Rating: 
Summary: A Boomer's Perspective
Review: As a parent The Starter Marriage made me aware of what to watch out for. A lot of my friend's children have gone through marriages like those described in the book. What I found encouraging was what these young people learned from their understandably difficult experience. As far as I'm concerned this is must reading for anyone, parent or otherwise, in a position to gently advise.Long-married, New York City
Rating:
Summary: Not Just for Marrieds!
Review: As a single, never-married girl in my twenties, I bought The Starter Marriage not because I've had marriage problems, but because I want to prevent them. As prevalent as the starter marriage (awesome phrase, btw) is in our culture, I plan to do my best not to have one. I found this book instrumental in teaching me -- in a fun, beach-read kind of way -- how to go about making sure that when I marry, it will be right. Reading about other peoples' mistakes (a guilty pleasure in itself) helped me to examine my own attitudes toward and expectations of marriage. And what do you know, I saw some things within myself that I'm now working on changing so that, when I'm ready, I can do this marriage thing right. I am recommending this book to all my single friends so they can all take preventative measures to avoid the pain and heartache of a starter marriage.
Rating:
Summary: Not Just for Marrieds!
Review: As a single, never-married girl in my twenties, I bought The Starter Marriage not because I've had marriage problems, but because I want to prevent them. As prevalent as the starter marriage (awesome phrase, btw) is in our culture, I plan to do my best not to have one. I found this book instrumental in teaching me -- in a fun, beach-read kind of way -- how to go about making sure that when I marry, it will be right. Reading about other peoples' mistakes (a guilty pleasure in itself) helped me to examine my own attitudes toward and expectations of marriage. And what do you know, I saw some things within myself that I'm now working on changing so that, when I'm ready, I can do this marriage thing right. I am recommending this book to all my single friends so they can all take preventative measures to avoid the pain and heartache of a starter marriage.
Rating:
Summary: Excellent Read
Review: As a veteran of a "starter marriage", divorcing after only 16 months, I was able to relate to the feelings and experiences of most people interviewed for this book. (Surprisingly, I am not the only one who has been through this!) Pamela Paul offers an unbiased, balanced, comprehensive explanation of this trend, while also providing suggestions, based on our modern reality, to increase the likelihood of marital success. Her concept of "new traditionalism" may mean the difference between success and failure as young couples traverse this exciting and challenging path. This is a must-read for anyone contemplating getting married or who has already experienced an early divorce.
Rating:
Summary: Excellent Read
Review: As a veteran of a "starter marriage", divorcing after only 16 months, I was able to relate to the feelings and experiences of most people interviewed for this book. (Surprisingly, I am not the only one who has been through this!) Pamela Paul offers an unbiased, balanced, comprehensive explanation of this trend, while also providing suggestions, based on our modern reality, to increase the likelihood of marital success. Her concept of "new traditionalism" may mean the difference between success and failure as young couples traverse this exciting and challenging path. This is a must-read for anyone contemplating getting married or who has already experienced an early divorce.
Rating:
Summary: Espiecially for Clergy
Review: As an ordained person, it has been my privilege to preside at many weddings. Unfortunately, it has also been my sadness to help families pick up the pieces after a marriage ends. Pamela Paul has written an insightful guide not just for those contemplating marriage, but for those who will preside over the service at which vows are made. Many of the points Ms. Pound ennumerates are areas in which many clergy--including myself--choose not to tread because we don't want to inject a shadow of doubt into what should be a hopeful and promising occasion. In her explanation of the penomenon of the "Starter Marriage", as well as what leads to them, and what results, Ms. Paul shows implicitly that there is a great deal that prepareing for a marriage is much more important, and potentially more time consuming, than preparing for a wedding. After reading Ms. Paul's book, I have come to a better understanding of the types of questions to ask couples who come to me for pre-marital work, but more importantly, I have a new sense of urgency in asking them. Ms. Paul's book is a must for the library of any clergy, and should be on the required reading list of every seminary.
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Summary: Reviewer missed the point
Review: Author Pamela Paul identifies a growing pattern of young marriage and divorce, and documents likely causes (people getting married to complete a 'power couple' life, or to move out of their parents' houses, or out of fascination with weddings, or because they've been dating a long time and marriage is easier than breaking up). She also describes the demographic trends that may have led to younger marriages and easier acceptance of divorce in the current crop of 20-to-30-year-olds. Finally, Paul discusses the emotional wreckage left by these divorces, and analyzes public policy that can minimize the damage. "Melissadec" complains that Paul is "inconclusive about what to do about the problem". This book is a serious study of a topic often trivialized by guides to being a "buff bride" or "how to win your dream man". It is, at times, heartbreaking. It is also very well written, and worth anybody's time.
Rating:
Summary: Relatively speaking...
Review: Having seen two different nieces stay married less than a year, I've wondered about the state of marriage. I found this book helpful with issues they have told me they struggled with and have given a copy to each of them. A loving aunt. Louisville, KY
Rating:
Summary: Relatively speaking...
Review: Having seen two different nieces stay married less than a year, I've wondered about the state of marriage. I found this book helpful with some of the issues they have told me they struggled with and have given a copy to each of them. A loving aunt. Louisville, KY
Rating:
Summary: This book is right on the money.
Review: I had no words to explain the failure of my own Gen X 2 and 1/2 year marriage this last fall. I was chilled to read this book which literally seemed to be parroting my own rationalizations and fears prior to my marriage back to me. On almost every page was an observation about Gen X marriages that mirrored my own experience - right down to the same phrases uttered by the couples interviewed. I know the author has taken some flack for this book, but it strikes me that nothing validates a book of social commentary like being able to see your own life in its pages.
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