The Aware Baby

Rating:
Summary: The BEST parenting book ever... I have proof!
Review: (I came to www.amazon.com to buy the new edition of this book for a friend and decided I had to write a review.) If you could have only one book about babies/parenting, this would be the book you should choose! The information in this book and your use of it will be the gift of a lifetime for your child. I read the original edition of this book in March '85 before the birth of my first child. My children are now 17, 15 and 12, and they are AWESOME. I wonder sometimes that it is just my opinion because I am their mother, but we have gotten and still get sincere compliments about our children from waitresses, teachers, coaches, relatives, other parents and even other children!

I had the notion that all babies are born perfect, and it is the parents' job to insure that nothing in their childrearing changes that. That notion coupled with following the advice and guidance of Aletha Solter in "The Aware Baby" are the recipe for the best children you can imagine. Most people, myself included, suffered some form of abuse as children from parents who knew no better. Many of us spend years in therapy trying to heal those wounds. "The Aware Baby" will help you raise your children so all of their "wounds" are healed as they occur. You are shown how to respect your childrens feelings and allow them to experience them fully. This way nothing gets buried inside waiting to trip them up later in life.

To many people this approach to parenting will seem wonderful but difficult: you must give your child what you may never have gotten. The wonderful thing about this is that in the process you will reap your own rewards of your beautiful parenting.

Actually, the best testimony for this book came from my oldest son who recently said, "Mama, when I have kids will you raise them for me? You have done such a great job with us." I told him that I was honored by his request, but I assured him of the truth that I know in my heart: he has absorbed every gift that I got from "The Aware Baby" and will be an awesome father some day.

Rating:
Summary: I really dislike this book
Review: A friend of mine got this book and loved it. She handed it to me and I just could not get through all of it. The basic assumption of this book is that when your baby cries you should sit there and do nothing but pat them on the back and say "You go ahead and cry". While this is great for adults, this does nothing for children. A major problem seems to be the incorrect assumption that people who practice attachment parenting don't allow their children to cry. Attachment Parenting is all about *responding* to a child's cries. Sometimes you can't do anything to comfort your child, but that doesn't mean you stop trying of try and force your child to stop expressing their emotions.

I found nothing in this book that I liked that wasn't in either "The Baby Book" or "You Are Your Child's First Teacher".

Rating:
Summary: Dr. Solter writes the best parenting books
Review: But she will remain obscure because unlike Nanny 911 she is not exploiting children and quick fixing them like they were lowly naughty dogs. Dr. Phil will always have a larger following because Solter's work takes longer, takes time, takes care and parents need to do their own inner work - which takes more than 22 minutes unlike the TV gurus. It's a shame we treat children like annoying hinderances to industry but as long as we do Dr. Solter's work will take a back seat to the quick fix it shut them up gurus out there. She is awesome and my babies and I are lucky to have come across her eloquent way of articulating child centered work.

Rating:
Summary: the Aware baby is wonderful
Review: I agree that this book is incredible and has helped me enormously. I am raising two daughters and they are very grounded and secure. Solter's book helps enormously. I have recommended it to other mothers and given it as a gift, along with Magda Gerber's books.

Rating:
Summary: Advocates letting your baby cry
Review: I read this as a new breastfeeding mom, and I got lots of conflicting info and feelings. Though she seems to be promoting attachment parenting, the author is very adamant about a baby's "need" to cry. She does recommend that you hold the infant while he's crying, but she is against breastfeeding for comfort, which I don't agree with. She talks about letting the baby cry instead of nursing so he won't get into a "control" pattern. I'm sorry, but a 3 month old baby just needs comfort. Furthermore, her references are very sketchy, especially when it comes to her personal theories, which she presents in the same way that she presents the factual information. This can be confusing to the reader. Good thing I checked her references in each chapter to see where she got her info!! Not recommended.

Rating:
Summary: Essential!
Review: I wish I had gotten this book during pregnancy so I could have started with her approach from day one! But happy anyway that I have it now.

This has totally helped with our sleep issues. The longest I had slept since he was born, 10 months ago, was about 5 hours and that maybe happened twice. He was a chronic nightwaker/nurser sometimes wanting to nurse every 1.5 hours and I was at my wits end. For two nights, instead of nursing him (he is now big enough not to need it nutritionally) I comforted him in my arms, with my body, words, and eyes assuring him I loved and cared for him and that I was listening to what he had to say. Since then he has slept at least for 7 hours at a stretch and usually 9 hours (and we co-sleep).

