Rating: 
Summary: Reality Check
Review: It was nearly impossible for me to put the book down. Reading Barbara LaSalle's story opened up a can of buried emotions. I related so much to Barbara and Ben's journey, all the pain, the tears and yes, the happiness too. The courage they both had to be so candid and honest really reached me and has helped me to better understand myself and my 15 year-old son who also suffers from AS. I've read many "textbooks" about AS, but "Finding Ben" validated my feelings concerning it. I would recommend this book to anyone who can handle the honest and sometimes cruel reality of living with someone who has a neurological disorder.
Rating:
Summary: WOW
Review: This book knocked me off by feet. Took my breath away. What a stunning gift from mother and son. Exquisite, heart-breaking, compelling (I couldn't put it down - I read it in one sitting!) inspirational, helpful, hopeful, courageous. It takes so much courage to be so honest in the face of so much vulnerability and shame and pain. And it's that honesty that touches and changes us all for the better. Thank you, Barbara and Ben. As a voracious reader, this is one of the very best I've ever read. God bless and keep you both.
Rating:
Summary: A book for ALL parents
Review: This book tells the heartbreaking but ultimately uplifting story of a family's journey through the difficult issues presented by Aspergers. My recommendation, though, is that all parents should consider reading this book. It is a wonderful look at the frustrations we all feel, the self-doubt and self-loathing and even those moments when we wonder why we ever had children. I cried when I read this book, it is so brave and loving and heartfelt. Even if your child doesn't have special needs, you should consider reading this book for the wonderful honesty.
Rating: 
Summary: a tough read
Review: This book was very depressing to me. As the mother of a young son with Asperger's Syndrome, this book left me filled with sorrow and I almost stopped reading it because of the negativity it projects - I really don't need that in my life right now (or at anytime!). I kept reading it though, because the back cover promised a "happy ending." Okay, the ending was a relief, but it wasn't worth the emotional baggae you get from reading it. This author remarks repeatedly about hating her son and wallows in a sea of self pity. Her son grew up before we ever knew what AS was, and her son flounders throughout his life as a result. She rarely had anything good to say about her son and was openly embarrassed by him. I cannot recommend this book because it represents a worst case scenario from the viewpoint of a very bitter mother. People with AS in their lives don't need this extra dose of negativity.. this book did not help me in any way.
Rating:
Summary: Finding Ben
Review: This is a great book for the parent that is living with Autism Spectrum Disorder. It helps you to realize that you are not the only one that has struggled thru the maze of specialist and test and haven't gotten answers. It shows the stress that an ASD child puts on families. It also gives hope. Ben was not dx until he was 20 years old with AS. He did not get the early intervention that is now possible, yet through alot of trials he is suceeding in life. It also makes you realize that you have to love your children for what they are, good or bad. Barbara LaSalle was honest and up front about her feelings and her struggles. It is a great book.
Rating:
Summary: Finding Ben
Review: This is a great book for the parent that is living with Autism Spectrum Disorder. It helps you to realize that you are not the only one that has struggled thru the maze of specialist and test and haven't gotten answers. It shows the stress that an ASD child puts on families. It also gives hope. Ben was not dx until he was 20 years old with AS. He did not get the early intervention that is now possible, yet through alot of trials he is suceeding in life. It also makes you realize that you have to love your children for what they are, good or bad. Barbara LaSalle was honest and up front about her feelings and her struggles. It is a great book.
Rating:
Summary: Highly Recommended
Review: This is wonderfully written account of one family's struggle with Asperger's Syndrome. The story is told in a series of vingettes. The mother (Barbara) and son (Ben) share with us both perspectives. Their story is sweet, sad, funny, tragic and ultimately, hopeful. It is a story every parent , teacher and mental health professional should read.
Rating:
Summary: A touching, inspiring, heartbreaker of a book
Review: What a beautiful, tragic and up-lifting book! I have an AS son who is seven and many of the early chapters reminded me of my son. Barbara (and Ben) have written a valuable guide to parents and professionals (I, too, am both.) They are to be commended. I will recommend this book to friends and family without reservation (well, maybe they should stock up on Kleenex!) Wonderfully honest and also validating for those of us who become overwhelmed with the day-to-day existence with our Aspie children.
