Ten Thousand Sorrows : The Extraordinary Journey of a Korean War Orphan

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Summary: A gripping yet good story
Review: I read this book within a couple of hours. I remember while being stationed in Korea, and folks talked about this and how they didn't care for their less than perfect citizens. I also remember the orphanages there and how scarce they seem to be. Personally, I felt it was a gripping story, because of the fact that the author writes of it with such a detachment if you will. Personally, those parents that adopted her should have never done so to begin with. At least her adoptive father admitted to his harsh treatment of her, but the mother acts like she was the best thing that came off the pike. I guess so when she cleaned your home from top to bottom, took care of your own mother while withstanding her abuse until she died. Then married a man who then mistreated her cause he was forced to marry her???? I MEAN where is the justice here?? I guess she had to write all this in a detached mode. To me, Ms. Kim suffered got her share and more on those 10000 sorrows, it is time for her to get the joys now if you please.

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Summary: Non-Person to Super-Person
Review: Elizabeth Kim conveys her experiences with such elaborate and powerful detail! A book that was very difficult to set down, Kim invites the reader into her life as a child. Her amazing writing enables the reader to see everything through the eyes of "little Kim." As I was reading, I could actually see the Korean landscape; I felt the claustrophobia of being caged in a Korean orphanage; I felt her incessant fear of abandonment. Kim expertly develops the story in this way so that the reader can comprehend and understand the feelings and fears of Kim's adulthood. Kim establishes a story that induces empathy, not simply sympathy. The most compelling feature is Kim's honesty and disclosure of the personal damages she suffered not only from physical abuse, but also mental abuse and neglect - all of which were compounded by her mixed nationality and deeply rooted in the traditions of Korea society. Kim's journey in life portrays a kind of courage that may only exist in a "Super-Person."

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Summary: A Review of Ten Thousand Sorrows
Review: This autobiographical story of a Korean girl, Elizabeth Kim, is about her fight for survival. It is a great book because it teaches the reader about another culture and about how other people suffer. We recommend it to everyone, especially people who are considering adopting a child from another culture.

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Summary: unreliable narrator
Review: I bought this book after I heard Ms. Kim speak at a function in Corte Madera, Ca. I noted that she had nothing but complaints to share with an audience of mostly writers, to whom she warned about writing a memoir becuase of her bad experience. I wondered if she was having a bad day, or that this was her stance--"I had no control over when wrote this book, over the photo on the jacket, or anything having to do with this book or my life." Furthermore, she trashed the publisher multiple times and and complained that she had not yet earned back her advance. I bought the book however, because as a therapist and memoir writer and teacher I love reading memoirs, and can read any kind of horrific tale becuase of my profession. I do believe that her mother was murdered and that she was traumatized by this awful event, but even at the beginning I found it difficult to believe that her mother was completely perfect without a flaw, and there was no discord that occurs in the normal daily lives of all mothers and daughters. As I read, I noticed that she violated some of the basic rules of writing--in almost every sentence she used passive verbs or "was" or "had" rather than trying harder to create powerful sentences. I was further discouraged to see that her account was all bad, and I found it unbelievable as other readers have that she learned piano and English in a short time. I learned piano as a child, and it takes longer than a month. The unremittingly dour, negative and an obvious manipulative agenda turned me off of this book. I have heard hundreds of stories of child abuse and neglect, some of them as bad as this, but I was disturbed by her insistence that in thirty years she never had a good day, or if she did, it was with her perfect daughter, a mirror to her perfect lost mother. I felt that Ms. Kim was remiss in not telling her parents ahead of time about the book. She told us yet another story of her victimization--someone who knew her parents xeroxed the book and showed it to them. She thought they'd never find out about it! It's incredible, and if she had advice to treat her parents that way, it was bad advice. In my writing instruction over time, I was told that if you manipulate the reader to feel a certain way about you, it may backfire. I was taught that you should try to find a way to understand those imperfect creatures who raise us the best they can, given their shortcomings. How about some compassion and understanding for where her parents and grandmother came from--what were their lives like. Did they ever suffer physical punishment or pain? The answer would be yes, of course they did, or they would not have passed it on to her. If she wants to write about her sorrows, let us in on the sorrwos of those around her. In her talk, she said that also her husband has sued her, which is unfortunate. But everyone knows that if you write bad things about your ex-husband, and he can be identified, that he might do something strange and awful, especially if that's how he always acted. Ms. Kim seeemed too much a victim and too naive to be believeable. This is unfortunate, because I'm sure some or most of her story is true, but it is so one sided as to cause great doubt in a thinking reader's mind. I have never written a review before, but I was so disturbed by her talk and my subsequent reading of this book, that I felt I had to speak out.

