidance
Review: Carolyn Godschild Miller

Summer Book Review

Looking for Ms or Mr. Right?

Coming out of a relationship and you don't want to make the same mistakes -- again?

Dr. Carolyn Godschild Miller's new book Soulmates' is a must read for the summer or any season. This thoroughly modern book guides the reader to a level of self-understanding that enables clear thinking and rational choice in what is perhaps life's most important decision.

Though erudite, Soulmates' is not a scholarly treatise on love. Soulmates' deals with the rational issues of choosing a mate but it deals also with the spiritual and emotional context of human dynamics and needs. For those who see our present life as part of a continuum, Soulmates' provides a guide to learning about one's self in this context and moving to higher understandings of one' s issues. These understandings permit true self-awareness and thus a path toward positive life choices that free one of past mistakes and the baggage of earlier failed relationships.

This is a book of real life experience. Dr. Miller is a clinical psychologist practicing in Los Angeles. She shares the insights of many years of practice and a full life of experience. Dr. Miller has helped others to a better understanding of themselves and their true needs. Her book is filled with a wisdom that provides invaluable assistance in life's most important quest.

Grace Gerardi

Rating:
Summary: "Soulmates": The Key to Positive Love Relationships
Review: Carolyn Godschild Miller

Summer Book Review

Looking for Ms or Mr. Right?

Coming out of a relationship and you don't want to make the same mistakes -- again?

Dr. Carolyn Godschild Miller's new book Soulmates' is a must read for the summer or any season. This thoroughly modern book guides the reader to a level of self-understanding that enables clear thinking and rational choice in what is perhaps life's most important decision.

Though erudite, Soulmates' is not a scholarly treatise on love. Soulmates' deals with the rational issues of choosing a mate but it deals also with the spiritual and emotional context of human dynamics and needs. For those who see our present life as part of a continuum, Soulmates' provides a guide to learning about one's self in this context and moving to higher understandings of one' s issues. These understandings permit true self-awareness and thus a path toward positive life choices that free one of past mistakes and the baggage of earlier failed relationships.

This is a book of real life experience. Dr. Miller is a clinical psychologist practicing in Los Angeles. She shares the insights of many years of practice and a full life of experience. Dr. Miller has helped others to a better understanding of themselves and their true needs. Her book is filled with a wisdom that provides invaluable assistance in life's most important quest.

Grace Gerardi

Rating:
Summary: A Sure Way to Meet Your Soulmate.Carolyn Miller gives
Review: Carolyn Miller in her book Soulmates, gives the reader clear evidence that a soulmate relationship is availble to anyone who truly desires one. Every chapter gives valuable and practical guidance that when followed, is useful in assisting the reader into finding and creating a unconditionally loving soulmate relationship. The personal stories of soulmate journeys Dr. Miller presents seem real,insightful, and honest. This is an enjoyable book to read and one filled with hope and promise for a life shared in love. If you truly long for the love of your life read this book and follow her advice.

Rating:
Summary: NAPRA Review
Review: Dr. Miller addresses in a frank, high-spirited style the over-romanticized subject of soulmates. Leaving nothing to chance (sorry, kids), she thoroughly demystifies the search for true love. Despite her refreshingly practical skepticism of "fairy-tale romance," Miller is unflagging in her belief that there's someone out there for everyone. The strength of some of Miller's assertions may offend-or radically challenge-our assumptions about love and partnering, but when fairly weighed, her suggestions are right on the money for spiritual integrity and emotional health.-MTB

Rating:
Summary: NAPRA ReView
Review: From Napra ReView, written by one of their reviewers and NOT the author:

Drawing on her experiences as a practicing transpersonal psychologist, and as one adept at conversation with her own inner "guides," Dr. Miller addresses in a frank, high-spirited style the over-romanticized subject of soulmates. Leaving nothing to chance (sorry, kids), she thoroughly demystifies the search for true love.

From the base of her own foundations in A Course in Miracles, the author explains the importance (and suggests means) of contacting one's inner guide and of distinguishing between the voices of guide and ego. Despite her refreshingly practical skepticism of "fairy-tale romance," Miller is unflagging in her belief that there's someone out there for everyone. She addresses such issues as timing,readiness, divorce, and repartnering, in a voice that is gutsy, humorous, unabashed,and sincere. The strength of some of Miller's assertions may offend-or radically challenge-our assumptions about love and partnering, but when fairly weighed, her suggestions are right on the money for spiritual integrity and emotional health.

Rating:
Summary: You are not alone in your quest for love!
Review: I was moved to read Soulmates simply on the merits of Carolyn Miller's previous book, Creating Miracles: Understanding the Experience of Divine Intervention. Soulmates did not let me down. This wonderful book, besides assisting you in understanding how to prepare yourself for a healthy, mature and unconditionally loving relationship, will teach you how to connect with your spiritual guides to receive information that comes from a higher perspective than your ego. Carolyn Miller adeptly shows us how moving beyond what we think we want (our ego's desires) to the soul level (our true self), is the key to finding a truly loving and fulfilling partnership. And she provides stiking stories of couples which so clearly illustrate the things she teaches us.

I have told my friends and coworkers about Soulmates and highly recommend it to anyone who wishes to find true love!

Rating:
Summary: "Soulmates" delivers!
Review: I was pleasantly surprised to find that "Soulmates" is not New Age pablum, but a delightful mixture of solid psychology and ... and what? Warm mysticism? Course in Miracles wisdom? Whatever the second part, the first part, solid psychology, is undeniable, and the author's wit, honesty, modesty and self-disclosure make the book a great read. Believe it or not, it may even help you find (or create) a soulmate.

Rating:
Summary: A cautionary tale: the potential misuse of inner guidance
Review: In February, 1998, I met my soulmate. We got married later that year, and just celebrated our second anniversary. Shortly after we met and fell powerfully and soulfully in love, an old (girl) friend of his sent him a manuscript to read. She was one of the people interviewed by Carolyn Miller for this book! In this manuscript, she talked about 'Joseph' as her soulmate, and how she asked for inner guidance about their 'relationship' (they never had a romantic relationship, only a non-romantic friendship). Her inner guides told her that "her Joseph" WASN'T READY for their relationship. Meanwhile, he had met and fallen in love with me!! And we really ARE soulmates. What does this say about the concept of "inner guidance"? I believe in inner guidance, myself - but it is very subject to narcissistic misuse and self-delusion. It appears that this woman created the myth that would help her feel superior to 'Joseph' (she was "ready"; he wasn't), rather than face the reality that SHE was not THE ONE for him. It takes a high degree of self-awareness and humility to utilize the concept of inner guidance well. The potential for abuse and self-delusion seems very high. In the name of spirituality, many people just engage in the same old ego-boosting and denial as ever, with a holy or even holier-than-thou veneer. I wonder about Dr. Miller's use of a story like this, without checking into the other person's side of it. She would have heard that 'Joseph' was never attracted to this woman, and that the feelings were never mutual. In fact, Joseph was VERY ready to be with his soulmate, was actively searching for AND found her (me). So, if you hear a little anger in my tone, you are correct. I think Dr. Miller could have been more responsible in her research, which would have made her book stronger and more credible. If the concepts of 'soulmates' and 'inner guidance' have REAL meaning, they have to be more than New Age defense mechanisms to protect people from feeling the pain of being undesired by the one they want. Superficial use of the terms serves to diminish the profound power they truly have.