Rating: 
Summary: Realistic, fair portrayal of emotions during an adoption
Review: This book was recommended by my home study agency. Before ordering I read the prior reviews and was somewhat concerned the book might be too angry or negative to have any message for me. I am writing to reassure those who might have similar concerns.Note first, the book is dedicated to the authors mother and the adopted child's birth mother. Second, the author is sharing an open adoption, largely of her choice and entirely of her effort. The adoptive couple hope to provide the child, as he matures, an opportunity to know his biological family. Third, while the author admits (as those of who have tried and failed to conceive must), she doesn't understand how the birthmother can separate herself from her child, she also acknowledges the character and strength it must take to perform that unselfish act. Anger? Frustration? Yes, there are those emotions. Kept in a 'secret thought' context, fair emotions. Those of us who find ourselves in stable marriages, educationally, and financially independent but infertile, relying on a social worker and a birthmother for a 'stamp of approval', can not help but feel anger at the irony of the situation. There are a few 'bad' words, (I believe I noted 4), but far fewer than you hear daily if you live and work in soceity. Far more important is the illustration the author provides of the roller coaster of self doubt and emotion adoptive parents experience. It is reassuring to know 'you are not the first to tread those waters'. Also, her experience with racism is invaluable to those of us who have adopted/will adopt children of a different race. I do recommend the book.
Rating:
Summary: Jana Wolff tells it like it is...
Review: This book was so "real" and entertaining that I read it cover-to-cover in one sitting! As an adoptive mother - in waiting, I found that the author's words revealed exactly what I've been thinking and feeling -- yet not speaking to anyone. It was good to know that I'm not alone in my thoughts, feelings and concerns about adopting.
I was concerned by the "not-so-positive" reviews by other readers but am so glad I purchased the book in spite of them. I plan on forwarding this book onto my mom just because I think it's a wonderful story that depicts the true feelings of what adoptive couples fear deep down. It gives all people who are related in some way to adoption a good look at the emotions involved in the entire process. Truthful, humourous and an overall great story of one adoptive mother's journey! Loved the book and would recommend it highly!
Rating:
Summary: Painfully truthful and warmfully funny
Review: This is a true account by an adoptive mother of her adoption process - beginnning with her first thoughts regarding the need for it and ending with bringing the baby home. Ms. Wolf shares with us her insecurities, her wit, her (sometimes)anger, and her love, in an honest and sensitive way. Just as I didn't have to be interested in climbing Mt. Everest to enjoy INTO THIN AIR, I didn't have to be a prospective adoptive parent to enjoy SECRET THOUGHTS.
Rating: 
Summary: We Know How You Feel: You Don't Deserve Our Children
Review: This is an excerpt from Wolff's book: (Begin quote) Dear Birth Mother: Screw you. Do you think I want to beg a complete stranger for a kid whose own mother didn't want him? You messed up and now you get to sit in judgement of the perfect parents for your baby...What do you know about parenting? About perfection? How will you choose,anyway? Will it be the prettiest couple? The richest? The hippest? The most devout? We wouldn't win on any of those counts. If, by some fluke, you do us the great honor of pronouncing us fit to be adoptive parents, what will we owe you? Will we have to support you for the rest of your life? Name the kid after you? And what will happen once you realize what you've done? Will you come back and reclaim your child, rip her away and change her name? How could we ever trust you? How could we ever believe you? Who are you, anyhow? What kind of person would get herself knocked up by a scummy guy who runs away when he hears the news? Haven't you heard of birth control? Of AIDS? Of abortion? Of OB/GYNs? Of monogamy? Of love? I don't want my kid to be your mistake. (End quote) Jana Wolff is truly a Wolff in sheep's clothing. What disgrace that this was published for her adopted child and his mother to read. However, the book is valuable in that it lets people know the ugliness that can reside in the soul of one desperate to adopt. This woman does not have the soul of a mother and it's disgraceful that she was allowed to adopt, and very sad for the adopted child.
Rating: 
Summary: Touching, funny, and informative
Review: We are currently in the process of adopting a bi-racial baby -- what a joy this book was to read. The last 4 chapters in particular pointed out valuable lessons on dealing with questions and comments from strangers or family about the child that looks nothing like you. I highly recommend this book -- I've already passed it on to a friend!
Rating: 
Summary: Is brutal honesty good for adopted kids?
Review: We are naturally drawn to people or to writing that expresses feelings and thoughts we ourselves entertain but would not have dared to express in public. Jana Wolff's book is of this nature and one part of me admires her honesty, but the other, more important part, believes that if a child can get hurt, then honesty is better left unsaid or unprinted. I have no doubt that Jana Wolff's son has a strong connection with her and that love will guard both against any storms, but one never knows what he will feel when he reads his adoptive mother's book. She'll say: "That's what I felt at the time of your birth, but you know how much I love you today." Will this be enough to convince him of his true place in his adoptive family? I am an adoptive mother and would not have wanted to put my child into this situation.
Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?
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