How to Handle a Hard-To-Handle Kid: A Parent's Guide to Understanding and Changing Problem Behaviors

Rating:
Summary: How parents can manage "difficult" childhood behaviors
Review: "Let's face it: everyone is hard to handle at times. We become irritable, ignore requests, refuse to cooperate, and lash out at others. Hard-to-handle behaviors like these are a normal part of growing up for most children, especially when they're very young. But some children act out, argue, disobey, and throw temper tantrums more frequently than others. If you're parenting one of these high-maintenance kids, you probably find yourself exhausted and unsure of where to turn. Sometimes it feels like nothing you try works."

Hi! I'm Drew Edwards, author of "How to Handle a Hard-to-Handle Kid: A Parents' Guide to Understanding and Changing Problem Behaviors" (Free Spirit Publishing, 1999). These opening lines from the book's Introduction sum up the types of problems it addresses, as well as the frustrations of raising "difficult" children.

I've been a clinical child psychologist for over 25 years and specialize in working with the parents of young people who are hard-to-handle. This book is the product of my efforts with these mothers and fathers, and the things they and their kids have taught me through the years. It also reflects learnings through co-parenting with my wife, Barbara, our two children, who are now grown. Finally, the book arises out of my course on Effective Parent-Child Relations, which I've taught for a number of years at Wake Forest University.

The book presents an approach known as Authoritative Parenting, which was developed by developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind. This parenting style balances the direction, structure and discipline we provide our children with emotional support through such means as effective listening and positive time. In the book, I provide clear, specific details on how to use Authoritative Parenting principles in changing childhood behavior problems from nursery school to middle school. A good deal of research and practice indicates that this approach is effective for raising children in general, not just hard-to-handle ones. In fact, though the book focuses on children who are often difficult, it is also applicable to other kids, since, as I said before, "everyone is hard to handle at times."

So, I hope you'll read the book and recommend it to others if you find it helpful. Thanks, and good luck with "the most important job in the world"-- parenting.

Rating:
Summary: Simple and effective handling of a hard to handle subject
Review: Dr. Edwards provides advice on handling the HTH kid. The approach he uses is based upon his vast knowledge and experience in the the field of child psychology. I found that the advice he gives in his book is both simple and sage. He stresses consistency and calm, which produces positive results.

I have even met Dr. Edwards and know first hand that the methods espoused in his book are the ones he practices on a daily basis. In our area he is known by both deed and reputation. He does not speak above you or below you. He does not assume that you are a bad parent because you have a HTH kid. Throughout the book, he imparts simplistic wisdom, through understanding why the behaviors occur and how they can be "changed". This is not a "pop-psychology" quick fix fad book. It gives you reasonable steps to provide reasonable structure and consistency for your child.

HTH kids have a good "extra" parent in Dr. Edwards. He provides calm and reasonable solutions to understanding the HTH kids. He has made me a better parent by showing that even parents need to have structure and guidance.

Even if you do not have a HTH kid, by following Dr. Edwards advice, you will be a better parent and your child benefit from your newfound wisdom.

Rating:
Summary: Changed our Lives!
Review: I was looking for a book to help my boy and me (he was in Grade 1 last year and was having real terrible problems in school to the point the headmaster and teachers found it hard to handle him). I have been having problems handling him myself eversince he was 3 years old. After reading this book, it has really opened my eyes to my type of parenting (authoritarian) and to what "type" of child he is. He is hyperactive and after applying the many advice and parenting techniques, his behavior (and mine) have changed a lot for the better! The "Support through Listening" has given us a breakthrough. My son, knowing now that I understand him, has such a confidence that it had brought him out of a lot of his temper tantrums at home and it had also helped in his low self-esteem. The positive and negative feedback had been truly helpful and the reward system has made life a lot easier. Though I have not put everything that was suggested into practice, I am keeping this as a handbook - will be incorporating bit by bit the productive parenting techniques into our (my husband and I) lives. I thank God for this fantastic book and am deeply grateful to Dr Edwards for his brilliant "workable" strategies and for the encouragement that we've (the whole family) benefitted from it! I have recommended this book to some of my friends.

Rating:
Summary: Changed our Lives!
Review: I was looking for a book to help my boy and me (he was in Grade 1 last year and was having real terrible problems in school to the point the headmaster and teachers found it hard to handle him). I have been having problems handling him myself eversince he was 3 years old. After reading this book, it has really opened my eyes to my type of parenting (authoritarian) and to what "type" of child he is. He is hyperactive and after applying the many advice and parenting techniques, his behavior (and mine) have changed a lot for the better! The "Support through Listening" has given us a breakthrough. My son, knowing now that I understand him, has such a confidence that it had brought him out of a lot of his temper tantrums at home and it had also helped in his low self-esteem. The positive and negative feedback had been truly helpful and the reward system has made life a lot easier. Though I have not put everything that was suggested into practice, I am keeping this as a handbook - will be incorporating bit by bit the productive parenting techniques into our (my husband and I) lives. I thank God for this fantastic book and am deeply grateful to Dr Edwards for his brilliant "workable" strategies and for the encouragement that we've (the whole family) benefitted from it! I have recommended this book to some of my friends.

Rating:
Summary: Good concrete advice on how to deal with today's children
Review: Like the author said, if you don't spend time with the kids when they are young you WILL spend an inordinate amount of time when they are older. Nip the problem in the bud by reading this book. Start to develope good parenting skills as early as possible. Learn some very practical day to day parenting skills involving homework problems,temper tantrums,difficulty in social situations,the dangers of harsh punishment,the real price of rewards, etc. This book has been very helpful to me, although my child doesn't have behavior problems at this time, by reading this book I feel as if I can recognize problems before they get out of hand.

Rating:
Summary: Solid, helpful advice
Review: The ideas on dealing with bedtime hassles made my life, and my girl's, much easier. She can still be difficult, but I've learned how to respond more effectively.

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Summary: Hard-to-handle behaviors not children.
Review: The title of this book is quite misleading to a parent who is looking for help in raising their challenging child. The author does a good enough job with dispensing advice on how to generally deal with hard-to-handle behavior. However, he completely misses the mark on hard-to-handle kids.

Dr. Edwards begins the book with a clear enough discussion on temperment and how it should be taken into account when dealing with children's behavior. Unfortunately, he does not follow his own advice throughout the remainder of the book.

Even the chapter on dealing with specific hard-to-handle situations fails to discuss temperment. Dr. Edwards ignores that mealtime difficulties, for example, can be played out differently in children with varying temperments. He speaks in vague generalities. These hard-to-handle problems cannot always be boiled down so simplistically.

For parents of children who are less intense and a bit more flexible, Dr. Edwards advice may be enlightening, but it is of little use to a parent of challenging child.

Rating:
Summary: The best childrearing book I've ever read!
Review: This book has some of the most helpful information for relating to not only difficult children but to anybody in general. Like Dr. Edwards said in his book, we all can be difficult at times. His style of writing is clear and humorous, yet discusses a very serious subject. We, as parents,really need to take an honest look at our children and ourselves and take the time and effort to learn good parenting skills. It's probably the most important job in the world and we have practically no training for it. Even hairdressers have more training for their jobs than parents. Thank you Dr. Edwards for taking the time to write this book. I've tried some of your suggestions already and I'm already feeling better about my daughters and myself.