Facing the Fire : Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately

Rating:
Summary: Breakthrough In Understanding Anger
Review: .
Mr. Lee's approach to discharging/expressing anger safely is RIGHT ON. Many people might think that by expressing anger - they will become more angry. In reality, you are uncovering the suppressed anger that has been inside of you all your life. You are merely becoming AWARE of it. We spend our entire lives stuffing/repressing/avoiding/medicating our anger. We will do anything but FACE it - and get it out.

The good news. The amount of suppressed anger inside us is finite and can be discharged. Mr. Lee would be interested in knowing that a retired neuroscientist (Ellie Van Winkle) has discovered almost exactly the same thing about anger. Her free therapy - "Redirecting Self Therapy", teaches a unique way to safely release anger - free without a therapist. Can't provide a link here, but you can do your own search later. What Ellie's theory gives us, is a biological explanation for what John Lee expresses throughout his book.

Also, John Lee has a unique theory about mental illness. Basically, he believes that trauma causes us to continually try and recreate the circumstances of original trauma, so that the mind has a 2nd opportunity to heal itself. Well, Mr. Lee, you might find the following of interest from Ellie Van Winkle:

"The fantasies in which I lived for close to sixty years were unconscious attempts to recreate early traumas and provide a stage wherein I could redirect my anger toward my parents."

Anger is connected to just about every mental/emotional disorder under the sun. Discharge that anger and your mind begins to heal.

Rating:
Summary: Facing the Fire, by John Lee
Review: As a therapist working with people who have anger issues, I cannot praise this book enough. This is the most definitive book about anger on the bookshelves today. Most authors try an intellectual approach to dealing with anger, but Mr. Lee goes to the heart of the problems and explains why we need it, why we avoid it, and most importantly, how to deal with it appropriately. I ask all my clients (I do group therapy with abused women who have a lot of anger) to read this book so they will have an understanding of what they and others are facing in their healing work. Also, a great book for non-professionals, because it explains anger and confronts in everyday language myths and misconceptions about anger. A must have for anyone who deals with anger (Don't we all?).

Rating:
Summary: Buy this book
Review: Do you have anger? Just commute to work and answer that question. I picked up this book three years ago and couldn't get past chapter 1. - Why did you give it 5 stars then? - The first time I tried to read it only using logic. I was thinking, "I have some anger to fix, so show me the tricks." Well, John Lee talks about anger and emotions. The anger is on top hiding other emotions like hurt or sadness. You have to deal with those underlying emotions, and I wasn't ready to accept this ... at first. After some self discovery and after reading Tuesdays with Morrie (another must read) I did discover that I was hiding my emotions (like too many guys) and I never properly sorted out my anger from the past. I would deny myself the emotional experience out of fear of pain. The anger and resentment would build, and my anger would boil over from time to time. I didn't know how to get it out safely so I denied it. When I picked up the book again, the moon and stars aligned. It clicked. You can't deal with your anger using logic alone. You can't count to 10 and really feel better. It is still there just waiting for your kid to spill something or for you to get cut off in traffic for it to boil over. You have to feel it, you have to feel the underlying emotions and you have to get it out in a safe way that doesn't hurt anybody - including yourself. I don't get mad now when my son or daughter spills something or does other things that kids do. This is required reading for life.

Rating:
Summary: Superb if releasing anger is tough
Review: This book is for people who have trouble with releasing their negative emotions. John Lee explains effectively the benefits from emotional release while at the same time providing some techniques for helping people with repressed anger that are simple, down-to-earth, and reasonable for people to use. This book has helped me a great deal personally, and I think it will help anyone with depression or difficulties releasing anger.

Rating:
Summary: Not helpful for most angry people.
Review: Two reasons I would not recommend this book 1) Was not an appropriate fit. The books title or description should point out better that this books is for people who can't feel, or always suppress anger. If you have a problem of inappropriately expressing anger (like myself), this book has some decent ideas, but really is not for you. Reason 2) - I cannot find that the authors have any credentials other than their personal experiences (which only relate to stuffing anger, not being too angry). Not only is the support for their stance only anecdotal, it is often contradictory. I have learned myself, and they also write, that most of our anger, and the way we deal with it are learned responses to our environment. While we are all born with the ability to be angry, we all learn different ways to deal with it, some appropriate, some inappropriate. Yet, just after stating this, the book goes on to say that we can do very little with our anger cognitively, 'as it is a feeling of the body, not the mind'. That is only one example of the many contradictory stances. There are many other statements that I just cannot agree with. Whether you have a problem with stuffing your anger, or expressing it too much, I would not recommend this as a first book as there are others that would be much more helpful.