Throwaway Dads: The Myths and Barriers That Keep Men from Being the Fathers They Want to Be

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Summary: Are dads really important?
Review: Are dads really important? Of course they are. This book debunks the myths of neglectful, uninterested, abusive, deadbeat, and lazy dads with real-life studies and statistics. They explain why the largely negative portrayal of fathers in books, movies, and on television is both inaccurate and harmful, training young boys and girls to see men as having little or no role in the family.

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Summary: A stunning counterpoint to the "deadbeat dad" myth
Review: At last, a book on fathers that shows insight and compassion on the challenges facing fathers. Provides a good historical perspective. Good antidote to radical feminism.

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Summary: Parke and Brott have captured the essence of Fatherlessness.
Review: For the millions of fathers who have experienced the intimacy of involved fatherhood, and its subsequent loss through divorce, this book will give them the validation they can find in few other places. Throwaway Dads stridently touches a nerve that neither Blankenhorn (Fatherless America) nor Popenoe (Life Without Father) have fully explored. Expanding on Sanford Braver (Divorced Dads), Throwaway Dads takes us another step closer to understanding the degree to which the contemporary myth of the unfeeling, macho, uninvolved, "deadbeat", if not "dangerous" dad belies the frequent, tragic-reality of the post-divorce, disenfranchised, "visiting father."

And, notably, it courageously exposes the social engineering which decimated the families caught up in the wake of the "Great Society" - and the genesis of Braver's "driven-away" dads.

In this case, you can tell a book by its cover.

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Summary: The American Gulag. Until you live it, you won't believe it.
Review: In "free" America, dads are imprisoned for being dads. Millions of bogus temporary orders of restraint are the uncooperative mother's preferred tool of ruin. All Constitutional rights are ignored and routinely denied to fathers, including life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness; the presumption of innocence, due process, equal protection, and right to counsel. Child support is an autonomous industry run without state oversight or control - ask any Attorney General. The Feds actually pay the states with matching funds to persecute fathers. And if you get on the wrong side of the law, which is nearly guaranteed at some point, they may beat you to death, as New Hampshire "officials" did to a 41 year-old unemployed father who fell behind on "child support."

For the millions of disenfranchised fathers who suffer two and a half times the psychological stress of the death of a spouse, divorce and its subsequent utter ruin at the hands of a jackbooted state makes life unbearable. Every 38 minutes another single parent takes his own life - and another child goes through hell.

This American Gulag is occurring right in our own backyard. Every minute, every hour, every day. For more information, search for "Stephen Baskerville" or look for one of thousands of father's rights groups worldwide.

"All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." Get involved! This is the civil rights movement of the era.

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Summary: Thank You for Your Insight
Review: In my time of need, this book opened my eyes to what society really thinks of divorced and single dads. I knew, after reading this book, that it wasn't anything I was or wasn't doing; it was simply the way the system works. I thank these two wonderful authors for their time and effort in researching and writing a book that I will never give away. Thank you so much for confirming that I am the good father I knew I was.

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Summary: A More Balance Perception of Fatherhood is Needed
Review: It would seem that a more balanced perception of the institution of fatherhood is needed in the 21st century.
There is an apparent general tendency within our society to view the role of fathers in the upbringing of their children as either useless or irrelevant.
Stereotypes such as lazy, deadbeat, dangerous, bumbling or even biologically unfit are rampant within the print media as well as television.

Unfortunately, these myths all have a lasting influential effect as to how children and parents view fatherhood. There are also barriers, some subtle, some blatant, that hinder fathers from taking more of an active participation in the upbringing of their children. To put it bluntly, "the cards are stacked against fathers."

University of California at Riverside psychology professor Ross D. Parke and veteran journalist Armin A. Brott have teamed up to debunk many of these falsehoods in their probing book Throwaway Dads: The Myths and Barriers That Keep Men From Being the Fathers They Want To Be

As a result of the immense research and study the authors have devoted to the subject matter, the book presents some very convincing arguments that counter many of the accepted allegations that are propagated by various so called experts.
Startling revelations that are seldom presented in the media seem to indicate that even many professionals such as social workers, lawyers, therapists, medical doctors and investigators contribute to some of the unfair actions that are directed towards fathers. Very often the onus is on men to prove their parental fitness, whereas in the case of women it is presumed. This is particularly evident in cases of child custody.

The authors offer solutions to resolve some of the issues. However, as they assert: "promoting a cultural change in the ways that society views fathers and the ways that men view themselves in this role is not an easy task. No single program, book, or corporate policy alone is going to change fathering in our time."

Those searching for well-balanced arguments pertaining to the subject matter of the importance of fatherhood will find this book extremely thought provoking. The concluding suggestions as to how to overcome some of the obstacles that keep fathers away from their children are illuminating and to a certain extent original.

Norm Goldman Editor of Bookpleasures.com

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Summary: Shattering Myths
Review: This book is an incredible affirmation of what fathering can truly be.

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Summary: Thoughtful... Thought Provoking... Truthful...
Review: Well researched and written in a similar voice as Sanford Braver and Diane O'Connell's "Divorced Dads : Shattering the Myths", Park and Brott's "Throwaway Dads" should be considered a necessary companion volume. "Throwaway Dads" adds to the latter in many important ways. It includes a full discussion of the sociopolitical origins of the current climate of "dad bashing", as well as a "eye's open" criticism of the inability of the fractured factions of men's and father's rights organizations to do anything effective to counter it thus far.

Parents and policy makers should read this book while thinking about the climate of paradox, inequity and, often outright hatred of fathers we have created. A climate that await our own sons. All the inequities in the treatment of fathers currently found in the media, courts, state and federal government agencies will likely be visited upon them too, once they become fathers. The authors offer many suggestions for changes to the legal and political climate that would serve to reposition fathers as significant, valuable and necessary partners in parenthood. This book is a well written addition to discussion of the topic.

While reading this book at the local coffee house, I witnessed the following exchange between two women in their early twenties. An exchange that illustrates one of "Throwaway Dads" basic premises. That, with the exception of financial support, father's are now oftentimes extraneous. I was at the same time, shocked and saddened.

Woman One (ecstatic) - "I'm pregnant!"

Woman Two (also excited) - "Really... Do you know who's it is?"

Woman One (more ecstatic) - "No!"

Woman Two - "Do you care???"

Woman One (even more ecstatic) - "No!"

It was a clear illustration of how little perceived value fathers have to many people today. Especially those who have grown up within a culture that dismisses so readily their value. This woman clearly did not perceive any value in her child knowing who her father is, let alone having him in her life.

While considering the scene I had just witnessed, a play on the phrase "Out of sight, Out of mind" came to mind. "Out of Sight (Invisible), Out of Mind (Insanity)"... "Invisible, Insanity".

We have made our fathers "Invisible", and it is... "Insanity".