I have read the negative reviews and I think they missed the point. Of course, you can comfort you baby with some nursing (and of course nurse on demand in those first few vital months!), always follow your instincts, but also consider how good it can be to have a good cry to release stress.

My son definitely had some trauma from a long labor topped off with vacuum extraction. The birth trauma work along with respecting his need to cry ( and not shutting him up because it is hard for me to hear him cry) has really made a positive difference.

Remember, don't ever leave your baby to cry alone or let your baby cry out of your anger or frustration with him/her. Always accompany it with love and support. And of course, nurse your baby when it just feels right!

Goodluck and Bless our Children.

Rating:
Summary: Readers will learn how to bond with their infant
Review: Now in a substantially revised edition to include new research and insights, developmental psychologist Aletha Solter's The Aware Baby presents novice parents with a complete understanding of their baby's emotional needs from conception to two-and-a-half years of age. Readers will learn how to bond with their infant, respond to baby's crying, enhance baby's intelligence, help baby sleep better, find alternatives to punishment for shaping and modifying baby's behavior, and raising their child to be non-violent in their problem solving and personal expression. If you are expecting a baby, or are the brand new parents of one, then begin your parental responsibilities with a thorough and thoughtful reading of Aletha Solter's The Aware Baby.

Rating:
Summary: A Revelation!
Review: Our baby was 7 weeks old when this book was purchased. I didn't feel that leaving a baby to cry on his own was right, nor did I think that overfeeding would benefit him. I needed an alternative and this book was a godsend. No longer do we stress about trying to put him to bed awake then rocking like crazy to get him to sleep. He cries in our arms when it all gets a bit much then he's off to sleep, sometimes we even get a smile before he nods off. Then we put him to bed asleep. Contrary to popular opinion, he doesn't get a fright when he wakes up in either his basinette or our bed. He is an alert and happy wee man (now 3months old).
I thank Aletha Solter for her book which has allowed us to accept all his behaviour with love and to look at our own childhood issues. I recommend his book to any parent, teacher, friend, grandparent, counsellor, nanny, anyone actually. As my mum said "it's a revelation! I wish I'd known about it when you kids were small".

Rating:
Summary: The Aware baby
Review: When I first discovered and read this book my second child was 6 months old and my first child already 3 years old. The book answered nearly every question I had agonised over during my first few years as a mother: it is full of well-researched and honest information about babies and their legitimate needs. After the reading this, and Dr Solter's other two books (Tears and Tantrums and Helping Young Children Flourish) I remember walking down the road with my two children feeling absolutely liberated and for the first time since having children I was not anxious or frustrated or worried about whether O ws `doing the right things' at every juncture. I wished I had heard of Dr Solter's work before; that someone had recommended these three books to me earlier, because in my opinion every parent or parent-to-be would benefit from reading her work. I felt that every mother (and father) in every maternity ward ought to be given a copy of The Aware Baby to read!! It is such an important book, and one which is full of support for parents. In a world where babies and infants are so often misunderstood and consequently so often suffer - even with the best intentions in the world - it offers clear and in my opinion intuitively sound advice in an otherwise confusing sea of information, from conflicting medical advice to an array of methods passed down through the generations; advice and methods which new parents - often in urgent need of `solutions' - follow, even if it goes against their better instinct or judgement.

Put simply, this book tells the reader about baby's emotional world and needs, and how to care for and meet those needs, and thus how to care fully for your child. It is easy to read, easy to understand, practical, and will remain useful as a reference point throughout your baby's development. The books has a clear, easy to follow structure, good referencing which builds on sound academic studies and I have found no other book which covers the issues of babyhood and parenthood so simply, directly and informatively. I cannot recommend this book highly enough.


Rating:
Summary: Help for Frazzled Parents!!!
Review: When my child was a baby he cried a lot, and this made me desperate. Of course, I nursed him, held him, talked to him, changed his diaper, rocked him, bounced him, wore him in a sling, etc. Sometimes these actions would "help" (he would stop crying), and sometimes he just kept on fussing or crying. At those times I felt like a terrible mom. Why is my child so sad, I would wonder. Thank goodness for Dr. Aletha Solter! With her approach (based on copious research), I came to see that crying can be a release mechanism.
Parents misguidedly think that the crying itself is the problem. For example, if a child falls down, he is crying because of the hurt (or surprise) of the fall. Getting him to stop crying is not stopping the pain! Dr. Solter's work taught me how to be with my crying child in a respectful, loving, gentle way.
This book is NOT about leaving your child to cry!!! It is not a "cry it out" approach. It is about sensitively filling your child's needs and being present with her in her hour of need.
I strongly recommend it.