Rating:
Summary: THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME
Review: When Benjamin Daniel was born in January of 1969, there was a paucity of resources and information available to lay persons about Asperger's Syndrome, which is a neurological condition on the austim spectrum. Ben was a highly verbal and gifted child. At 18 months, he taught himself to read from watching Sesame Street. At 19 months, Ben's family relocated from New Jersey to southern California. Ben remembers that trip and his first bedroom when he lived in the northeastern United States. A distinctive personality, Ben showed a high level of comprehension for most abstract concepts. He could navigate just about any place he was and he had a fondness for maps. He was inordinately attached to his "Child's History of the World" and "Child's Geography" books and avidly read them each night. Nonathletic, Ben compensated by memorizing Dodger ball games he heard on the radio. A brilliant mimic with an extraordinary memory, Ben could repeat long passages from TV programs, conversations and written material. In childlike role play with peers, he always insisted on being a television or radio and he preferred reading to playing with other children. He also spoke in a formal style, not unlike an adult ("hello, my name is Benjamin and I am very pleased to meet you.") He had a high sensitivity to sound; when he was as young as one year old, he would implore his parents not to fight because "it's too loud and I don't like loud." I like the way Ben's father Steven was honest with him about the marital discord and told him that yes, they were indeed fighting. I also like the way he reassured Ben after the decision to get divorced was made. Ben's problems were not confined to the obvious challenges of having Asperger's. Ben's mother Barbara LaSalle admitted being unable to accept Ben for years and lamented Ben's inability to make friends from the time he was a pre-schooler. Ben would try to appease her by telling her what he thought would make her happy, e.g. a movie date with a peer or being a member of a football team when his school had no such team. Divorced from Ben's father when Ben was 5, the two coped as best they could until she remarried John, a gentle loving man in 1975. Ben's brother David was born that August. One thing that really bothered me was the "motor therapy" his preschool teacher recommended. Since Ben's eyes worked independently and he disliked physical activity and contact sports, he was immediately stared on motor therapy at age 3 together with eye exercise therapy with another doctor. This method seemed rather questionable to me and I was extremely disgusted with "Ms. Reed," the motor therapist. I didn't like the way she forced her player piano on her young clients. Ben and Barbara had no sooner arrived for Ben's first session when Miss Reed eagerly ushered them into her living room to show it off to Ben. Ben made it plain from the first session that he destested it, found it terrifying and implored her not to make him sit in the living room with it. I didn't like the way Ms. Reed talked to Ben or Barbara; I also didn't like the way she kept insisting that counting backward (what was that supposed to accomplish), jumping on a trampoline or spinning in a revolving basket would be fun when Ben made it plain otherwise. He even said he found her house frightening. The topper for me was when she made Ben sit in her living room with that oversized music box. Ben screamed in abject fear and a neighbor wisely called 911. I cheered the neighbor! After Ms. Reed forced him to endure it, I wanted to dispose of it myself. I really thought that was sadistic and I thought it served her right that the neighbor called 911. She plainly couldn't wait to get Ben alone so she could force that noisemaker on him, ostensibly to help him overcome his fear of it. That oversized music box reflected HER needs and had nothing to do with Ben or any projected goals for his physical progress. I didn't like the way she downplayed Ben's fear when telling Barbara about it and the way she said, "either he gets it now or never...be afraid the rest of his life..." when she caused that problem in the first place. I also could not understand why Ben was forced to endure her for years after that disastrous experience. That bothered me. Ben remained true to form. He had trouble organizing his work in school; he had trouble making friends and sports were just not his area of interest. John helped Ben over the worst of his distaste for physical activity by teaching him to climb the jungle gym and ride a bicycle. Although these were never favorite activities of Ben's, he at least had the satisfaction of mastery. John accomplished what the "experts" did not. Ben suffered another set back during the 1980-81 school year. That year Ben was sent with his father who enrolled him in an Arizona boarding school. Ben, suffering from a then undiagnosed Crohn's disease suffered from fecal incontinence. He was abused by other boys and lost 40 pounds his first month. Husky from a young age with a rigid adherence to certain foods, Ben was literally shrinking away that year. Barbara reclaimed custody of Ben and withdrew him from the school at the close of the year. Ben's high school years were a litany of challenges. He changed schools more than once and suffered severe social set backs. By 1987, Ben, then 18 expressed feelings of violent anger and was hospitalized. He became quite husky during this period and the asthma he had since age 3 had worsened. He served time in hospitals over the next few years. In April of 1989 came the crowning blow. On April 29, 1989 Ben threatened another resident at the half way house he was living in because he was upset by the noise the latter was making. He dropped his weapon and allowed to be turned in. Over the course of that week, Ben was forced to endure degrading treatment in the local jail. Only one trusty, a man named Rocky stepped up to the plate for him. (note: April 29, 1989 was a Saturday. Each day in the first week of May, 1989 which was chronicled in the book was set one day ahead and this makes one wonder if this was a psychological device to speed up a horrendous week). It was Rocky's tough love that helped Ben survive the legal difficulty he was in. Thanks to Rocky, the "bald angel with the tattooes" and Doris, a caring worker in a hospital who helped Ben learn to "play the game" so he could be released and the very astute Dr. Mark DeAntonio, Ben's story is now something everyone can take proud delight in. By the early 1990s, one of Dr. LaSalle's friends directed her to Dr. DeAntonio. A sensitive, direct and no-nonsense man from the telling, Dr. DeAntonio reviewed Ben's records and provided mother and son with the answer -- autism. I like the way Dr. LaSalle was finally able to accept Ben and realize that Dr. DeAntonio was not there to reassure her, but to provide some clear answers for Ben's social difficulties. Ben's undefined differences were on the autism spectrum and Dr. DeAntonio does a wonderful job of explaining what Asperger's really means and how it has a place on the autism spectrum. Upon reading this sterling work, I think of Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz saying in effect that everything you are seeking is really right at home. Finding Ben -- he was there all along. This book will empower persons on the spectrum and others who work and/or live with people on the spectrum and will serve as a voice of hope. Ben and Dr. LaSalle are now advocates for people with Asperger's. I can't recommend this book highly enough. The world is finally catching up to Ben, but I think he's ahead.
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