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Summary: Best Book on Parenting Since Dr. Spock!
Review: This is an astoundingly good book. There is more common sense and sound advice between its covers than I have seen in 40 years of reading on child psychology and parenting strategies. (I am a retired school Headmaster, teacher, and coach of world-class athletes). Positive Pushing has special relevance to parents of 'high achievers', but it is equally valuable for all parents who simply want to help their children be the best they can be. Dr. Taylor focuses on developing value systems, a strong work ethic, self-confidence, ownership, responsibility, self-respect, etc. But this is no 'feel good book.' Dr. Taylor insists that kids must DO POSITIVE THINGS in order to feel good about themselves and to become constructive and successful adults. There is no 'psycho babble' in this book. It is all plain English and common sense. Parents are coached on how to teach their kids that one of the true joys in life is experiencing the process of achieving. Here are some quotes that should whet a reader's appetite: 'A funny thing happens when you raise the bar. People find a way to get over it, once they realize it is expected. Human beings can do amazing things -- if they're asked to.' 'Positive pushing emphasizes creating options for children from which they can choose a direction, and stressing that doing nothing is not an option.' 'You need to strike a balance between giving your child the first push toward achievement in terms of direction, opportunities and resources, and then stepping back and enabling her to to find her own personal connection with the activity. Your involvement must shift from direction and guidance to encouragement and freedom.' This is good stuff. Dr. Taylor draws on many years of experience working with athletes and parents from little league moms to olympic team members -- and also dancers, artists and musicians. The author does a good job of integrating basic principles with real-life examples. I think this book should be read by children age 13 or older as well as by their parents. I have encouraged Headmaster friends to make POSITIVE PUSHING required summer reading for all of their teachers and coaches, and to strongly urge all of their parents to read it as well. In short, this is MUST READING for anyone who is interested in raising successful and happy children. Learn more about his book at its web site.
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Summary: Th New Pushing - Positively Speaking
Review: This Review is a overview of both the book by Jim Taylor, and his presentation of the information which I had the opportunity to particpate in at my childrens school where Jim was an invited guest speaker.Generally speaking, the ideas captured within his book...Positive Pushing... are reasonably well versed and are based really upon good common sense..which many of us seem to just forget during the day to day struggles of work, and child rearring... so as a wake up call.. it is always nice to be provided with reinforment of the benifits of just stepping back & taking a breath,,, and just realizing our responsibilities in raising our children are not at the expense of our lives, nor restraining our childrens abiity to express themselves. As far as Jims presenations as a guest speaker, the personal involement which can be had in such a setting really fosters open lines of communication, and allows the crowd to participate by expressing their own slant or twist on the meanings of his presentaion, and even better the applications that they can connect his logic to their own day to day events. In Summary, the book & presentation are both benificial to have been exposed to, and nayone able to get either should by all means take advantage of the opportunity to be a particiopate in a presenation and reinforce the inforamation by reading the book.
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Summary: Virtues of Encouragement
Review: To push or not to push (one's child) is the question on many a parent's mind. That is the question many will bring to this fascinating book. But it is not the right question. Dr. Taylor starts from the premise that not only is pushing good, but it is the right and duty of every parent to do it. But, just when a parent starts to think "Oops I bought the wrong book, Dr. Taylor steps in to reassure you that it's not the pushing that hurts a child but the wrong kind of pushing.
The first step is to understand the emotional tripod that supports the psyche of a healthy child: self esteem, ownership and emotional mastery. Perhaps he puts self esteem first because it is not only valuable but much misunderstood. To Dr. Taylor, and it is difficult to summarize, this means creating an environment in which the child is safe but accountable. An environment in which the child can explore, achieve and err and learn how it feels to do both. A child thus nurtured holds the keys to his or her own success by being self motivated. Feeling successful is the feeling a child wants to replicate, but without feeling failure it is not nearly so powerful. And what is success? It is the achievement of attainable goals established by a child with the encouragement of his parents.
Ownership is really what you get from getting your hands dirty. Reading about how a radio is put together is no where near as useful to a child as allowing him or her to pull one apart and then rebuild it. And, getting it wrong before you get it right is part of the process. Most important of all in an environment when so many are given so much so early, Dr. Taylor counsels that "There is no free lunch." A child is not entitled to anything he or she did not earn.
Finally, emotional mastery is the art of understanding one's emotional make up and gradually shaping it into something constructive. Dr. Taylor makes no bones about the fact that this is hard work and complex work. It is the ability to be motivated by the hope of achievement rather than by the fear of failure.
But these thoughts of mine can be no more than a teaser, and I hope an inducement to read this book, or to go an hear Dr. Taylor speak as I did recently at my child's school. I found the experience very worthwhile, but the medicine does come with a warning label. It is not a quick fix and requires an engaged parent. The book contains a great deal of guidance, but requires much thoughtful interaction by the parents. Is it worth it? Well, how valuable is the mental health of your children?
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Summary: Postive Pushing Fantasy for a 15 yr Old Son
Review: What a relief ! My son accepted our switch to positve pushing -versus always being negative about his lack of effort. He seems more relaxed and less confrontational, since we have doubled our efforts and both of us have read Dr. Taylor's "Positve Pushing-How to raise a sucessful child". It has taken a huge load off of our shoulders, and placed emphasis on being positive but firm in our conviction that at school and home he can be a better person. Thank you, Dr. Taylor for giving us the insight into the power of being positive, continuing to always being concerned, and giving us the ability to help our teenage son is such a positive way.
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Summary: Teenage Sons responds to Positive Pushing
Review: What a relief! Our son has turned around almost 180 degrees since my wife and I read "Positive Pushing". We started practicing the positive aspects of pushing and were rewarded almost immediately with less confrontation and more willingness on his part to give more effort. Your book has started us in a better direction with our 15 year old son. He is reacting much more maturely to our positive efforts than ever before. We can not thank you enough. We only wish that we had found your book sooner because we would be farther along to a successful achiever.
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