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Summary: One writer's opinion
Review: I was also at the Corte Madera event one reviewer talks about, and I must take exception. Elizabeth was speaking, ostensibly, to a roomful of professional writers, and she was asked to talk candidly about the pitfalls of memoir-writing. She was letting us know what to watch out for, what kind of painful experiences might be expected, etc. She didn't "bad mouth" anyone -- she talked honestly and openly in the hope of helping other writers navigate unfamiliar waters. She spoke with humility and humor, and her speech, like her book, was self-effacing, completely lacking in self-pity, and devastatingly honest. I've read about the controversy, and I notice it's non-published writers who attack her. Other writers, who know the truth about what it's like having the courage to put yourself out there, are supportive. And Koreans of her age and background also support her and remember similar stories. Jealousy does, indeed, make critics of us all.

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Summary: Heartbreaking Story
Review: This book is absolutely heartbreaking. It moved me deeply. It is the story of a Korean orphan who was adopted by very strict, fundamentalist parents who seemed to have no regard for anything but rules.
Adoption is a subject very near and dear to my heart, and while I read the book, all I wished was that I could adopt Elizabeth, and give her a happy childhood and help her through her sorrows, instead of rubbing them with salt. I am horrified at what was done to Elizabeth in the name of Christianity. She was not abused in the sense that most people see it, but her precious heart was certainly ignored, neglected, and thrown around. Somehow I think that had Jesus adopted her, things would have been very different. I think he would have given her a night light and never made her walk in the dark alone, and I think when she went out and picked the flowers, instead of scolding her for running away and picking "weeds," he would have put them in a vase, and told her over and over again how very beautiful they were, and what a wonderful little girl she was to go and pick them.
I have read quite a few reviews of this book, many of them doubting the authenticity of the story. While I don't know anything about that, I can say that just because Ms. Kim remembers events from her early life in great detail does not mean the story is not true. I remember, in vivid detail, sitting out on our back patio and sharing Dove bars with my mom just as Ms. Kim remembers sharing rice with her mother when she was young. Some people just have very good memories. I am one of them and I am guessing Ms. Kim is as well.
I highly, highly recommend this book. It is not an "easy" read, but it is well worth it.

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Summary: Whenever you need a reality check - or some inspiration
Review: Elizabeth Kim's story is fascinating, torturous, disturbing, and inexplicably sad. This book, in short, amazed me. I recommend it to everyone: it is humbling and inspiring even during Kim's direst descriptions. It made me realize how incredibly lucky I am and how trivial my problems really are. There is such a truth in the book's narration - I never detected a hint of self-pity, nor a plea for others' pity. There have only been a few books that I have read that have made me feel different emotions so strongly and empathetically. This is a life-changing book.

Rating:
Summary: Great book!
Review: This was an excellent book! I could not put it down. It is
a sad story, but I really enjoyed the book. I read the review
that says that honor killings do not happen in Korea -
I have a friend who comes from Korea who said honor
killings do happen but they are kept secret (often labeled
as a suicide). I hope the reviewer who thinks he knows all
about the korean culture opens his mind a bit rather than
rejecting something so quickly.

Rating:
Summary: extremely dubious
Review: Elizabeth Kim farms rice in December, months after the last harvest, she flies Korean Airlines years before it is established, she remembers being cursed by peasants as a "honhyora", though this is the politically correct term for a mixed-blood child that peasants would not even know, she goes from not knowing the English for "no" to having a conversation in English within 24 hours, she skips years of school but graduates at 17, she demonstrates a basic ignorance of a Korean culture that she claims to remember vividly: Koreans as avid tea drinkers (!), a regular "spartan" diet of white rice at a time when only the richest Koreans even got close to the stuff. She claims to have arrived in the US well-nourished and at age 6 but the cover photo plainly shows a child of three. There's a reason she gives no dates, years, place names or full names in this book, and there's a reason Doubleday has refused to put out the paperback version. Can't wait to see who is going to put out the paperback version that But if you like this book, you'll love Wilkomirski's memoirs!

Rating:
Summary: I simply could not put it down.
Review: I found the narrative of Ms Kims story easy to read and impossible to put down. The love between mother and daughter
has rarely been written so well. When reading the passages of the ritual of sharing a meal with her birth mother and later when the author shared a meal with her own daughter I could not help contrast it with my own childrens rushed McDonald meals infront of a television.
I found the authors survival an uplifting story well worth a readers time and money.