Getting Along (Almost) With Your Adult Kids: A Decade by Decade Guide

Rating:
Summary: Sigh...
Review: I purchased this book to seek some guidance on how to build a balanced, mutually respectful, adult relationship with my 20-something daughter. This book did not deliver. I read it twice, thinking I missed either the humor/sarcasm or the main point the first time around. The message I got from my reading was that to have a good relationship with your adult child, you must expect almost nothing - not consideration, not good manners, not time, not communication. In return, you should be willing to be there at all times to offer endless emotional support, time, and money. Thus, if you expect nothing from your children, you will not be disappointed by whatever attention they give you. I expected something far more balanced and constructive than the one-sided view that was offered.

The authors do a dis-service to all adult children by taking the viewpoint that they are no more than large-sized toddlers who should be indulged and humored. Negligence and bad manners are just dismissed as their "being too busy" or "too absorbed with their own lives." Parents will be checked-in with from time to time just to make sure they are still there. Otherwise, the kids really don't care. These are not healthy ways for any adults to interact.

A recurring theme in this book is, as parents, to do anything to preserve the relationship. After a while, I began wondering "what relationship?"

If you are considering this book, I would suggest that you read it in conjunction with others on this topic. Perhaps, as one piece in a bigger picure, it would be more helpful.

Rating:
Summary: Real insight into the ongoing challenge of parenting...
Review: Silly me... I thought that once my daughters turned 18, they'd start to relax and we could be friends. Maybe not in their 20's, but certainly in their 30's and beyond. I couldn't have been more wrong, as I recently found out with my mid-30's daughter. I was bereft, until I happened on this little gem of a book. Turns out the 30's are the "terrible 2's" of adult kids. If you're a parent, you'll remember how relieved you were to read what to expect with your babies. Well, this little gem of a book has had the same effect on me now. Parents never stop having to adjust to their children's developmental stages. No one said it would be easy, but this book makes it at least comprehensible, and gave me some rueful laughs in the bargain.

Rating:
Summary: Very depressed!
Review: The thought that my children will remain self-centered two year olds depresses me. The message is to give everything, expect nothing, keep your mouth shut and your wallet open. When they are in their 50's make sure they know that they will be left a nice fat inheritance as a reward for neglecting and rejecting you.

After reading this book I know I should have raised Golden Retreivers and Yorkies instead of kids! As for the inheritance, if I'm supposed to give down payments, pay bills, and be free with finacial bailouts what will be left for anyolne to inherit?

Rating:
Summary: Getting Along (Almost) with Your Adult Children
Review: This is a great little book, fast reading and full of helpful information regarding how to move through the maze of being a parent of adult children and their spouses. So much common sense! A great gift for friends in the same boat. How about a study guide for a group???