Rating: 
Summary: A mixed bag
Review: I am glad I bought this book and had the opportunity to read it. Ms. Wolff has expereinced a totally different type of adoption, and for different reasons, than I am about to expereince. There were parts that made me laugh and parts that worried me. Wolff is honest in her fears, her opinions, and her acknoledgement of her losses, but the book does come across as being a little "selfish". I think that's because the focus of this book, unlike most adoption books is on the MOTHER, not on the child.An accurate portrayal of one woman's experience that may not necessarily be an experience all readers can or will identify with.
Rating: 
Summary: She read my mind!
Review: I can't express just how much I absolutely loved this book! I have, since reading it, let 2 friends read it and they totally agreed. Jana Wolff was courageous enough to say things in her book that I was afraid and embarrassed to say out loud. I have been contemplating adoption and had a fear of "what if I can't love that child like my own?". After reading her book I realized that that was a normal fear. At one point she aks, "What if he's a dud?" I laughed and almost cried because I felt so bad about admitting that I want a beautiful child, someone who resembles us and what if the child is just so totally different from us, what then? Another reviewer mentioned that she was offended by her foul language and negative thoughts. Well guess what? Thinking about adoption is like a rollercoaster ride, you have negative thoughts one minute and elated thoughts the next. It is NORMAL. Every adoptive mother that I have spoken to has told me that they felt the same way. That is why I absolutely recommend this book, not just to women who are contemplating adoption, but to mothers in general. Thank you Jana Wolff for writing such an awesome book!
Rating:
Summary: She read my mind!
Review: I can't express just how much I absolutely loved this book! I have, since reading it, let 2 friends read it and they totally agreed. Jana Wolff was courageous enough to say things in her book that I was afraid and embarrassed to say out loud. I have been contemplating adoption and had a fear of "what if I can't love that child like my own?". After reading her book I realized that that was a normal fear. At one point she aks, "What if he's a dud?" I laughed and almost cried because I felt so bad about admitting that I want a beautiful child, someone who resembles us and what if the child is just so totally different from us, what then? Another reviewer mentioned that she was offended by her foul language and negative thoughts. Well guess what? Thinking about adoption is like a rollercoaster ride, you have negative thoughts one minute and elated thoughts the next. It is NORMAL. Every adoptive mother that I have spoken to has told me that they felt the same way. That is why I absolutely recommend this book, not just to women who are contemplating adoption, but to mothers in general. Thank you Jana Wolff for writing such an awesome book!
Rating:
Summary: This tells you what you THOUGHT no one else thought!
Review: I found this book honest, funny, and truthful. I have recommended this book to many prospective adopting families, who shared with me that they thought they were the only ones having these thoughts. A real catharsis
Rating: 
Summary: Did you really say this?
Review: I have read the "birthmother" letter in your book. What a demeaning piece of prose! I was separated from my mother for over 34 years by adoption and when I found her, she had as many regrets about the process as I did. She would have had more, I'm sure, if she knew I'd been raised by a woman like Ms. Wolff. I hope that the wonderful woman who adopted me had no thoughts like these. Remember Ms. Wolff, you're raising another woman's child!
Rating:
Summary: This is the adoption version of "The Color of Water"
Review: I just love this book. And I've shared with numerous adoptive mothers in my community. I found their comments illuminating--their relief that FINALLY an adoption book that really tells it like it is. The author, Jana Wolff apparently goes where no other adoption writer has gone before. She addresses real issues, some uncomfortable to admit. Seeing them in writing was an act of bravery and so cathartic for the reader. I've had other readers tell me that they've read it multiple times, as it was so helpful. I will continue to recommend this book. It's a gem!
Rating:
Summary: The best adoption book I've ever read
Review: I loved this book in which Wolff dares to say aloud the thoughts many adoptive parents (including me) have during and after the adoption process. Her willingness to share the deep-down gut-level truths about her own experience really moved me, as did her sometimes painful honesty and her great sense of humor. I laughed and cried and laughed some more and then gave the book as a gift to everyone I thought would be interested: other adoptive parents, my daughter, friends who are birth mothers who gave up their children for adoption. Everyone I've given the book to has loved it. I only wish Ms. Wolff had written it 28 years ago when I was reading every book I could find on adoption, but not finding any that paid much attention to "secret thoughts." When people learned our family (husband, wife, two sons) was adopting, they thought we were (or should be) somehow "better" or "nobler" than other people. I knew we weren't, of course (oh, secret guilt!). This book illumines the truth that in most adoption cases,there are few heroes (no villains, either); each of us (whether birth mother or adoptive parent) brings our own mix of circumstances, needs and motives (and secret thoughts) to the process, but hopefully share one characteristic: love for our children. Thank you, Jana Wolff, for writing this brave and important book.
Rating:
Summary: Damn!
Review: I loved this book! It was a lighthearted, quick, witty book about the thoughts we all think, but are not brave enough or articulate enough to vocalize. It made me feel normal, even okay about some of the thoughts and fears I was having in regards to adoption. I even had other members of my family read it! Excellent!!!!
Rating:
Summary: An amazing read for all those involved in adoption circle
Review: I loved this book! It was a lighthearted, quick, witty book about the thoughts we all think, but are not brave enough or articulate enough to vocalize. It made me feel normal, even okay about some of the thoughts and fears I was having in regards to adoption. I even had other members of my family read it! Excellent!!!!
Rating:
Summary: Buy the book. Borrow the book. Just read it!
Review: I loved this book. Raved about it. Re-read it numerous times. It should be required reading for the homestudy to help you keep your perspective while you are subjecting yourself to the discretion of strangers (some of whom have no children of their own) just to have a shot at raising the child of a girl who has potentially not thought one iota about pre-natal care when you still have a cabinet full of folic acid vitamins that you have faithfully ingested for the past two years only to have your hair shinier but without a child to pull it. The section I returned to again and again was the Dear Birthmother letter. She writes what she would REALLY like to say and compares it with what she actually wrote instead. EVERY single thought and emotion was troubling me too!! If you've never gone through the experience it may be difficult to comprehend and it certainly is not politically correct to share these feelings but it doesn't make them any less powerful. Honestly, when I finished this book in one sitting I wanted to rush to the phone and call the author. I knew we would be fast friends and most importantly I wanted to thank her for giving me the permission to feel my resentment and confusion without guilt. Adoption is a remarkable thing and we now have a gorgeous 4 month old angel. I held our birthmom while she labored and laid my head on her breast and sobbed when our baby finally emerged.I do not doubt for one second that this birth was a blessing and a gift that can never be repaid. Our birthmom was very brave in her decision to put together an adoption plan and I will be eternally grateful. But it doesn't change how I felt eight months ago when she disappeared for three weeks or on the three missed ultrasound appointments. Those feelings were legitimate and after reading this book I knew I wasn't the only person in the world who had ever felt this way. The emotions described in Jana's book are a natural progression of the adoption process. I personally thank the day when she wrote this book - to me!
| 
