Rating: 
Summary: Very Disappointed
Review: I was very disappointed with book and I would love to tell the Author why. I am having problems with my mother-in-law but it is different then what is in the book. What about the mother-in-law that won't give up her oldest son. My mother-in-law doesn't respect me as his wife or the mother of her grandchildren. I have always gone out of my way to do nice things for her because I think that family is so important and she raised my wonderful husband. I want my children to know their grandmother but I won't let her run over me. If I tell her that I don't want something done regarding my kids she will do whatever she wants. She will come in my house and move things around and correct me in front of my kids. Not all daughter-in-laws are bad, it can be the mother-in-law having problems excepting that their is a new women in her sons life. I wish I hadn't spent my money on this one.
Rating: 
Summary: Best Self-Help Book
Review: I've never read a self-help book that offered so much help without preaching, so much hope without patronizing, and the kind of wisdom and insight that is at once comforting (you are not alone) and enlightening (full of fascinating information). You will learn all about the dynamics that go into creating family rifts. You will read heartbreaking stories of estrangements and heartwarming stories of how many of these decade-long rifts finally mended. Barbara LeBey's wise and comforting words were borne of her own personal estrangement with her son and she immediately reaches out to the reader because she's been there herself. There are also some compelling early chapters that vividly and intelligently explain why and how family estrangements went on the increase during the last 40 years and continue to dramatically escalate. LeBey puts this information in historical perspective so that we have the added dimension of understanding the evolution of these unhappy changes within a family. But above all, through the true and poignant stories that she relates (from the many people she interviewed), I took great comfort in realizing that I can go about mending an estrangement in my own family. Barbara LeBey has given me the tools with which to do it.
Rating:
Summary: Too one-sided
Review: In her book, LeBey discusses several types of family estrangement, but she tends to tell only one side of what are typically two-sided stories. Relationships between family members are complicated, and the problems that gave rise to the estrangement are often rooted in destructive conduct on the part of both parties to the dispute. I wonder what Ms. LeBey's estranged son (and his wife) think about Ms. LeBey's account of their estrangement and what their side of the story would reveal? If LeBey hopes for reconciliation with her son and daughter-in-law, did she consider that writing her book would probably damage the prospects for reconciliation with them? One can only assume that she did, yet she wrote the book anyway. How ironic.
Rating:
Summary: Estrangement is a family tragedy
Review: In her excellent book, Barbara LeBey's exploration and treatment of family estrangement exhibits not only personal experience but the careful examination of fact and experience in several diverse situations. Her qualifications as both participant and observer extend far beyond the subjective. As wife, mother, grandmother, lawyer and judge, and now researcher, interviewer and author, she is eminently prepared to explore in writing and share with us the killing emotions of anger, resentment, jealousy, and abandonment that cause families to break apart. She demonstrates, also, a sensitive and sensible approach to curing the devastation that affects all who are a part of any family that those emotions tear asunder. This is a book that not only serves those who have experienced estrangement, it may well be a beacon for those whose pain has not yet broken the family ties, and for whom the awareness of others' heartache might serve as a how-to for healing before it's too late in their own circumstances.
Rating: 
Summary: NO NO NO
Review: Noooo!
I did not want to read the resentiments by a real dissatisfied mother-in-law, I expected help or at least subjectivity. Not in this book. If you feel bitter and need some support, not to change, just for comfort in your bitterness, fall into the credo of the author.
There are plenty of great self-help books. This one does not belong to the prime class.
Rating:
Summary: Don't Bother!
Review: Really ZERO starts, but that isn't an option. This is a one-sided view of family problems, putting all of the fault onto the children despite the fact that we were RAISED by these older "adults". Does NOT address issues with parents who have problems letting go, honoring thier adult children's views or giving their children a sense of space. A poorly executed book that will make a lot of grandparents and mothers-in-law feel better without truly offering them the chance to change themselves. SKIP THIS ONE if you know what is good for you!
Rating:
Summary: One Sided
Review: Thank you to Barbara LeBey for adding even more stress and resentment into some already rocky relationships between mother and daughter-in-laws. What I explored in this book was a bunch of one-sided mother of son sob stories that blamed the daughter-in-laws for family breakdowns. Unfortunately, there wasn't much exploration as to why these estragements were SONS and their mothers. Also unfortunate is that my mother-in-law read this book and now has ME to blame for the years of dysfunction and denial that have plagued her family. She now has a convenient excuse to ignore the alcoholism, manipulation, conditional love and lack of communication that she raised her son in. Honestly, if we, daughter-in-laws, were such "evil puppet masters" with enough control over our husbands to make them abandon their families, don't you think we would work on the dirty socks on the floor first?!!! Why not try a James Dobson book instead?
Rating:
Summary: HEALING FAMILY RIFTS
Review: The alienation of family members from one another is a common occurrence in life. This estrangement causes a deep seated bitterness and pain that hurts the family and can often continue from one generation to the next. What can we do to heal these family rifts that cause so much chaos? Babara LeBey provides us with an answer in her book, "Family Estrangements". She identifies the source of the problem, offers guidelines in dealing with estrangements and provides us with strategies on how to cope with them. The books covers a wide range of subjects that can cause family rifts such as divorce, sexual orientation, race, and inheritance. Each chapter also shares the stories of people who went through painful estrangements with their own families. They tell us what they learned from their own experiences and offer invaluable insights on coping with the alienation. I thoroughly enjoyed this book which I recommend for family members (dealing with estrangements), ministers and other helping professionals. Barbara LeBey is sensitive in her presentation and doesn't lay "the blame" on any individual as the source of the rift. She enables one to look at the situation, access what is going on and begin the process of healing. Family Estrangements is a practical resource book that can enable you to begin the process of healing the rifts within your family.
Rating:
Summary: One sided Perspective
Review: The author discribes herself as a laywer, wife, mother, and grandmother, but, not a daughter-in-law. Her perspective is quite one-sided against the "alienating and threatened wife". Quote "It bears mentioning that the daughter in law's perspective is not included here since, in almost every instance, it is the family of the estranged son who suffer the alienation of their loved one. The daughter in law does not require skills in copeing because she usually has the option of mending the relationship at any time".
As a d-i-l seeking to understand the actions of a m-i-l , I am dissapointed with the book.
Rating:
Summary: Don't cover a book by a judge
Review: The author is not a psychiatrist. She is not a family counselor. She is not a physician. She is - horror of horrors! - an attorney and "former judge." She is also way in over her head with the subject matter, offering nothing more than: Estrangement is unpleasant, we should work to avoid or fix it. Having dispensed with this nugget of advice she spends the rest of the book treading water and repeating her mantra. My advice to the author: Stick to the bar and leave advice giving on how to carry out the heavy emotional lifting to the professionals.
|
